Pretty Little Liars Recap - Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 10

Pretty Little Liars Recap - Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 10
Pretty Little Liars Recap - Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 10
Pretty Little Liars Recap - Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 10
HEADS WILL ROLL in this epic Pretty Little Liars finale, where Queen Jenna and King Noel declare all-out war against the pretty little liars. Who will win and who will get decapitated!?
Pretty Little Liars Recaps » Season 7 Episode 10 » The DArkest Knight
  • This is the midseason finale for Season 7A.
  • This is Noel's last episode on Pretty Little Liars.
  • This is the episode where Toby and Nicole got into a fatal car crash (for her anyway lol).
  • This is the episode where Nicole *finally* returns to destroy Ezria's relationship.
  • Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 10 Review

    EPIC!

    PLL Recap: Pretty Little Liars Season 7 Episode 10

    This episode originally aired on August 30, 2016. The episode recap has 29 comments from the best readers ever.
    I can't believe PLL is finally gonna end! After this season
    PLL FANS: THE END IS NEAR! When Pretty Little Liars announced that they were ending the show in Season 7 last year, I honestly didn’t believe them. I thought it was a cynical ploy to trick jaded fans and long lost viewers into watching the “final” season before renewing the show for another “final” season. But nope, it’s over, it’s finished, it’s official – Pretty Little Liars is cancelled forever!

    Noooo! How…how can it end already!? What will I do with my days if I can’t watch Pretty Little Liars anymore!? On the bright side, this also means PLL has nothing to lose with these last few episodes. The show can go out with a bang and pull off some outrageous plot twists: shocking deaths, shocking pregnancies, shocking maternity test results, anything goes! If you ever wanted to see a pregnant Aria kill Ezra because she found out they were both Mary’s long lost children, it could actually happen zomg!!!

    Hanna and Noel make a snuff film.

    Hanna goes off the deep end after abducting and torturing Noel.
    This episode begins after Hanna knocked Noel unconscious… locked him up in a room… tied him to a chair… and tortured him until the bastard finally confessed to being A.D.

    Hanna: *cracks the whip* ADMIT IT, BITCH! ADMIT YOU ARE EYYYDEEE!!!

    Um, holy shit? Like sure, I expected these antics from a mob boss such as Mona or Jenna, but it’s rather unsettling to see Hanna take such a drastically dark turn all of a sudden. Up until now, what sets the liars apart from the villains is that they don’t do crazy evil shit like this. Dumb shit? Yes, of course. Cheating shit? All the time. But evil shit? No, you’re supposed to be the good guys! Don’t get me wrong tho, I’m totally rooting for Hanna and think her badass actions are long overdue, but at the same time she’s also kinda *lolpsycho*.

    Hanna threatens Noel with a knife! WTF!!!
    Noel: *painful groan*
    Hanna: Fine. We’ll do it MY way.

    When Noel doesn’t respond back, probably because he’s still hemorrhaging in the brain right now, Hanna takes out a knife and threatens to: stab him, scar his beautiful face, cut off his fingers, slash his wrists, dissect his abdomen, carve out his eyeballs, slice off his flesh, wait for the pain to brew for a couple of hours before finally plunging the blade straight through his heart. And afterwards, she can even peel some apple pieces to nibble on as a post-mortem snack. Watch out, Noel! The wrath of Hanna Marin is just beginning, mwhahaha! 😈

    I'm terrified of what Hanna might do to Noel with that knife.
    I joke around, but I’m actually super tense and terrified of what Hanna might do with that goddamn knife. One, this is Hanna we’re talking about, so it’s kinda like watching a child with a pair of scissors and she probably shouldn’t proceed any further without adult supervision. And two, I don’t think this is her simply being a *dumb bitch* and coming up with another harebrained plan like always. I think this is her going *legit insane* because the poor girl has been traumatized one too many times.

    For me, the scariest part is when Hanna held the knife against Noel’s throat, pausing for a moment of hesitation as if she actually contemplated about whether to end his life right here and now. After offing Archer earlier this season, it appears that Hanna has a thirst for zee blood and now her first impulse is to kill, kill, kill ’em all! Murder is so easy, why didn’t I do it a lot sooner! Hehehe! 😁

    OMG! Hanna attacks Noel with the knife and draws blood!
    During an intense moment, Hanna takes a swipe with the knife and plunges it into Noel’s body! Oh my word! The camera slowly lowers down… and we see a curious view of his crotch… and for a moment there, I seriously thought she may have castrated him. Goddammit Noel, just admit that you’re A and you’d still have your balls intact! *lol*

    To my disappointment, Hanna merely grazes the knife blade across Noel’s leg and gives him a tiny little boo-boo on his knee. Afterwards, she stares at the blood-stained knife and we suddenly hear maniacal laughter howling in the background! Not from Hanna, but from me. YAS YAS YAS I WANT MOAR BLOODSHED IN THIS PLL FINALE! DON’T STOP UNTIL I SEE A WATERFALL OF BLOOD!!!

    Hanna records herself threatening Noel with a knife, hoping to use it as evidence against him. WUT.
    Oddly enough, Hanna decides to record the whole interrogation with a camcorder. I would ask why, but then again I don’t actually understand why she’s doing ANY of this. I think it’s because she wants to record Noel’s confession on camera, which fair enough…but does Hanna not realize that she’s also incriminating herself in the process? She doesn’t wear a mask, she doesn’t disguise her voice, she doesn’t even try to hide from her own camera.

    Imagine if Hanna hands over this footage to the police as evidence against Noel, only to get arrested herself because all they see is a psycho girl who tied up an unconscious victim and threatened him with a knife. This is just a friendly public service announcement to all you future kidnappers out there: don’t record yourself committing the crime.

    The pretty little liars call the police believing Hanna has been aducted, when in reality it's really the other way around.
    Meanwhile, the other liars are worried that Hanna has gone AWOL and they think she might have been abducted again. In a truly shocking twist, the pretty little liars respond to this crisis by calling the police for help??? SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, THEY DID WHAT!?!? Every time these bitches say they’re gonna call the po-po, they always make up some dumb excuse and chicken out at the last second. Imagine my surprise when Spencer actually picks up the phone and reports the abduction! Ooh Detective Fuery, come serve and protect me!

    Of course, the one and only time that the pretty little liars do call the police, it turns out one of their own is the perpetrator instead. I love how A’s bajillion crimes go unreported over the years, but as soon as Hanna commits her first deliberate crime, her friends immediately send the police hounds to go after her ass. *lol*

    Alison says: To quote my dead husband, karma's a bitch!
    Aria: If we do this, there’s no stepping back from it…
    Spencer: And we risk the police finding out about Archer…
    Caleb: You mean finding out that Hanna ran him over and you buried him like a dog!
    Alison: To quote my dead husband, karma’s a bitch. 😉

    LMAO. I love Alison’s unapologetically sassy attitude towards his gruesome death. He died, he was an abusive asshole, he deserved it! Also, I can’t imagine a context where *TO QUOTE MY DEAD HUSBAND* isn’t hilarious and she needs to use this coin of phrase way more often in all her conversations.

    Spencer kisses Detective Furey out of the blue.
    Let’s check in with Detective Furey to see how the investigation is goin…oh, erm, okay. Hard at work, I see. Doesn’t it seem like his character is more focused on finding a girlfriend than finding an important lead in his police investigations? Every time we see the guy, he’s going like *I’M SINGLE & READY TO MINGLE* while all these unsolved murders are happening around him. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the homicide rate in Rosewood has gone way up since this Casanova detective took over the police duties?

    At times like these, it makes me really miss the Tannersaurus because you know that badass bitch won’t stand for this hanky-panky bullshit. Yeah, try making out with me Spencer, I dare you! [/Lt. Tanner]

    I can't get myself excited about Spencer and Marco's new relationship, sorry.
    For the record, Spencer was the one who initiated the kiss between them. Afterwards, she did the whole *OMG I’M SO SORRY I DUNNO WHY I DID DAT HEHEHE* routine that we’ve seen many times on the show before. Spencer’s kiss felt random as hell even by PLL standards, especially given the circumstances. You think your friend has been abducted and you immediately give your bofo a celebratory kiss in the heat of the moment??? Wow, Spencer, just wow.

    Speaking of Detective Furey, I don’t have anything against him, but I find his character so extra and so unnecessary. Do we really need a new love interest introduced in the final season? He’s merely a consolation prize for Spencer just because she can’t get with Caleb or Toby. Except you know Spoby is happening, so this new romance feels like a big waste of time. (Altho how hilarious would it be if Sparco *is* the real endgame? lol make it happen!)

    Toby and Marco shake hands as one passes the invisible relationship baton to the other.
    The only reason why Detective Furey exists is because Toby still insists on marrying whatsherface. Did he not get the latest memo that everyone else is going back to their Season 1 love interests? Okay bro, you’ve had your fun with that side piece Yvonne, but now it’s time to go back to your real wife!

    Marco: Toby, I know you and Spencer are old friends, but I promise you nothing is gonna happen to those women on my watch. If I don’t see you later, thank you for your services. *handshake*

    Am I interpreting the scene wrong or was this a very special moment where Marco accepted the ~invisible relationship baton~ from Toby? Don’t worry bro, I vow to take care of your ex-girlfriend in sickness and in health! Thank you for your services!

    Haleb: SEX ON YOUR KNEES

    Hanna and Noel make the news headlines after the police issued a missing person alert on her ass.
    Unfortunately for Hanna, the situation is escalating quickly and the police have now issued a statewide amber alert about her abduction. Just think, there’re currently search parties venturing through dangerous mountains and treacherous forests and crowded shopping malls in hopes of finding the missing woman before it’s too late. There must be church gatherings and town hall meetings held across Rosewood, as we watch the whole town coming together to light a candle in their vigils and keep her in their prayers. 😭😭😭

    …and meanwhile, Hanna is in her safehouse sharpening a knife as she pinpoints which arteries to cut on Noel’s unconscious body. *lol*

    Hanna calls in Mona for crisis management once again.
    Hanna’s original plan is to get a blood sample from Noel, send it to the lab for testing, wait for the results to confirm he is Mary’s second child, and then… umm… hope everything will fall into place and justice will be served? *lolkay* As you can tell, this bitch is in way over her head, but luckily Mona Olivia Pope is here with a broom and dust pan to clean up her mess as always.

    Hanna: I’m sorry to rope you in like this, but when I saw the news, I didn’t know who else to call. 😎
    Mona: Well, next time, call me before you abduct someone and go on the run. It just makes my life a little easier. 😐

    IKR? What made Hanna think she can carry out this plan on her own? Actually, the better question would be what made her think she can carry out this plan *at all*. GURL KNOW UR LIMITS.

