Season 1, Underemployed Recap – First Impressions

MTV has a new scripted series called Underemployed that I’m pretty sure you didn’t bother to watch, so let me describe the first six episodes for you!

Has anyone heard of a new TV show called Underemployed? I know some of you are thinking: “Oh my god, this weirdo is now writing recaps for shows that don’t actually exist…” but I swear to god it’s not just a figment of my imagination. This IS a real show even though nobody watches it. Unfortunately, most TV critics were like *lolflop* after watching the premiere and never paid attention to it again. And then, most of MTV’s core audience took one look at the show and went like “wtf why aren’t these characters in high school!? NOT WATCHING.” So now, the only people still following Underemployed are the friends and family of the cast members. Plus me, who accidentally stumbled upon the show while I was looking up the IMDB profile of the actor who played Spencer’s boyfriend on Pretty Little Liars. (Cool story, bro!)

Here at Recap Everything, my mission statement is to champion underdog television shows that won’t survive to see a second season, so let me promote the shit out of this show while it’s still on the air. Because I’m almost certain my single digit readership will be the ~*deciding factor*~ that determines the life and death of the show!

Yeah sure, the plot is full of clichés and the characters are tres annoying and the actors are a bunch of nobodies and I can point out an infinity of flaws with the show. BUT idk idk, I kinda enjoy watching this drama and think it deserves a little bit more recognition. What I’m trying to say is this show ain’t a steaming pile of shit, which is a rarity from the MTV network, so more people should give it a chance. Convinced yet? I hope my glowing words of endorsement are bringing in waves of new viewers so far.

Underemployed follows a group of underachieving twenty-somethings who thought they were HOT SHIT after graduating from college. However, all of them failed hard and accomplished nothing with their lives. Every episode is about how they flounder around aimlessly with their work problems or their family issues or their relationship woes. Since this is a MTV show, it’s a given that everyone ends up having BUCKETLOADS OF SEX, but these oversexed losers also get into zany workplace escapades every now and then.

I know this doesn’t sound like a very interesting or original premise, but imagine something like “The Breakfast Club goes past graduation”. That might give you an idea what to expect from Underemployed.

Meet Louis (aka. “Lou”). Lou is an overgrown manchild who didn’t get into grad school after college, so now he spends his days playing video games and acting like a dude. Meet his girlfriend, Raviva (aka. “Viv”). Raviva is an aspiring singer who dreamt of record deals and touring across the country with her groovy music. Go on, take one guess at how that career panned out.

At the start of the series, Lou and Raviva broke up because they both believed they can do better than *each other*.

Raviva: I can’t help but think…
Lou: …there’s a better fit out there?
Raviva: Yeah, there must be. Right? I mean, this is what adults do. They break up. We’re being adults.
Lou: *agrees* Totally being adults.
*both have farewell sex with each other to indie background music*

Yeah, did I mention the writing is pretty crap? *lol* I’ll stop transcribing the scene so you can stop cringing.

BUT THEN TWIST!!! One year later, Raviva shows up in front of her ex-boyfriend’s doorstep, going like “GUESS WHO DECIDED TO BE PRO-LIFE AFTER ALL? ^_^” And Lou just stares at his baby mama with a stunned deer-in-the-headlights expression. Eventually, he goes like “…….oh fuck me. V_V”

Lou’s initial reaction was along the lines of “UGH I GUESS I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE CARE OF THIS BAGGAGE D:” and “WAIT IS THIS BABY EVEN MINE, YA BIG SLUT MCGEE?” which is perhaps not the most *sensitive* thing to say to a hormonal woman carrying your child. On the bright side, at least Lou didn’t strike out and ask “IS IT TOO LATE FOR YOU TO GET AN ABORTION? JUST CHECKING.” So I guess he didn’t reach his full potential in the jackass meter.

As expected, Raviva throws a *major bitch fit* after her boyfriend prodded her in the clumsiest interrogation ever. Lou was basically like “How many other dudes have scrambled your eggs after we broke up? Please round up to the nearest hundred…” and Raviva was like =O

Raviva: Lou, are you asking me if it’s yours? You’ve kinda done it twice…
Lou: No, Raviva, I am OFFENDED!
Raviva: Oh my god, I want you out of here.
Lou: What!? Viv, I’m trying to make this work!!!
Raviva: It sure feels like work, congratulations! Oh, I’m sorry, I have a conference call with ALL THE GUYS I HAD SEX WITH IN L.A!!! *slams door*

By the way, I’m not sure what they put underneath Raviva’s wardrobe, but her baby bump is so hilariously oversized. She looks like she’s carrying a DINOSAUR EGG in her belly.