    Mona is a miracle worker doing massive damage control to clean up Hanna's mess.
    The only thing Hanna did right so far is to call Mona for crisis management. The demon imp is busting her ass and trying to pull off multiple miracles simultaneously just to do damage control. It will take a mastermind of Mona’s calibre just to clean up the global destruction level of MESS that Hanna has caused, that’s for sure.

    This can’t be said enough, BUT THANK GOD FOR MONA. Like jesus eff christ, I don’t even know how the bitch does it again and again, but she has saved Hanna from sabotaging her own life more times than I can count. Is there a Nobel Peace Prize award for criminal humanitarianism that we can grant Mona, because this bitch seriously deserves recognition for her work!

    It's not simply enough that Hanna can send Noel to prison, she wants to prove he is A too!
    Unsurprisingly, Mona is already more efficient in less than five seconds and finds the stolen USB with the incriminating footage of Noel in the dollhouse.

    Mona: Hanna, you don’t need the test results. This is more than enough to put Noel behind bars! You can’t get any worse than the dollhouse!
    Hanna: No! Busting Noel for the dollhouse is like busting a mob boss for tax evasion! I want Noel to be held accountable for everything he did! I’m gonna prove he’s A.D.!!! 😠

    GURL! WUT! NO! I DON’T UNDERSTAND, SCOOBY DOO! Can’t you hand over the USB to the police first and then you can investigate whatever you want afterwards? Is it really that important to solve this baby momma mystery just to satisfy Hanna’s curiosity and feel some sort of moral victory over A? Just lock him up and take down one of A’s minions while you still can!

    Mona coaches Hanna on how to make up a fake police testimony lmao~
    Oh man, you gotta give Mona props for her herculean efforts to save Hanna: first she comes up with a cover-up story to explain Hanna’s disappearance, then she writes the script word-by-word, and she even coaches her protégé on how to deliver the lie convincingly. lol dis bitch has it ALL covered!

    Hanna: *gives fake police testimony* It looks bad, but I wanted to prove to my friends and to all of you that Noel is the person who has been tormenting us. I went to Holly Brook to find the girl he pushed down the stairs. If I could get her to talk, we’d have a credible witness. Unfortunately, I couldn’t track her down. I’m just so sorry that I worried everybody by disappearing like that.

    Congratulations Hanna, you graduated from Mona Vanderwaal’s Academy for Aspiring Criminals! Here’s your diploma and certificate! CLAP CLAP CLAP!

    Caleb and Hanna share a moment together right in front of Spencer. *awks*
    Hanna reappears again and lies her ass off about what happened, while everybody somehow believes her version of the story and files it under the *HANNA MARIN DOES ANOTHER STOOPID THANG* compartment. Naturally, Caleb bursts through the doors at that exact moment and immediately wraps Hanna in his arms for an affectionate embrace and the two of them declare their love for each other as a million rose petals fall beautifully from the sky! Let’s get married, my soulmate! 😍😍😍

    …meanwhile, Spencer is literally sitting RIGHT THERE watching these two sluts with a face of thunder. *lolololol* Even Emily felt so much second-hand awkwardness that she cast a look of pity at Spencer afterwards. Like geez, Haleb, do you mind??? Can you please conduct your romantic reconciliation elsewhere away from Caleb’s ex-girlfriend? Or do the two of you get off on rubbing more salt onto your friend’s wounds? 😒

    Hanna and Caleb share a romantic kiss together. Um, what happened to backing off because you don't have feelings for him anymore? GURL.
    Caleb: YOU ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS!!! Hanna, you don’t do dishes until they mold! You eat french fries in bed, cold! You don’t gas up the car until it starts beeping! You won’t admit that we’re meant to spend the rest of our lives together! You send food back if the waiter breathes on it funny! And you know what, there’s probably milk in that fridge that’s older than me!

    OH MY GOD!!! Hanna eats fries in bed!? What a savage! Also, Caleb made some nauseating declaration of his eternal lurve, but I’m honestly so over Haleb at this point that my only response to them getting back together is a reluctant groan. Am I the only one disgusted that Caleb could say shit like *YOU WON’T ADMIT THAT WE’RE MEANT TO SPEND THE REST OF OUR LIVES TOGETHER* even though he was wiping snot from his nose and desperately pleading for Spencer to take him back a few episodes ago? His gross behaviour is just…ugh, gurl, talk to the hand.

    Hanna and Caleb immediately make up on all the make-up sex that they've missed over the years.
    Soon afterwards, Hanna and Caleb immediately compensate for all of the hot passionate make-up sex that they’ve missed over the years! Weirdly enough, both of them are kneeling on the ground as they get their freak on, almost like *oh let us pray before we penetrate*. Having sex on your knees is kinda kinky I guess, but they do know there’s a perfectly cozy sofa right next to them, right?
    Pretty Little Liars thinks they're so edgy showing us pseudo nudity with the Haleb sex scene.
    I thought we’re gonna see three seconds of kneeling sex and then move on, but Pretty Little Liars insists on showing every painstakingly minuscule moment of their fornication. The problem that I always had with PLL sex scenes is how the action might look pornographic but they’d never dare to show us the real goods. It’s like they want to film NC-17 sex scenes before remembering they’re airing on a PG-13 network. You think you’re HBO and you can show nudity, but then you suddenly realize you’re Freeform lolz.

    The result is an annoying compromise where Hanna takes off her bra and goes topless in this scene, and PLL is like *ooh we’re such an EDGY and SEXY tv show*, but of course they cut away before we get to see the nips. Look, either show us her boobs or don’t show us any sex at all, nobody likes a cocktease!

    That awkward moment when you realize Caleb also had fireplace sex with Spencer last season?
    Did you guys get a case of deja vu when Caleb and Hanna had sex near a fireplace? It reminded me of the time when Caleb and Spencer also did it next to the fireplace last season. Is this supposed to be symbolic or does Caleb just like to get laid beside fireplaces by coincidence?

    Caleb and Hanna are officially back together again…or at least until he cheats on her cuz a leopard doesn’t change its spots. What infuriates me is not just how these two betrayed Spencer, but also the way they kept *denying their feelings* and *buying fake engagement rings* and *begging Spencer for a second chance only to hook up with Hanna as soon as she’s available*. Their overwrought romantic saga has been a tragic hot mess and it ruined Haleb as a couple forever. In fact, the only way Caleb can redeem himself in my eyes is if he cheats on Hanna with Mama Marin because the epicness would actually overshadow his awfulness.

    Did Hanna forget that she actually abducted Noel while she was having sex with Caleb?
    By the way, did Hanna forget that she abducted Noel and he’s currently in her captivity right now!? I love how this bitch went through all that trouble to kidnap somebody, but then she got bored halfway through her revenge plot and decided to go pork Caleb instead. No offense Hanna, but maybe evaluate your priorities a little better?

    It’s baffling because Hanna would go to jail if she got caught, yet she still didn’t think it was important enough to keep a watchful eye over her captive. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she left Noel alone, but she also left him alone WITH MONA. Okay, real talk, can we all agree the demon imp is responsible for freeing Noel and helping him run off with the incriminating footage? I don’t have proof, but you know if Mona gets any opportunity to troll the liars, she’s totally gonna screw them over. *lol so obvious*

    The Second Coming of Nicole, Our Homewrecking Messiah.

    Aria has been celebrating ever since she found out her love rival Nicole didn't come back to life.
    GOOD NEWS, EVERYBODY! NICOLE IS DEAD!!! After Aria finished throwing a celebratory party and dancing all night long on her rival’s grave, she urges Ezra to hop on the first plane and hurry back home. Understandably, he’s still sulking and moping over his ex, not that Aria really gives a shit and has already moved on to planning what they should have for tonight’s dinner.

    Ezra: I get why you deleted the call. No one should have to mourn someone twice… 😭
    Aria: Soooooo, do you wanna eat pork ribs or steak? 😀

    During their convo, there’s a noticeable contrast between Ezra still mourning in grief and Aria barely containing her glee. Why the long face, Ezra? That bitch is dead and now we shall feast, hooray!

    Nicole is dead!? Let's bring out the champagne and celebrate!
    Holy cow, I wasn’t joking when I said that Aria prepared a *feast*. This bitch has outdone herself by cooking a fancy candlelit dinner, even bringing out the champagne and wine glasses to celebrate this joyous occasion. Shhh, don’t tell Ezra but she has also hired a harpist, a stand-up comedian, and a trio of clowns to provide some tableside entertainment! A party planner will be arriving shortly to decorate this room with banners and balloons! I wanna know when we can start the fireworks!
    Aria is pulling all the stops to prepare a romantic dinner with Ezra right after he found out Nicole is dead.
    I mean, c’mon Aria. Do you really think your heartbroken fiancé is in the mood to have a romantic dinner, especially after taking a long flight with some devastating news looming over his head? No matter how overjoyed you might feel right now, can you try to appear *more tactful* and *less festive* over Nicole’s death? BTW, now might be the time to call off the marching band and tell them it’s not necessary to attend your parade in the streets.

    Ezra mentioned there’s one last search party to look for Nicole, which should’ve set off immediate alarm bells for Aria. 🚨 If this filler storyline still hasn’t been resolved by the finale, then you must realize there’s gonna be a !!PLOT TWIST!! Little does Aria know that her celebration will be short-lived and there’s a homewrecking tornado heading her way!

    Little does Aria know that her bliss is short-lived and that homewrecking ho Nicole is right around the corner!
    Let’s put ourselves in Aria’s shoes and discuss her possible counterattacks. What can she do to fend off Nicole’s impending invasion?

    One: Call the government and beg them to cancel the search party. Please, please, please don’t rescue her!

    Two: Take a leaf from Hanna’s book and pretend to be kidnapped, in hopes that Ezra will prioritize her abduction over Nicole’s.

    Three: Fly over to Colombia and find Nicole first, so that she can choke the life outta the bitch with her bare hands! If those radical terrorists didn’t kill you already, THEN I WILL END YOU MYSELF!!!

    Aria cusses out a customer service rep because she doesn't know Ezra's whereabouts.
    OHNOES! Ezra still hasn’t arrived back home a few hours later! Did Nicole sink her claws into him already!? Fearing the worst, Aria calls the airline for more information, only to cuss out the customer service rep in a hilariously neurotic meltdown.

    Aria: His plane landed hours ago! I’m just asking you to tell me if he got on the flight! Don’t you understand!? He’s not answering his phone! He could be lying in a ditch somewhere! I AM HIS FIANCÉE!!!

    Wow Aria, calm your tits. Yelling at a random stranger over the phone isn’t gonna bring him back to you. Besides, you know the airline employee is rolling her eyes on the other end and reading some generic response off the company handbook. Also, “lying in a ditch somewhere” is a tad melodramatic, no? Ezra is late for a few hours = HE’S DEAD OMFG!!!

    Ha ha! Nicole is still alive! Suck it, Aria!
    Unfortunately, Aria watches the news in mortified horror to find them reporting on The Second Coming of Nicole Gordon. Yes, it is true, our homewrecking messiah has risen from the dead at the most opportune moment to destroy the evils of Ezria. Our saviour waited and bided her time patiently, choosing not to resurface on this earth until the engagement ring is secured around Aria’s finger. “I shall wreck this dastardly couple when they feel the most at bliss,” Nicole cackled.

    What must be going through Aria’s mind right now as her whole world comes crashing down? You thought you were gonna marry Ezra, you thought you had no more competition, you thought you were gonna cry tears of joy when you found out Nicole isn’t alive… WELL, YOU THOUGHT WRONG BITCH!!! NICOLE LIVES!!! HA HA, SUCK ON IT, ARIA!!! 😆😆😆

    There's no way Aria can come between Ezra and Nicole now that they're reunited again, right?
    My favourite part about this storyline is that Aria thought she had the perfect sob story after being abducted for three weeks, only for Nicole to one-up the bitch and get kidnapped for THREE YEARS. Anything you can do, I can do better!

    From a moral standpoint, there has gotta be no friggin’ way Aria can come in between Ezra and Nicole now, right? If she has any principles whatsoever, Aria should step aside, take off her engagement ring, and hand it over to Nicole because it’s rightfully hers to keep. C’mon, you can’t compete with her and you shouldn’t compete either. Just think, the only thing keeping the poor girl alive in the past three years is a tiny glimmer of hope that she can reunite with Ezra again. Are you gonna stoop so low and get in the way of their love story? Just quit, Aria! Forfeit! Surrender! It’s the right thing to do!

    Did Ezra really kiss Nicole or was it all in Aria's imagination? I'm so confused!
    OH DAMN THEY KISSED!!! Dat awkward moment when you see your fiancé making out with another woman on a televised broadcast. 😵 As much as I wanna drag Ezra, it turns out the kiss may have never materialized? When Aria rewinded the footage, he didn’t actually kiss Nicole during the rewatch. Um okay, what a strangely ambiguous scene. Did it happen or not!?

    Theory One: Ezra never kissed Nicole! Aria only hallucinated them kissing because she’s an insecure jealous dingbat, but it was all in her imagination.

    Theory Two: Ezra did kiss Nicole! Aria didn’t see it the second time because she was in so much denial and mentally blocked that horrible memory from her head forever. The image of Ezra and Nicole kissing must’ve shocked Aria so much that she developed post-traumatic amnesia immediately afterwards.

    Let's cheer for Nicole and hope she is successful in her campaign to homewreck Aria and Ezra's relationship.
    Needless to say, I’m obviously cheering for Nicole and hope she’s successful in her homewrecking campaign. Let’s hope she lays down the biggest guilt trip ever (“I was held captive in a small cell and brutally beaten everyday, but my only salvation is scrawling Ezra’s name on the walls with my fingernails!”) and makes it impossible for him to go back to Aria without looking like a major asshole.

    In fact, I hope Nicole gets offered a lucrative book deal to write about her experiences, and Ezra seizes the opportunity to fulfill his journalistic ambitions by co-writing a bestselling memoir with his new lover. The two of them will go on book tours, talk show appearances, followed by a televised wedding where Nicole announces she’s pregnant with his baby! The final scene of Pretty Little Liars will feature Aria as one of the wedding guests seated in the back row, as she quietly sobs over the perfect life that Nicole has stolen from her.

    Let's cheer for Nicole and hope she is successful in her campaign to homewreck Aria and Ezra's relationship.
    Speaking of book deals, that ought to be Nicole’s best bargaining chip with Ezra. Some of you may think she doesn’t stand a chance of breaking up Ezria’s relationship, but don’t underestimate his ravenous ambition or his desperate need to vindicate himself as a writer. He isn’t satisfied being the author to some frivolous stories, not when it’s his lifelong desire to write a commercially viable and critically acclaimed exposé.

    In fact, the only reason why Ezra hasn’t phoned Aria yet is because he’s too busy calling his publisher to secure the exclusive rights for Nicole’s story. I love you Nicole, especially if you’re gonna make me a world-famous writer!

    I am pregnant with your stolen eggs, Emily.

    Paige thinks she can worm her way back to Emily's good graces, but Alison is gonna call her out on it!
    Back when Hanna had gone missing (for approximately 30 minutes, give or take), Paige took advantage of the chaotic situation to cozy up to Emily. Oh don’t mind me, imma put my hand on your body to provide emotional support! Teehee! Her transparent actions have not gone unnoticed by Alison, who proceeds to talk maaaad smack about Paige behind her back.

    Alison: Ugh, it’s hard enough going through this without being gawked at!
    Emily: You mean Paige? I invited her.
    Alison: Why? She has nothing to do with this. I just think it’s a little PATHETIC that she’s using us to get close to you.

    Bwhahaha! Alison’s inner bitch may have remained dormant for the past couple of seasons, but all it takes is Paige being Paige and that’s enough to bring an entire volcano of bitchery into eruption. Grrr, who does Pathetic Paige think she is!? Dat beeyotch got no class!

    Emily's milkshake brings all the girls to the yard, ooh yeah.
    Alison: *disgusted face* Doesn’t she know that you’re dating someone!?
    Emily: Well, things with Sabrina are kind of on a pause…

    To be fair, I don’t think even Emily knows that she’s dating someone considering how little she thinks about Sabrina. Can you pause a relationship when it hasn’t started at all? What I don’t understand is after going through all that trouble to win over Sabrina, it seems like Emily lost all interest in her girlfriend from the moment they started dating. Good for you if your milkshake brings all the lezzies to the yard, but please don’t string along the second-tier and third-tier love interests if you aren’t gonna make any effort with them.

    Alison doesn't really care that Emily has a girlfriend, but only brings it up to spite Paige.
    I should clarify that Alison doesn’t give a shyte if Emily has a girlfriend or not, but the only reason she brings it up is to spite Paige and sabotage her chances at a romantic reconciliation. Otherwise, let’s not pretend Alison is some sort of patron saint advocating for faithful relationships. Gurl, don’t start unless you can explain where you’ve been with the *DOESN’T SHE KNOW YOU’RE DATING SOMEONE* retort when Aria, Hanna & Spencer were all running around and cheating like hoes!
    Alison: *sees Paige put her arm around Emily’s shoulder* UGHHHH I’M GONNA BE SICK!!!! 😠

    LMAO. PAILY MAKES ME NAUSEATED! Okay, so I actually like Alison when she pretends to be a teary-eyed & sympathetic goody-two-shoes. But of course, I prefer her much better when she lets loose and behaves like a demonic raving bitch! 😈 It was a pleasure watching Alison at the top of her game during this scene, because her bitchery is truly sublime and second to none. Watching her insult Paige, it’s like watching an expert gunsman fire a round of bullets and hitting bullseye exactly every single time. Don’t stop, Ali! Say more bitchy things about Pigskin, yay!

    Oh my god! Alison is pregnant! It's our first PLL baby!
    Since Emily’s apartment is currently contaminated with Haleb sex, she decides to spend the night at Alison’s place. Everything was fine and dandy, until Alison drops a *massive bombshell* outta nowhere and announces that she is PREGNANT. 😮

    Alison: At first, I thought I was just stressed. I mean, like before, but it was a false alarm. Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening!

    OMG! I can’t believe it’s happening either! This comes as a complete shock to me! Out of all the pretty little liars, I had Hanna and Aria pegged as the type of gals most likely to go for unprotected sex (Caleb: “I forgot a condom.” Hanna: “Oh well!”) I always figured we’d see a Haleb baby or an Ezria abortion as our very first PLL pregnancy.

    Alison is pregnant with Archer's alien baby! Congratulations!
    Congratulations on being preggos, Alison! Or should I offer my sincerest condolences instead? It gotta suck knowing that you got knocked up by some evil maniac and you’re about to give birth to a monster baby with no soul. Let’s face it, their offspring stands no chance of becoming a sentient creature with both Alison and Archer’s genes in the mix.

    One might think Alison’s best option is to make a nip-and-tuck appointment at the local abortionist, but I highly doubt PLL would abort such a juicy soap opera storyline in the final season. My prediction is that she’ll go through with the pregnancy despite a lot of waffling back and forth. Now, I don’t wanna give too much spoilers for the Pretty Little Liars reboot that’s happening in ten years, but Alison will give birth to twin girls, and Jessica DiLaurentis Jr. will try to drown Mary DiLaurentis Jr. in a bathtub during their troubled adolescences.

    Alison is totally pregnant with Emily's stolen eggs from Season 6.
    Emily: Is it Archer’s???
    Alison: Of course! Who else would it be!?

    Do you even have to ask whose baby it is? You guys, I’m calling it right now, Alison is totally pregnant with Emily’s stolen eggs from Season 6. I dunno the specifics, but A must’ve found a way to inject dem omelettes into Alison’s ovarian chutes back when she was unconscious. Um, how does that type of reproduction work, you ask? WHO CARES. We won’t let science or human biology get in the way of a future Emison baby! Just imagine Emily and Alison raising their mutant baby together as a happily married couple. OMG IT MUST HAPPEN.

    I wanna find somebody who loves me as much as Emily loves Alison, yo.
    Alison: I thought my mom would be here when this happened. To give me advice, not that she was very good at it. At least I wouldn’t be alone…
    Emily: No, you’re not alone! I’m here, okay? Whatever you decide to do.

    1.) I love how Alison is incapable of expressing a nice sentiment about her mom without dissing her right afterwards. *lol* Excuse me, I’ll have you know Mama Di dispenses great advice, such as what type of fertilizer to use when burying your undead child.

    2.) As you watch these Emison scenes, doesn’t it make you wish you can find somebody who loves you as much as Emily loves Alison? This type of unconditional love is so sacred and so precious. Ali, you’re not alone! I vow to attend every pregnancy yoga class with you! Let’s raise this baby together and start a happily dysfunctional lesbian family like The Fosters!