The surprise pregnancy finally motivated Lou to get off his ass and find a real job to support his family. He goes through a series of unsuccessful job interviews, until he agrees to work a menial office job at his father’s company.

Lou: Dad, I need a job. Raviva is pregnant. =(
Papa Lou: You stupid son of a bitch. =(

When the baby launches out of Raviva’s battle cannon, Lou finally decides to act like a decent boyfriend for the first time this episode. He gushes over the two of them, going like: “omg i luv u bb & i love our bb. imma sorry about everyfin & i promise to be the bestest family man evah.” Raviva forgives him because they will have the rest of the season to drag out their fucked up ~*relationship drama*~.

Trust me, the whole Louviva relationship is TRAINWRECK CENTRAL NINE O’CLOCK. In the second episode, Raviva moved into her boyfriend’s apartment with their baby daughter. The place is unequipped with baby stuff, so she makes a reasonable request and asks if Lou can take a day off work to help his new family settle in.


Really, Lou? You can’t take a half-day off work right after your daughter was born? Never mind that your boss is your father, who also happens to be that baby’s grandpapa. And let’s not pretend Lou is some big shot at the company who makes all the decisions. He’s a cubicle worker who started his job three days ago! What oh-so-important contributions could he possibly bring to the company that prevents him from missing a single day of work!?

If he was actually productive in the workplace, I might be more understanding. What pisses me off is that he spent his work time phoning up his friends, talking about how he’s forced away from his family! Oh geebus. Somebody please smack a good fistful of righteousness into this douche. -_-”

Lou has a ~*change of heart*~ after abandoning his baby and his baby mama, so he enlists his friends to take care of Raviva on his behalf. For some bizarre reason, he decides that they have to keep everything a SECRET. I guess he didn’t want Raviva to know that she has friends who are helpful and supportive of her? IDK. The poor girl spends the entire episode in emotional distress, thinking that nobody cares about her. I’m not too familiar with how postpartum depression works, but Lou is doing a pretty good job at making it happen!

At the end of the episode, all of her friends were like “SURPRISE! WE ONLY PRETENDED TO NEGLECT YOU BECAUSE WE WERE TOO BUSY BUYING YOU THIS BABY CRAP! :D” At this point, Raviva is so relieved that she isn’t going to be one of those single mommies who end up on a TLC documentary special, so she forgives Lou for his numerous fuck-ups once again. (Are we seeing a pattern yet?)

In case you can’t tell, I hate Lou’s character with a fiery passion. Every episode, I struggle to find any redeeming qualities about him. His immaturity. His insensitivity. His spinelessness. His vacant expression. His dead eyes. I know many fans dislike Raviva for being such a ginormous moody bitch, but being together with Lou would drive me absolutely postal too. He’s just such a… putz.

The only time I actually liked Lou’s character is when he played video games with his baby daughter. Okay, that scene was *adorable* even for my black jaded heart.

In another episode, Lou gets super aggro at his girlfriend for overspending money because Raviva bought ten extra dollars of gourmet coffee. She basically bitched him out afterwards, going like: “wtf your dad is the CEO of a massive corporation! We are NOT poor! =O”. And Lou was like “o ya~ *shrugs* Blame those silly writers for manufacturing drama between a bunch of spoiled rich kids.” And then he goes off to buy out the entire coffee shop to make it up to her or whatever.

Oh wait, guess what else Raviva picked up at the coffee shop! ;)

While her husband is away at work, this little hussy has been going on coffee dates with another dude. The show basically created Jamel’s character to be the perfect match for Raviva (i.e. he loves music, he listens to her inane babbling, he doesn’t mind her baby baggage). And to be honest, he actually brings out the best in her personality. Raviva is soooo aggressively annoying in most of her scenes, but she *sings* and *laughs* and *chills the fuck out* whenever she’s around Jamel, so their scenes are pretty enjoyable to watch.

Raviva claims that she’s only meeting up with Jamel because she’s lonely and she needs a new “friend”, but yeah…friends don’t do that to each other, missy. Instead of cutting all ties with this potential homewrecker, she gives him the gentlest of reprimands afterwards: “Hehe Jamel. *twirls hair* Can you, like, maybe perhaps possibly not kiss me the next time we meet? Only if you don’t mind though. =)” And then Jemal is like “Oh sorry. *puts on lip gloss*”

Their real conversation is actually funnier, because Jemal has the nerve to play dumb and pretend that he doesn’t know what Raviva is talking about at first. I can’t explain why, but seeing a glimpse of his Machiavellian side makes me like his character more.