    Is Alison kissing Emily because she wants to retaliate against Paige? Totally.
    I dunno whether Alison is feeling hormonal or just horny, but she suddenly leans in for a kiss! Emily pulls away, claiming she doesn’t wanna take advantage of a vulnerable pregnant widow, while Alison is simply like *lol gurl don’t fight it, you know you want a piece of dis*.

    Emily: Ali, you’re really vulnerable right now…
    Alison: That’s not why, I promise. *BIG WET SLOBBERING KISS*

    Can Alison also promise that she isn’t kissing Emily as a way of manipulating her to get one over Paige? It strikes me as odd that Ali didn’t act on her feelings for Em until she saw Paige making a move first. The way I see it, this kiss was approximately *90% retaliation tactics* and *10% bicurious lust*. Sure I’ll kiss you Emily…as long as it stops you from kissing Psycho Paige!

    Emily is finally rewarded with some Emison sex during one of their many sleepovers together.
    And then, we get to see Emison consummate their love! Or at least I think they did, since we don’t actually see them do any fiddling on-screen? What I don’t understand is how we witnessed every moment of Haleb’s three-hour porno marathon, but Alison and Emily kissed for three seconds before the show jumps to a commercial break. Excuse me, where’s all the missing footage of their hot steamy pregnant lesbian sex, Pretty Little Liars!?

    Anyway, I’m just glad that Emily got rewarded with some nookie. In the past few seasons, she had so many of these *lemme stay over at ur place tonite* sleepovers with Alison, which never led to anywhere. After all this time of waiting and hoping for the right moment to come, Emily’s perseverance finally pays off and she gets to wake up on a sofa with Alison nuzzling against her boob! 😘

    Paige has the audacity to refer to herself as Emily's girlfriend. Um bitch, you wish!
    Meanwhile, poor Paige still thinks she stands a chance of achieving a Paily endgame, so she shows up in hopes of asking Emily out on a date. Unfortunately, there’s an Emison stan posing as a cop and forbids her from entering. Sorry ma’am, I can’t let you pass while Alison and Emily are still having intercourse!

    Paige: Please, I just have to drop something off for my girlfriend!

    Paige = LOL MESS. Oh honey, I don’t know what reality you must be living in, but YOU. ARE. NOT. DATING. EMILY. Her delusions are kinda funny, but it’s mostly just sad and pathetic watching Paige describe herself as *the official girlfriend* when she’s not even the *back-up girlfriend*. Bitch, you’re merely #3 to the throne! Know your place and take a goddamn seat!

    Rhetorical question, but why is Psycho Paige acting like such a crazy ex-girlfriend?
    When Emily saunters out of the house half-naked, Paige took in one whiff of the Emison stench and already knew what happened. HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME, EMILY!!! DON’T YOU KNOW I’M YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!! 😠

    Emily: Look, Ali is going through something and she needs me right now!
    Paige: Unbelievable! Nothing has changed, has it Em!? She saw us getting close again and now she’s trying to drive a wedge in between us!

    Okay, those are some strong words coming from the same chick who planned to drive a wedge in between Emily and Sabrina after seeing them together last episode. Hate on Alison all you want, but don’t hate her just because she took your exact same strategy and beat you at your own game.

    Emily is totally a puppet and Alison is pulling all the strings in control of every move.
    Paige: Ali is the same person that she always used to be. She doesn’t want anybody happy unless it’s on her terms! You’re still controlled by her! It’s like you’re her puppet!
    Emily: No, that’s not what’s happening!
    Paige: You know what!? Call me when you finally decide to cut the strings!

    Not that Emily would ever admit it, but lol yeah Paige is serving some #truthtea and she’s basically right about everything. In fact, Emily is so under the influence that Alison doesn’t need to lift a single finger and could control her puppet through telekinesis. Kiss me, Emily! *yes master* Get rid of Paige! *yes master* Say you aren’t controlled by me! *yes master*

    Paige may have lost this battle for Emily's affections, but you haven't lost the war against Alison. Keep fighting, girl!
    After making such a bold statement, Paige doesn’t storm away in a huff of rage, but instead hops on her dinky little bicycle and rides off with the wheels squeaking behind her. LOL BYE FELICIA!

    If I must choose between Emison and Paily (…we can rule out Sabrina at this point, right?), then I’d obviously buy Paige a one-way ticket to Ravenswood and tell her to disappear forever. However, I want some better closure for her character, because I don’t like seeing Paige still get bullied by the popular mean girl seven seasons later. Let’s hope she comes back in 7B with a bitter vengeance. I want Psycho Paige to reach her Super Saiyan mode and fight Alison to the death! Put these two bitches in a colosseum arena, let them duke it out in a gruelling battle, and may the best woman emerge victorious holding their opponent’s head on a stick!

    Spencer gives Toby the KISS OF DEATH.

    Detective Furey is more concerned about dating Spencer than catching criminals.
    Since Noel is supposed to be a super dangerous fugitive on the run, the pretty little liars are under a 24/7 police surveillance lockdown. You’d think Detective Furey might be somewhere out there, leading the manhunt and catching those bad guys, but I guess it’s silly of me to expect the Rosewood police to do actual police work. Instead, he shows up at Spencer’s doorstep to offer her some up close and personal police protection! 😉

    Furey: I personally placed an officer on every one of your doorsteps. I’m taking the night shift. Eating dinner alone in the squad car is kinda depressing, so I got extra hoping you can join me.

    Let me get this straight. His subordinates are all outside working, while Detective Casanova over here is too busy chatting up Spencer and asking her out for dinner. Just so you know, your hard-earned tax dollars are paying for this guy’s salary and funding his love life.

    Detective Furey is trying to woo Spencer with dinner, but she can only think about Toby, Toby, Toby.
    Furey: Two orders of spaghetti bolognese! I also got you a cherry soda with crushed ice.
    Spencer: That’s actually my favourite. How did you know that?
    Furey: One of your friends might have helped me out.
    Spencer: Was it Toby???
    Furey: I don’t snitch on my informants.

    Toby! What are you doing!? You’re supposed to get back together with Spencer, not playing cupid matchmaker between your bro and your ex! Despite his best efforts to set the two of them up, it only reminded Spencer that she’s settling for Detective Furey’s pasta carbonara when she could have Toby’s spaghetti bolognese instead. In other words, why are you still drinking plain old soda when you can easily snatch that delicious cherry soda right from Yvonne’s hands!?

    Spencer makes a bold play to win back Toby and steal him away from Yvonne.
    Spencer visits Toby under the pretense of saying goodbye to him, but this is actually a POWER PLAY to snatch him away from Yvonne before it’s too late. To be fair, Toby & Yvonne had nearly 20 episodes to break up on their own terms. But now that time is running out for a Spoby endgame, Spencer ain’t gonna wait around and play fair no more until she gets her man!

    Spencer: I’m really, really happy for you, Toby. You deserve love. You deserve that kind of great, big, beautiful love more than anyone else I know.
    Toby: Thank you. I hope you find the same.

    “You deserve love” is just another way of saying “I love you” to somebody, right? This is basically a love confession without the exact words. Spencer is dancing right on the edge here, one more euphemism and she can effectively be charged in homewrecking court.

    Spencer gives Toby a book of French poetry as a nerdy parting gift.
    I gotta laugh at Spencer’s crappy parting gift for Toby. She gave him a book of French poetry, which was supposed to be so *poignant* and *symbolic* from her point of view, except you know Toby doesn’t understand 90%+ of the vocabulary in there. He might be able to fool her with his amateur French in a conversation or two, but let’s not overestimate the intellectual capacity of this neanderthal.

    Besides, even if Toby did understand the language, what made Spencer think that he would enjoy reading poems in his leisure time? I’m sorry, but Mr. Cavanaugh doesn’t strike me as the type to wax lyrical over Dr. Seuss and his mad rhymes. He wouldn’t read poetry even if it was in English, let alone in French. The only use Toby would ever have for this book of poems is if he was squatting over the crapper and just happened to run out of toilet paper.

    Spencer outright asks Toby if she could kiss him one last time.
    Spencer was one moment away from dropping down to her knee and serenading Toby on the spot, but she decided to drop the charade and just cut to the chase.

    Spencer: Toby, can I kiss you? Just one last time? Just to say goodbye?

    Holy lol, I can’t believe she actually said that? TIME IS RUNNING OUT FOR SPOBY, LET’S KISS ALREADY! Kudos for being honest with your feelings, but most of us just keep our lecherous thoughts inside our heads. And kudos for going after what you want, but umm…he’s engaged? Also, you have a boyfriend? Remember Detective Furey? Remember Yvonne? Most importantly, do you remember you still have ethics, Spencer Hastings???

    Spencer and Toby kissed while betraying Yvonne, almost like how Hanna and Caleb kissed while betraying Spencer.
    AND THEN SPOBY KISSED ZOMG. WHAT THE FUCK. I know I shouldn’t be shocked by the excessive adultery on this show anymore, I know what I signed up for when I watch Pretty Little Affairs, but sometimes I still remain amazed at how these slutbags can cheat on each other so easily and effortlessly. Why is this normal!? What the hell is wrong with all of them!?

    You might think Spencer would be more sensitive to poaching somebody else’s man after what happened between Hanna and Caleb, but apparently the one important lesson she took from that experience is how CHEATERS ALWAYS WIN. Wow Spencer, you of all people should know better than to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Just because Caleb cheated on you doesn’t make it okay for you and Toby to cheat too. Tsk tsk, Miss Hastings! I am seriously TSK-TSKING at you, gurl!

    Let's not forget that Spencer has a known track record for kissing other people's fiancés in the past.
    After I got over the moral outrage of Spencer kissing Toby, I actually think it’s kinda epic that she homewrecked another engagement yet again. LOL GEDDIT SLUT. Let’s not forget that Spencer has a known track record of smooching other people’s fiancés as early as the first season. It’s only appropriate that she comes full circle and returns to her cheating roots in the final season too.

    The first time you kiss somebody’s fiancé, it gives you a bad reputation. But the second time you kiss somebody’s fiancé, it gives you an iconic legacy. Now I’m rooting for Spencer to go on a massive slut rampage and tongue down every engaged man she encounters. Better lock up your fiancé, Aria! Spencer Hastings is coming for your Ezra!

    I can't believe even Toby cheated on his fiancée in a rather uncharacteristic move.
    On the other hand, I’m really disappointed in Toby! 🙁 Maybe it’s because I held him to a higher standard and always regarded Toby as the one PLL character who’d never cheat, but he showed his ass and proved to be just as unfaithful as the rest of them.

    Toby: *texts Spencer* Heading out soon. And I just wanted to say… *whispers* I love you.