Raviva: We can’t do that again, Jemal.
Jemal: Can’t do what again? *raises eyebrows* Hang out?
Raviva: Hang out in such a way that you end up kissing me. *shoots him a look*
Jemal: ……okay.
Raviva: I have a baby and a boyfriend. Don’t hate me, okay?

Oh my god, this couple…I can’t even. *lol* We are six episodes into the series and both of them are cheating on each other hardcore. At least I can believe that Raviva forged a genuine connection with Jemal before they kissed. Lou just opts for a cheap office fling with some trashy homewrecking blonde at his workplace.

I do love his reaction afterwards though. Lou pulls his head back and simply utters “…oh.” with the dumbest expression on his face. You can visibly see his character thinking: “Oh, I’m not supposed to kiss her, am I? Whoops.”

I also love Raviva’s expression when she was first introduced to Lou’s hot blonde co-worker Becca. You can literally see her eyes *widening* and *narrowing* in suspicion as she sniffs out the homewrecking skank.

Raviva: What do you do?
Becca: I am Lou’s dad’s assistant.
Raviva: Very cool.

Becca: And what do you do?
Raviva: I stay at home with our baby and write songs.
Becca: Very cool.
(Translation: Not a threat. I can snag her man, no problem.)

Becca and Raviva didn’t exchange a lot of words, but there was SO MUCH tension in their conversation as they tried to suss out the competition. It was pretty ~awesome~ to watch.

Well, I had enough restraint to withhold the shirtless screenshots until this point of the recap, but MTV wasted no time ordering the two male leads to hit the gym and show off their bods. In case you were wondering, both guys had their shirtless scene within the first three minutes of the premiere, which is on par with the network’s average for gratuitous skin exploitation. It’s almost as if Underemployed knew the viewers would tune out before the first commercial break, so their mentality was evidently: “QUICK!!! STRIP OFF BEFORE THEY LOSE INTEREST ALREADY!!! =O”

(And oh my god, are those the worst arm tattoos ever or what!? Hello, Dax Shepard called – he wants that title back!)

Anyway, meet Miles. Lou’s roommate and #bestbros4lyfe. Miles is an aspiring MACTOR with dreams of modelling for Calvin Klein underwear one day. (Recap Everything approves of this amazing life goal.) In the meantime, he’s working as a waiter, caterer & stripper while he waits for his big break.

And yes, you might remember the actor, Diego Boneta, as Spencer’s boyfriend for a few random episodes on Pretty Little Liars. His role here is definitely more prominent in importance and airtime, although switching from ABC Family to MTV is like jumping from one shithole straight into another. =(

Miles is like your typical dude with his porn, his video games, and his rotating door of bedroom companions. Ever since Raviva moved into the apartment, she constantly clashed with Miles over his living habits. Finally, Raviva got so fed up that she decides to *nag* him into submission. In one episode, she kept telling him to turn down the TV volume…even though the remote control was literally five steps away from her…until her nagging annoyed him so much that Miles SNAPPED and TOLD OFF that bitch.

(Meanwhile, look at Lou just standing there in the background, not getting involved in a battle between his bro and his ho. La dee la~)

Raviva: What!? I never said you couldn’t have sex!
Miles: No, you let him say that for you!
Raviva: No I didn’t! Miles, that was your friend over here who didn’t want you screwing where his daughter can hear it!

It turns out Lou also felt quite annoyed with his roommate, since he’s kinda turning their family home into a busy little brothel. *lol* After hearing their concerns, Miles goes like “Ok, I can get the hint when I’m not wanted somewhere… :*(” so he does the mature thing and moves out of the apartment to make room for the couple.

At the end of the episode, Raviva rubs salt onto his wounds by telling him, “Aw Miles, you don’t really have to move out! *sly smile*”, even though they just had a massive argument over this and made their friend feel as unwelcomed & unwanted as possible. Personally, I would move out if I was Miles too, because Lou and Raviva seem like unbearable twats to live with, but that’s just me. *shrugs*

Meet Daphne, the new roommate! I’m not sure how many roommates sleep in the same bed & take showers in front of each other, but yeah they have that type of relationship. It sure looks like they are friends with benefits, and Miles is obviously smitten with her, although Daphne is a bit of a cocktease who would never go *there* with him. Not wanting to jeopardize their precious platonic friendship and all that jazz.