    NO TOBY! Put that phone away! Ugh, searching for a decent, trustworthy romantic partner in PLL is like chasing a mythical unicorn. Just when you come close to finding one, he whips out his phone and starts sexting his mistress (“miss u babe! see attached dick pic xoxo”) behind his fiancée’s back. Oh Toby, how very Anthony Weiner of you.

    Toby died in a car accident after Spencer kissed him! She gave him the KISS OF DEATH!!!
    When Toby tried to skip town with Yvonne in the middle of the night, God looked down on him waving his finger and going like LOLNOPE. Cheatin’ Cavanaugh received a swift serving of karmic justice when he got into a lethal car accident! ZOMG! Maybe he should’ve paid more attention to the road and spent less time reminiscing his kiss with Spencer!

    On the surface, this seems like a simple car accident…or is it? If Spencer was here, she’d definitely describe it as a **FIRST-DEGREE MURDER**. We’ll have to wait for the investigation reports to see if the brakes were cut or the airbags were rigged, but my theory is that the Spoby fans were involved in this diabolical assassination plot. Noooo, our plan backfired! We only wanted to kill Yvonne, not both of them!

    What if Spencer was the reason why Toby never checked up his car properly and caused him to have the accident?
    It must be noted that Toby was in the middle of doing a maintenance check-up on his car before Spencer disrupted him. What if she was the reason why he became distracted and the vehicle didn’t get examined properly!? 😮 One could argue the accident wouldn’t have happened if she never came over to tempt him with her ominous KISS OF DEATH. This is what we called direct correlation: you kissed him and now he’s dead, Spencer!!! 😵
    After the car accident, Toby is definitely still alive and Yvonne is definitely a dead character about to be written off.
    Okay, I keep saying Toby is dead, but we all know he isn’t really dead dead and will leave this car accident without a scratch. At worst, he’ll be in a coma until he miraculously wakes up during the last episode just to profess his love for Spencer. Unless she’s gonna have an endgame romance with a dead corpse, it’s obvious that her preordained love interest will stay alive even if he was hit by an earthquake, a hurricane and a tsunami all at the same time.

    Yvonne, on the other hand, is totally DEAD DEAD DEAD. This bitch is meeting her maker, 100% guaranteed. Her death certificate is already signed, her body is already cremated, her ashes are already spread across the sea. You must realize PLL didn’t pull off this car accident stunt just so Toby and Yvonne can both climb out of the wreckage, holding hands, and carry on their merry way. This is the most obvious ploy for her character to die so that Spoby can live.

    Toby should've broken up with Yvonne sooner in the season so that her character didn't need to needlessly die
    RIP YVONNE. As if it wasn’t bad enough that Toby cheated on her, now he’s responsible for her death too. If only he broke up with her sooner, PLL wouldn’t have to rely on this tired trope and needlessly kill off her character. Toby should’ve just dumped his fiancée and she might actually be able to live. Poor Yvonne could’ve enjoyed the same fates as Jordan & Liam after the break-up, living through the rest of their happily miniscule existences off-screen.

    Personally, I’m indifferent to Yvonne and couldn’t care less whether she lives or dies. My only reservation is that I can’t believe yet another black chick is gonna die on this show!? Maya, Shana, and now Yvonne. Um hello, Pretty Little Liars? Ever heard of BLACK LIVES MATTER? I don’t care if Yvonne’s character is some disposable, useless, pitiful excuse for a love interest, her puny insignificant life still matters! *raises empowering fist*

    Queen Jenna and her castle of hell.

    The blood test results confirm that Noel isn't Mary's missing child!
    The reason why Hanna abducted Noel and beat a confession out of him is based on a hunch that Noel might be Mary’s second child. She assumed the two of them are related because they both have *evil* and *creepy* in their DNA. Unfortunately, the lab results came back and confirmed that Noel is NOT Mary’s bastard baby!

    Hanna: Is there any way that you made a mistake? There’s no way that you dropped ketchup from your hot dog or one of the hairs from your beard fell in there?

    Only in Hanna’s world would a scientist get a blood sample and a splotch of ketchup confused. Does she think this is a laboratory or a hot dog stand? It’s not like they do the blood test in one hand and eat fries with the other hand.

    The pretty little liars record a fake conversation of themselves and trick the police into thinking they're still in the house.
    Hanna confessed to her friends about her *perfect crime* afterwards, while the other liars take turns clocking her for being dumb, reckless, psycho, etc. Unfortunately, nobody else in the pretty little brain trust has a better idea of what to do. Their current plan is to go up to Noel and simply ask if he’s A.D. or not. Maybe if we ask really nicely, he’ll say yes?

    The pretty little liars sneak out at night, but first they record a fake conversation of themselves and trick the police into thinking they’re still inside the house. This leads to a comical situation where the entire police force is standing guard around an empty building. Just think, Detective Furey is currently outside pounding on Spencer’s door, trying to ask her out on a second date, but ends up getting stood up in the most humiliating way. “Spencer, I can hear you in there! If you don’t wanna go on a date with me, then just come out and say it to my face! 😭”

    Noel escaped captivity after stealing the incriminating footage of Hanna's crime.
    Aria: You did remember to, like, water and feed him, right? 😏
    Spencer: Did you remember to tie him up??? 😏

    Girls, have some more confidence in your friend! I’m sure Hanna knows exactly what she’s do- OH SHIT NOEL IS GONE!!! I should also point out Mona’s inconspicuous absence, even though she had promised to take care of the hostage situation on her friend’s behalf. Oh surrrre, Hanna, go run off to have sex with Caleb while I stay here and keep watch over the mess that you made! As soon as Hanna stepped out of the room, Mona had already cut him loose and sent him away with a suitcase because that’s what you get for trusting the demon imp.

    Noel escaped captivity after stealing the incriminating footage of Hanna's crime.
    Not only did Noel managed to escape, but the mofo also stole the camera with the incriminating footage of Hanna committing the crime. OMFG. Why would you leave behind the evidence alone with your captive!? What a rookie mistake!

    Hanna: He took the camera! He can make it look like I kidnapped him!
    Alison: You did kidnap him, Hanna!

    LOL. Oh Hanna. If only she had the foresight to take the camcorder with her, Noel wouldn’t have anything to blackmail her with right now. And as an added bonus, she’d also have a juicy sex tape with Caleb for a keepsake!

    Mona and Jenna have a heated exchange in the elevator. Fortunately, there was no bloodshed.
    Meanwhile, Mona and Jenna are having an intense elevator showdown! On the surface, the two of them may appear poised and speak in calm voices, but don’t be fooled by their seemingly civilized conversation. Deep down, these bitches are waging war against each other, although the calibre of their combat is so godly that it can’t be understood by us mere peasants.

    Mona: I’m here to make an offer. Stop looking for Noel and leave those girls alone.
    Jenna: And why would I do that?
    Mona: Because, Bonnie, Clyde’s gonna be in police custody real soon. And my hunch is, he’s gonna sing like a canary.

    Lemme translate their exchange: MONA LAUNCHES AN AIR STRIKE! JENNA RETALIATES BACK WITH A CANNON EXPLOSION! DANGER DANGER, PEARL HARBOUR IS DOWN!!!

    I thought Mona and Jenna were supposed to be allies, but I guess a partnership between two forces so powerful is never meant to last.
    Up until this elevator exchange, I actually thought Mona and Jenna were supposed to be secret allies. I assumed they were on the same side of evil all along, bonding due to their mutual hatred for Alison. Wasn’t there a scene in Season 5 where the two of them met up and plotted diabolical world destruction plans together?

    Then again, an alliance between two forces so deadly and so powerful is never meant to last for long. It’s impossible for Queen Mona and Queen Jenna to co-exist in the same space without a massive power struggle between them. This is what happens when there’re two queens vying for one throne. They may be able to negotiate temporary ceasefires and peace treaties, but it’s inevitable that one of their kingdoms will declare all-out war against the other sooner or later.

    How is Jenna, a blind girl, able to put on her lipstick so perfectly?
    SIDEBAR: Can we solve the mystery of how Jenna is able to apply her lipstick so perfectly even though she’s supposed to be blind? No mishaps or accidents, she’s colouring straight within the lines. Dis bitch just makes it look so easy, standing there in the elevator and painting her lips like she’s Picasso working on a piece of art.

    How embarrassing that some of us can’t even do this properly while seated in front of a mirror using both hands (how many of you have been told: “oh sweetie, you got lipstick on your teeth…” during your lifetime?), whereas this blind girl is schooling everybody and showing us how it’s done. *putting on mah jungle red lipstick* And that’s why they call me queen!

    Mona and Caleb have so much chemistry that they can make each other's coffee like a synchronized tag team.
    SIDEBAR 2: Can we also solve the mystery of whatever the hell is happening between Mona and Caleb? There was a bizarre moment when the two of them made coffee for each other. He poured some milk into her cup ☕, while she dropped a sugar cube into his ☕, and it was strange to see them so in sync that even their arm movements were freakishly synchronized. The universe asks: “WTF IS HAPPENING!” Why aren’t they killing each other!? Also, why is Caleb letting Mona handle his drink, isn’t he afraid of her poisoning him!?

    The only explanation: SEASON OF MALEB. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, but Mona x Caleb gotta be endgame. Can you imagine how Hanna might react if they get together? Abducting and assaulting Noel will seem like minor crimes considering what she’d do to the two of them!

    Sydney is back, posing as a bad Jenna impersonator in order to trick Mona and Caleb.
    Mona and Caleb have been stalking Jenna in anticipation of her next attack. Or at least the pair *thinks* they’re following Jenna, but in reality they’ve been following her bad cruise ship impersonator instead. ZOMG ITZ MEEE JENNA! …said the tall pouty brunette lookalike who vaguely resembles our queen if you squint hard enough. It’s incredible that anyone can claim they’re Jenna by putting on sunglasses and wearing the same brand of lipstick, which is all it takes to fool Caleb & Mona with such a flawless disguise.

    Okay, I’ll just say what everybody is thinking right now, but who dis bitch??? For a moment, I thought this was some production member who stumbled onto set to touch up Mona’s eyeliner. Apparently this is Sydney, one of Jenna’s henchmen who managed to stay alive over the years. Her only purpose is to stand in for her master, like a neglected understudy, whenever Jenna can’t be bothered to show up during a scene.

     Jenna lured the pretty little liars into an abandoned school for the blind, also known as the Joseph Lloyd King School for the Blind.
    The real Jenna has lured the pretty little liars into an abandoned school for the blind. As the liars wander around this creepy rat-infested (and doll-infested) hellhole, they speculate how Jenna might have stayed here when she first went blind. They also discovered the school was founded in 1873 and closed a couple of years ago back in 2009. Since then, the Jenna Army must’ve overrun the place and taken it over as their base headquarters.

    How spooky is it that an established school with over 100+ years of history immediately shut down after Jenna’s arrival? Coincidence? I think not. Our queen must not have been satisfied with the accommodations here, so she had the staff exiled and the school itself burned to the ground.

    Jenna's voice suddenly blasts out at the pretty little liars when they didn't reference her blindness properly.
    Hanna: So, Jenna could’ve come here when she first lost her eyesight…
    Jenna: I DIDN’T LOSE MY SIGHT, YOU TOOK IT FROM ME!!!

    Unable to contain her fury towards those bitches, Jenna’s voice blasts out through the intercom all of a sudden, giving the pretty little liars quite a fright. When I die and go to hell, I expect to hear this terrifying voice speak down to me in the same omnipresent manner.

    Mary Drake is also haunting the blind school, like the Gengar to Jenna's Misdreavous
    However, Jenna isn’t the only demonic creature haunting this abandoned building. Blink and you might miss her, Mary Drake emerged from the shadows all of a sudden before vanishing again a few seconds later. Her appearance was so mysteriously eerie and totally random as hell. At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Like, did I see a ghost? The pretty little liars didn’t notice her though, so they continued exploring the school unaware of all the ghost-type and dark-type Pokemon that could be lurking anywhere behind those walls.
    You see the USB for one moment...and now you don't see it anymore!
    Jenna instructs the pretty little liars to leave behind the USB key on the table. In return, they can retrieve the camcorder with the incriminating footage of Hanna. In typical PLL fashion, this exchange took place and came out looking hokey as hell. One moment, the thumb drive is placed on the table… And then, the door slams shut! Abracadabra, the drive is now mysteriously gone~

    Um okay, did the USB grow legs and walk away on its own? Otherwise, how could it just vanish into the air like that within a split second? The only logical explanation is that Jenna must’ve turned into a bat and swooped down to grab the USB while nobody was looking.

    THIS IS WAR: Jenna and Noel vs. Pretty Little Liars

    Emily forgot her phone inside this creepy school. JUST LEAVE IT AND BUY A NEW ONE!
    After retrieving Hanna’s camera, the pretty little liars were gonna skedaddle until Emily realized that she left her phone upstairs! *ohnoes* Bitch, you were inside for two minutes! Why did you even take out your phone? There’s a proper time and place to snapchat, but this is not it!

    Personally, I wouldn’t take the risk of staying inside this creepy haunted school for one second longer than necessary. Just leave now and buy a new phone, gurl! Unfortunately, Emily still has two years left in her cell phone provider plan, so she insists on going back to find her Samsung Galaxy. The liars decide to split up and Hanna joins her friend on this adventure quest. Hey, what could go wrong? It’d only take a few secs to grab your phone, right? It’s not like Noel and Jenna are waiting upstairs with axes and handguns in an all-out ambush, riiiight?

    War has officially been declared between the pretty little liars against Jenna and Noel!
    Noel: You really think we’re gonna let you leave? You know too much!

    AND BOOM! That was the sound of a cannon shot, because war has been declared between Jenna’s Army and the pretty little liars! Before we begin, lemme give you the background on this guerilla organization known as Jenna’s Army. Queen Jenna Marshall, a well-respected leader known for her cunning mind and her merciless warfare tactics, spent the past decade assembling a group of loyal henchmen and training them into militant soldiers. Together, they form a dangerous rebel faction with one mission in mind: KILL ALL LIARS.

    Commander Noel Kahn is the finest lieutenant in Jenna’s Army. He’s known for his sociopathic tendencies and his insatiable bloodthirst. Queen Jenna put him in the frontlines of this war, fully confident that Noel can annihilate her enemies and bring five dead bodies back to her!

    Noel picked up a battle axe and planned to chop the pretty little liars into pieces.
    If you had any doubts about their intent to kill, let’s make it clear that Jenna’s Army ain’t fucking around in the finale. No more cryptic messages or frivolous little death threats, this is goddamn all-out war! As soon as Noel picked up a BATTLE AXE in his hands, I was like OHHHH SHITTTT. This crazy motherfucker is gonna strike that blade against their pretty little skulls! (btw why is there an axe in the school for the blind? dis show kills me sometimes lawl~)

    Noel: You can run, but you can’t hide! 😈 You bitches never understood me, I always get what I want. 😈 I taught Jenna a lot, but one thing she taught Charlotte and me was how to smell fear.

    Noel was just wandering around with an axe and reciting these horror movie lines like a lunatic madman. The scariest part isn’t even the axe in his hands, but rather his complete descent into insanity. WHAT A FUCKING PSYCHO.

    Watch out! Jenna has a gun! I repeat, the blind girl has a gun!
    Elsewhere, Jenna is out on the hunt…and be careful, she’s carrying a gun! 😎 Okay, giving a gun to the blind girl is absolutely RIDICULOUS and I fucking love how BONKERS this show can be. It was a hoot watching her stumble around and wave the gun in totally random directions. No Jenna, you’re shooting at the ceiling! No Jenna, you’re aiming at the wall! No Jenna, you’re pointing it at the floor!

    Sure, Queen Jenna carrying the gun is awesome and she looks badass as hell, but you’d think it might be a smarter allocation of resources to give the firearm to Noel instead. Also, I don’t understand why Jenna and Noel decided to split up. All the tactical strategists know that the war commander and the military lieutenant should be navigating the battlefield together!

    Jenna stands on top of a staircase, threatening to kill the pretty little liars with a gun.
    In the past, Jenna would send out one of her loyal foot soldiers (Shana, Sara, Garrett, etc.) to assassinate the pretty little liars, while she sat back and played innocent even though all of the sinister plots originated from her commands. Whaaaa? Shana held you at gunpoint? I had nothing to do with it! *lol plz* After so many failed murder attempts, Jenna scraps these elaborate plots and takes a much simpler approach: JUST SHOOT THEM DEAD.

    Jenna: Alison? Is that you!? You’ve been the bitch. The missing girl. The dead girl. Tonight, you get to be me!

    I got chills, y’all! How glorious was it to watch Jenna bitch out Alison while standing on top of a staircase and waving a gun in her face! This magnificent showdown was everything that I ever wanted out of life! YAAAAAS KWEEN!!! 😍

    Emily punches Noel, and he falls to the ground right on top of his axe!
    By now, it’s obvious that Jenna & Noel are planning to murder all of the liars tonight. (Ali snarks: “Grudge much, Jenna?” And you wonder why Jenna is so hellbent on killing those bitches. *lol it’s self-explanatory*) Poor Emily and Hanna are under an intense attack from Noel, who has been chasing them through the hallways. You gotta give Hanna kudos for being baller enough to fight back, by grabbing the nearest weapon and going into a head-to-head duel against Noel’s battle axe. Goddamn, Hanna is kicking some ass!

    Both of them take a swing at the same time and Noel’s axe falls into the floor on impact. He uses his fists to strike the girls, only for Emily to dodge his attack and deliver an awesome knuckle sandwich into his face! Noel falls down… directly… ON THE AXE!!! What a great tag team effort from our two ladies, with Hanna providing the assist and Emily scoring the touchdown. Congrats Emily Fields, your kill count just increased from *ONE* to *TWO*!

    Noel decapitated himself with the axe and his head came right off! WTF!!!
    AND THEN NOEL GOT BEHEADED WTFFFF!!! He landed on the axe blade and his head was sliced off in an almost comical fashion. Holy shit, most hysterically gruesome death ever!? I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream as his decapitated bobble head was bopping along on the floor. I mean, you can literally pick up the thing and roll it down a bowling lane! 😆😆😆😱😱😱

    I guess that’s the end of Noel Kahn, huh? Unless they can use superglue to put the decapitated head back with the rest of the body, his character is pretty much dead. It’s sad to mourn the loss of a legendary warrior from Jenna’s Army, but at least he went out in a fucking spectacular way. We salute you, Commander Kahn, and you can rest in peace knowing that your head will be placed on a mantle in the Jenna’s Army Hall of Fame.

    I burst out laughing when Jenna kicked Noel's head with her foot.
    OMG. The best part has gotta be when Jenna walked by and accidentally kicked Noel’s head with her foot. *lmaoooo* Oh Pretty Little Liars, you’re too much. I dare you to look at the image of Jenna kicking Noel’s head around like a soccer ball and then not burst out into uncontrollable laughter. 😆 The only thing that could make this scene funnier is if she picks up the decapitated head, dribbles it like a basketball, and shoots a three-pointer through the hoop. 😆😆😆

    Spencer, before you die, I am your mother.

    Jenna has the pretty little liars scrambling for their lives and cowering in fear
    After Noel’s death, there’re now five pretty little liars squaring off against a blind chick with a gun. Extra emphasis on the *blind* part. You’d think the girls might realize they’ve an obvious advantage and can simply knock the crazy bitch on her ass. Instead, they’re cowering in a corner and fearing for their lives. Not that I really blame them for being scared, would you wanna take on that demonic hellbeast in a direct battle? Um yeah, I don’t think so!

    Jenna: You’re like scared little rats! And you should be!!!

    Goddamn, Jenna is soooo effing hardcore! Every five seconds, she’s either cackling evilly or taunting her enemies with epic death threats. Needless to say, I’m obviously cheering on for our queen. DIE, BITCHES, DIE! YOU PRETTY LITTLE LIARS ARE *NOTHING* AND QUEEN JENNA IS *EVERYTHING*!!!

    OMFG! Jenna shot Spencer with her gun!!!
    The pretty little rats try to scurry away, but those clumsy bitches make a loud ruckus and Jenna immediately opens fire on them! HOLY SHIT. For all she knows, Noel is still alive and she might have shot friendly fire on one of her own allies. Not that she hesitated for a moment, because Queen Jenna just proved there’re no friends on the battlefield. If Noel has to be sacrificed for a chance to kill the pretty little liars, then yeah so be it! 😎

    For those of you who ever doubted Jenna’s gunslinger abilities, she actually managed to hit bullseye. *lol boss* The bullet hit Spencer straight in the chest and caused her boobs to leak with blood. Okay, I don’t think it’s a mere coincidence that Toby and Spencer are both dying in the same episode after they kissed. This is definitely the work of a higher power, delivering karmic justice to those two cheating heffas. #KissOfDeath

    Jenna was gonna end Spencer's life until Mary stopped her at the last possible moment.
    OMFG. Did you see Jenna grinning with fiendish delight as she aimed her gun at Spencer? I told you this bitch was fucking hardcore. *lmao* As if it wasn’t bad enough that she shot her victim once, our queen was ready to shoot thirty more bullets into Spencer, just in case that bitch isn’t dying fast enough for her liking.

    Jenna: Is that you, Spencer? Hiding in the corner? I smell your blood!

    Luckily, Mary’s ghostly spirit appears at that exact moment and comes out of nowhere to save Spencer’s life! Or she saved whatever remains of Spencer’s life, which I’m guessing is about thirty seconds left until she bleeds to death. Why didn’t Mary come out of hiding before Jenna fired the gun? Gurl, if you were here all along, we could’ve really used your help ten minutes ago!

    Help, Spencer is dying from her gunshot wound! She won't live through Season 7B!
    The pretty little liars didn’t even know there’s a soldier down until they did a head count (minus one, if you exclude Noel) and realized Spencer is currently lying in a puddle of her own blood. Sorry girls, but y’all are too late to save your friend! Bring out the coffin! Release the white doves! Because Spencer Hastings is dead! 😵

    Her gunshot wound looks quite serious and the medical pedigree that I obtained from watching years of Grey’s Anatomy has taught me she should be very much dead. However, just remember this is television, this is Pretty Little Liars, and this is the same show that rescued Ezra in spite of a bullet puncturing his vital organs. Just watch, they’ll reveal that Spencer was wearing two bulletproof vests & an iron armour underneath her clothes when PLL gotta explain how she miraculously survived the injury during the 7B premiere.

    OMFG. Mary claims Spencer is her daughter! I AM YOUR MOMMA!
    All of the liars are crying and sobbing boo hoo hoo, while Mary cradles Spencer’s body in her arms and starts singing a lullaby. ? ~Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb that she abandoned and put up for adoption~ ? You’d think it might be more practical to call the ambulance or find a first-aid kit, but it’s also important to do a sing-a-long song and keep your morale up! 😃

    Mary: Spencer, I would never hurt you! I’m your mother!
    Spencer: Oh, what the fu- *dies*

    In the final fleeting moments of Spencer’s dwindling life, Mary decides this is the perfect time to drop a massive truth bomb! *SURPRISE! I’M YOUR MOMMA!* Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt this lovely mother-daughter reunion, but Spencer is kinda dying right now? Maybe not the best time to tell your child that her whole life has been a lie right before she dies?

    Spencer is completely WTF after she was told Mary is her birth mother during the final moments of her life.
    But wow, what a twist! I’ve read some online conspiracy theories about how Mary might be Spencer’s biological mother, but I didn’t think PLL would have the balls to *go there* for real, so consider me shocked! Poor Spencer Drake, imagine finding out that Alison is now your cousin 🙁, Charlotte is now your sister 😦 and Mary is now your mother 😱. Jenna, gimme the gun! Death is suddenly a much better alternative!

    My next question is: “Who’s the baby daddy?” OMG, can you imagine if it was Peter, after he banged the twin sisters and got both of them knocked up with a love child? Bwhahaha, that would be the most fucked up scenario ever, so of course Pretty Little Liars definitely needs to *go there*!

    Welcome to Jenna's Army, A.D.!!!
    If you were wondering what happened to Jenna, rest assured that our queen is being safely transported in a royal carriage. Uber A came to her rescue after watching tonight’s episode and thinking: “let’s join forces because I don’t want you as my enemy!”

    Jenna: Who are you!? Did you shoot Spencer!? *gasps* You’re A.D.!

    Um Jenna, you shot Spencer. You were there and pulled the trigger, remember? Why dis bitch playing dumb and using A as a scapegoat for her own crime? *lol* Anyway, I’m super excited to see these two god-tiered villains cross paths with each other. We welcome you to Jenna’s Army, A.D.! Let’s work together, conquer the world, and most importantly…KILL THOSE BITCHES!!!

    29 Comments

    1. Yay!! You’re back!!! This finale was insane, and there are so many things to talk about, but I think I’m most looking forward to your comments on Nicole being alive!! Lolol serves Aria right for smiling last episode when she thought Nicole was dead!

      • I know, I have so much to talk about! CONTROVERSIAL OPINION, but this Nicole plot is my secret guilty pleasure and I’m enjoying this ridiculous storyline a lot more than I should be. I look forward to Aria forcing herself to smile and clap when she attends Ezra & Nicole’s wedding in 7B, hehehe~

        “older than Lorenzo” = never thought this could ever be possible :O :O :O

    2. It’s so great that you’re back! I look forward to your comments on Mary’s revelation to Spencer. I was incredulously talking to my tv “lady, I don’t think that’s the most appropriate time and place ffs”. Had I been Spencer, I’d just give up the ghost, right then and there, rather than have to be involved even more deeply in the DiLaurentis/Drake bs. Poor kid…as if being awful Melissa’s sister already wasn’t bad enough, now she’s got the whole Charlotte as a sibling trauma to deal with, as well…

      • Queen Mary <3 She's one of those characters who always delivers the lulz every time she makes an appearance. The whole maternity test plot twist is kinda insane and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. We've known Spencer Hastings for seven seasons and all of a sudden we find out she's...Spencer Drake? Sisters with Charlotte? Cousins with Alison? LIKE WUTTTT. You're right, Spencer is better off dead than to live with that type of cray-cray in her DNA. :(

    3. You’re baaaaaaaaack!
      This episode was hilarious. I laughed out loud several times, as did my poor boyfriend who always has to watch PLL when he cannot make a better suggestion. (Who’s the ultimate couple here now?!)

      I have to say, I’m glad that Haleb are back together, although I could have done without the sex scene that’s stealing screen time away from the actual plot, if such a thing still exists on PLL. Caleb is apparently only the best boyfriend ever when he’s Hanna’s boyfriend, and I choose to ignore Spaleb just as much as Ravenswood. (Not that I didn’t love Spaleb at first. Before things got all dramatic.) Someone on the PLL Subreddit pointed out how Haleb sexed it up in Lukas’ apartment and wouldn’t he see that on his Hanna shower cams? What’s your opinion on this?

      Also, while I generally find Aria really selfish, I can somehow feel for her. After years of being groomed by her high school English teacher, how can she go out and find another man? I also think that the jungle must have been less traumatic than being in a relationship with Ezra (especially when the jungle has a beauty salon), so Nicole seems like the winner here.

      • The finale was very eventful and entertaining! I loved every moment of it~ ^_^

        Haleb: I wish I could unsee the past twenty episodes and go back to stanning this couple, but I just *can’t* get there with them right now. One thing I’m certain about is that I don’t wanna watch any more Haleb drama in 7B, they’ve had too much to fill up an entire lifetime. Just let them be happy and have cute low-key couple moments, that’s it.

        As for Lucas spying on the Haleb sex, I actually never considered this possibility! But now that you mentioned it…hmm, lemme put myself in his shoes. Watching Hanna have sex with another guy on a hidden camera is probably *the* closest that Lucas will get to having a sexual experience, so he should be ecstatic. I’m guessing he must’ve watched the footage countless times and even tried to digitally alter the tapes to crop Caleb out of the picture.

        I kinda feel bad for Aria to a certain extent, but she lost all sympathy with me after choosing Ezra over Jason “Jesus” DiLaurentis – excuse me, how could one make such a terrible life decision, you have nobody but yourself to blame for the mess you’re in right now. As for Nicole, I’m happy that she’s alive and I like her enough not to inflict Ezra upon her character. Run back into the jungle while you still can, girl!

    4. This episode was super awesome and when Noel died I was so confused between LMAO and/or NASTY AF.

      I thoroughly enjoyed your recap, please do the previous Season 7 episodes!

      I’m pretty sure Jenna missed when she shot, because right after that we hear Spencer shout “NO!” and then there was a 2nd gunshot (which was presumably A.D. and the bullet that actually wounded Spencer). So in the end Jenna was about as accurate as expected!

      • Noel’s death was so hysterically morbid. When his head first fell off, I was horrified, then I laughed, then I was horrified that I laughed. <3

        Yes, I'm definitely gonna do the Season 6 and Season 7 recaps with the goal of finishing them this year. (12 recaps in 3 months is doable for me, I think). My goal is to do one PLL recap per week. I'm gonna work on the 7x04 recap in a few days~

        And here I thought Jenna was so boss killing Spencer without even seeing her. *lol* Just think if Jenna managed to hit her shot and A.D. still fired a second shot anyway, we could have two dead liars instead of one. <3

    5. Yes I was looking forward to this recap! I loved the episode. I predicted Mary being Spencer’s mother at the beginning of the season, but then I thought pll was trying to trick the audience. Peter Hastings has some explaining to do. I think either he knocked up multiple women at the same time or there was some kind of weird mental patient surrogate thing going on if Veronica couldn’t carry her own child. I mean, would that really be that much more far-fetched than Alison being unknowingly impregnated with Emily’s stolen eggs? I didn’t think pll would go there either lmao, but I’m 75% sure the baby is Emily’s.

      Here’s my thoughts on the Jenna/Noel part: (1) why does this place look like it was abandoned in the 1950s instead of 2009? (2) lol at Noel falling DIRECTLY onto the axe and his head somehow rolling down the stairs (3) I don’t blame the plls for being scared of Jenna even though she’s blind. I would be scared if I saw Jenna in broad daylight. Being in a dark house with her as she carries a gun and cackles would be utterly terrifying

      Anyway, great job as always :) I can’t believe the show is coming to an end

      • MY THEORY: Mary did a twin switcheroo and pretended to be Jessica, then she seduced Peter who was too horny to notice the difference. Peter’s sperm must have super fertility effects on the Drake women, so he manages to impregnate Mary in one shot as well. (As much as I *love* the idea of a mental patient surrogate, I can’t imagine a scenario where Veronica would ask Mary out of all the possible surrogates in the world.)

        I haven’t read any spoilers, but I’m 100% certain the bun in Alison’s oven belongs to Emily because I know that’s how Pretty Little Liars operate. *lol*

        (1) I KNOW. It’s surprisingly abandoned and run-down considering the place was still in operation a couple of years ago? Once again, it must be Jenna’s doing. She can use her witchly powers to turn a thriving house into a haunted hellhole overnight. (2) lololololololol (3) Exactly, they better be damn scared! Personally, I wouldn’t be afraid tho. As a loyal member of Jenna’s Army, I’d be running up to our queen, giving her directions, and helping her with her aim.

        Thank you for reading! :) I still can’t get over the shock that there are only ten episodes left! I feel like such a large part of my life is ending. ;_;

    6. Omg I just realized that if Peter is Spencer’s father than that means Spencer and Jason are siblings AND cousins. Lol this is all so twisted and I love it!! Peter should be Charlotte’s father too because they would just make it all so twisted and perfect.

      • If Jason and Spencer finally make out with each other in 7B, it would also mean he’s committing both incest AND cousincest at the same time. Like killing two birds with one stone.

        We also need a plot twist where it’s revealed that Melissa isn’t Veronica’s biological daughter either. Instead, she was the love child between Peter and a third DiLaurentis/Drake triplet yet to be introduced on the show.

    7. Will you be recapping the rest of 7A next? *crosses fingers* Because I think we all want RE’s thoughts on Jesus Jason and #Jaria. :o You need to make a Jason Pokémon!!

    8. Can I just say that Mary Drake is a huge effing mess? Like woman, get it together. Putting kids up for adoption left and right? Gosh. At this point, i’m scared to think what the DiLaurentis family tree looks like.

    9. While it usually irks me when people blame the whole Wren thing on a then 15-year-old Spencer, I now really want to see her going after Ezra just for the lulz and to finally get rid of Ezria if Nicole cannot (and I bet she cannot.)

    10. My thumbdrive for your camera? They could’ve just copied over the damn files to a computer, or another USB or something. WTF? Why does it feel like the ZOMG the thumbdrive is gone moment could’ve been avoided?

    11. Lol, I love how the school has a room for learning to take care of babies ( this is your life now children you will either get pregnant or babysit Drake style) and the murder axe room to teach the proper way to kill next door (guess Noel should have taken this class). Also, when Noel’s head rolled, I kinda wanted Emily to go over, pick it up, and be like, “it’s ok guys. It’s fake” (like the dirty hotel scene) then take off its face to have a masked baby mannequin (courtesy of upstairs and fake Hannah death). Love your Arecap Deverythings by the way

    12. ¿ me sequiiste ? se supone que no dedo salir de mi casa pero tenia que venir a despedime las chicas para la que si esta muerta de verdad no puedo sequir siendo esa persona mona se que me odiabas y queiras que me fuese directa al infierno. ir alli es facil. es volver lo que es facil pero tu. yo nosotras nos enfendemos muldanmerte te necesito mona como amiga la verdad te enfernaria en un instante. en caso de que te lo preguntariras. esa fui yo, yo envie ese mensaje suponpo que dedi hacerlo firmando con mi nombre porque y ya no tengo que fingir ser otra persona yo no tengo que esconderme tu si y vas a desear haberte mantienido muerta

    13. I think it’s pretty obvious that whoever wrote this has some crappy bias against Paige but even so, you don’t gotta straight up lie and make up shit about her. She only said Emily was her girlfriend when saying she was her friend didn’t persuade the guards to let her in. And she isn’t trying to put the moves on Emily, Emily’s the one going to her and reaching out and forgetting she has a ‘girlfriend’. Paige is always supportive of Emily and this was just another instance where she’s putting aside what she wants to be there for Emily and Emily’s taking advantage of that to get closer to Paige. Alison is getting jealous but only because she knows that Emily doesn’t really give a shit about anybody but Paige and if she gets with her then Alison’s ability to manipulate her will be jeopardized and she really needs to hold onto Em as a last resort. Also why doesn’t Paige get a freaking “choose your pokemon” style avatar at this comment thingy here? I’m pretty sure she got more screen time than Jenna and she was definitely alive more than Alison and a better bedbuddy than those three assholes.

    14. ” auxilo, estoy en la iglesisa no me asustas. mona tu ya no eres tan buena mentirosa como solias ser se que toda ustedes estaban en nueva york la noche que Shana fue asesinada y puedo probarlo ¿ que quieres mona ? lo que siempre quise que te vaya de la cuidad no me inporta a donde va a como lleques alli quiero que te vaya no soy una amenaza para ti quizas has convencido a hanna y a las otras que ha cambiando y quizas estas tratando de ser una persona descente pero mucho tiempo las persona puede cambiar cuando alquien me muestra coomo son les creo no necesito que me lo muestren mas de una vez repentinamente ¿ eres victima de que MONA ? ¿ mi bullying ? ¿ como llamas lo que le hiciste a esas chicas casi matas a hanna nadie se siente peor por eso que yo pero estoy mejor ahora incluso los doctores lo dicen no te creeo si pudieras probar que estabamos en nueva york ya lo habrias enviando ya regrese y me quedare asi que acostumbrate a eso nadie te quiere aqui te equivocas mona justo como antes todo quieres ser mi amigp y eso es de lo que tiene miedo todo lo que tuve que hacer es decir ” siento ” a Cndy y mindy y practicamente estuvieron rogandome para sentarme en el almuerzo con ellas tiene miedo porque sabes que no va a tomarme mucho tiempo destruir tu ejercito perdedores te converti en mona perdedora una voz y sabe que puedo hacerlo de nuevo no tenermos que hacer esto, dejame sola

    15. donde encontro tu madre la bolsa de la compra aqui. pero obviamente, ya no esta oye Em. ¿ como llamaba el restaurente al que llamaste ? – mamm Gabus ” s ¿ por que ? – agarra tu tablet mira esto ¿ cree que Alison ha estado escondiendose ahi ? no. pero quiza signifique algo para ella tengo una idea es la direccion electronica del sobre estoy intentando meterme en la cuenta funciono Mamma Gabusi era la contraseña – ¿ ahora que ? – estoy enviando un mensaje Alison, llamame. tenemos que hablas estas’ en peligro. Em – ¿ ahora que ? – esperando – ¿ donde has estado ¿ – estaba con mi madre ? – ¿ donde esta Spencer – pensabamos que estaba contigo – esta bloqueado – contetalo ¿ hola ? – ¿ como has encontrado ? de acuerdo, Alison, la policia sabe que no eres tu – ¿ que – enterrada. saben que no eres tu Alison, ¿ tu madre lo sabe ? no, no hable con mi madre ¿ de acuerdo ? ella no puede saber nada mira, queremos ayudarte, pero tienes que decirmos que ocurrio aquella noche entonces tiene que vernir aqui y tiene que darse prisa

    16. ¿ hola ? ¡ hay alquien agui ? ¿ me estas siquiendo ? tengo un mensaje para ti – ¿ un mensaje ? ¿ de quien ? – Alison esta muerta ¿ no es lo que le dijiste a Spencer en el hospital ? ambas sabemos que no es verdad ella quiere que deje de buscarla es muy peligroso. casi haces que la maten anoche en el bar ¿ por que deberia creer algo de lo tienes que decir ? – tu no conocia a Alison – escucha, emily… la concozco desde que tenia tres años. creci como vecina de sus abuelos de Georgia si conocieses a Alison no seria amiga de jenna Alison me pido que viniese a rosewood para ayudarla a descubir quien intento matarla jenna estaba en la lista manten a tus amigos cerca y mas a tus enemigos si realtmente esta hablando con ella demuestralo

    17. le dije a shanna que avariquara lo que me digo Alison cuando me saco de la cabaña ¿ cuando buscabamos al doctor sulivan ? ¿ que te digo Alison es algo que quiero mantener entre nosotras bueno. shanna obviamente esta mintiendo quiero decir Alison nunca menciono su nombre habia monton de gente en la vida de Alison de la que no sabemos nada. espero. ¿ shanna conocio a paige primero ? entonces. ¿ estamos diciendo que paige esta en la lista de Alison tambien no es quiza incluso si fuesen amigas. ¿ por que Alison confiaria mas de shanna que en nostras ? – eramos sus mejores amigas – ¿ lo has olvidado ? alquien ha estado atometandonos durante años. haciendo nuestra vida miserables un mensaje cada vez

    18. creo que shanna es quien siempre pensando que era uno de los sacuaces de ” A ” y asi A quiere que paremos de buscar a Alison deber signficar que no fue herida la otra noche entonces, ” A ” quieres hacermos creer la historia de shanna para dejar a buscar a A y que pueda encotrarla vamos em no creeras realmente que shanna se mudo desde Georgia para poder atrapar a la persona que intento matar a su amigo de la infancia. ¿ verdad ? Aliso podia hacer que alquien la quisiera suficiente para esto

    19. Alison digo que tu era a la que mas echada de menos tu era su favorita nadie la quiso tanto como tu te digo una eleccion quedarte o irte con ella ante de irte, ella te beso ¿ donde esta ? ¿ donde esta ? Alison nunca se. ella siempre en movimiento. ella. esta em encuentra ¿ desde cuanto sabes que ella esta viva ? desde que mona fue a radley ¿ lo has sabido todo este tiempo ? ¿ porque ella… vino a ti ? ella quiere quedar contigo Emily esta noche pero tiene que ir sola esa es la unica manera que va a ser seguro ¿ por que yo ? creo que realmente era tu favorita

    20. hable con un amigo de la fuerza esta noche la mancha de sangre que al encotraron en ese sueter… en lo de toby cavanaugh fue una conicidencia positiva no creo que esa chico este por ahi mucho tiempo mas para asustarte. ¿ es la sangre de Alison ? ¿ eso significa que todo termino ? ¿ no van a investigar a nadie mas ? pense que estarias aliviada no te quedes hasta muy tarde, ¿ de acuerdo ?
      ¿ dio mio ?, las extrañe tanto chicas ¿ por que estas tan broneada ? sentada en el departamento de tu abuela pense que ella estaba portrada en cama, en una cueva. eso no significa que yo lo haya estado entonces, ¿ sique en pie lo esta noche, damas totalmente. la mama de Spencer digo que podiamos usar el establo. si. pero puede que haya una gran tormenta esta noche, asi que no es si es la ultima salida antes de que empie el colegio hanna no me desanimes ¿ alguna de ustedes puede tomar esos ? mis brazon esta realmente doloridos – si – por que ¿ tuviste que le levantar a tu abuela y bañarla si. fue realmente desagradable ¿ fuiste al hilton head ? si. nana tenia un dia libre y le encanta el golf no pregunten ¿ quien a cargo de las bebidas ? hanna robo una botellas de tequila genial buen trabajo, hanna aferrate a esos sueteres holgados ¿ el Hiton head no esta en carolina del sur pense que tu abuela vivia en Georgia sique siendo de sur, Spencer ¿ por que tantas preguntas chicas, tenemos una larga noche por delante no puedo escupir cada detalle apenas pongo un pie en la verada espere espere espere Spencer no olvides apagar las del patio, ¿ si ?

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