What you need to know about Daphne is that she lives her life like the heroine of a modern romantic comedy, and I say that because how can anyone make such terrible life decisions outside of a scripted drama? She constantly does things that makes you go OHHHHH GIRL. *knowing look*

In the premiere, Daphne gets into a casual flirty fling with her boss. (OHHHHH GIRL) She even quits her job which means they can date together in the open. (OHHHHH GIRL) But he refuses to get into a relationship with her. Because he’s unwilling to break up with his current girlfriend. (There’s the kicker. OHHHHH GIRL. *knowing look*)

Todd: I have a girlfriend. I’m sorry.
Daphne: *stunned* It’s okay. Drop her.
Todd: I can’t. This isn’t any easier for me than it is for you.
Daphne: Oh really? It seems pretty easy. It seems really easy. Oh, you know what seems really easy? The other day in the parking structure with my face in your 2(x)ist boy panties!!!

In the end, she managed to blackmail her boss and get a salary raise out of this affair, so good for her I guess?

Unfortunately, Daphne continues to be all *flirty eyes* *throws hair back* & *seductive laugh*, so she has this weird on-and-off relationship with her boss Todd.

1.) He hooked up with her in the premiere, but they break up because the sleazebag already had a girlfriend.
2.) But then he dumped said girlfriend just so he can hook up with Daphne.
3.) But then Daphne broke up with Todd in the next episode, because she didn’t want it to affect her career.

And they spend the rest of the series in this tedious hook-up/break-up purgatory that’s more infuriating than cute to watch.

Eventually, Daphne gets a harsh lecture from her BOSS BOSS about office relationships. Although the speech might have shifted the women’s movement back by at least 50 years, I thought this smackdown was epic in its delivery.

Deb: I don’t care what you and Todd do outside this office, but you need to think long and hard about what you want. I mean, do you want a career that other women respect or not? If you go any further down this road with Todd, it may not break any rules in HR per se, but everyone is gonna know what’s going on. Okay, and not any one of those bitches in this office are gonna take you seriously. I know you think the men are the ones in charge, but they are not the ones who will stop you. They will let you slut your way up to the top. It’s the women. They will stop you.

Daphne was on her best behaviour in the next couple of episodes, as she tries to act like a Young Professional Businesswoman. Luckily, she landed a great career opportunity after impressing a client during her marketing pitch. *omggasp* I know it’s hard to believe this, but you can actually get ahead in your career without having to resort to sexual advances for your boss! Who knew!?

…erm, and then this happened. Daphne’s client turned out to be a raging bisexual beast who spent an entire episode trying to sleep with her and/or Miles. *lolwut* Oh, don’t act like you wouldn’t!

Miles was chosen to be the spokesperson in Daphne’s marketing campaign. He’s rather excited about the gig, being all “OH YAYSIES~ Now we can be besties at work too! This is gonna be fun, Daphne-poo! :D” Unfortch, she can already foresee the upcoming storylines in the future, and this working relationship has so much potential to go terribly, terribly, terribly wrong.

Daphne: I just don’t ever want to be in a position where I’m caught between you and my job.

…which means that it is TOTALLY gonna happen in a future episode, y’all.

And finally, let’s meet Sophia! She’s an adorable brainy azn chick who aspires to be a novelist, but suffers from a huge case of writer’s block and ends up working at a kinky fetish donut shop instead. Sophia began the show as a squeaky clean virgin, but of course this is MTV that we are talking about, so the sex-obsessed network made sure that her cherry gets popped as early as possible.

Actually, “popping her cherry” is a misnomer in Sophia’s case. Let’s just say she gets her donut smeared with jam and jelly by the end of the first episode. ;D

HULLO THERE, SOPHIA’S LADY FRIEND~~~ Yup, the big twist in her story is that Sophia has a sexual awakening in the premiere and suddenly discovers that she’s into chicks. Conveniently enough, a wealthy lesbo lawyer appears at the right time to sweep Sophia off her feet. And a few drinks later, the two of them end up scissoring in between the sheets.

In the next episode, Sophia coyly tells Daphne that she lost her virginity to a mystery stranger, but makes her friend promise to keep it a secret. Of course, Daphne immediately begins every conversation with “OMG U GUISE SOPHIA GOT LAID!!! UR THOUGHTS???” Later on, she actually had the audacity to say that she was “not trying to gossip” which… *lol* I don’t know how else to describe what the bitch was doing.

Afterwards, Sophia has a MAJOR EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN ;A; (spoiler alert: the first of many in this series) because her best friend betrayed her trust and nobody understands the agony she’s going through and life is so hard for her and *sobbing*. Daphne apologizes profusely, while Miles says something like “It’s ok, Sophia! We all knew your secret already! ^_^” I don’t know if Miles thought he was trying to help by saying that, but bless him for adding more oil to the fire.

Eventually, Sophia comes out to her circle of friends and everybody pats themselves on the backs for being so accepting and loving and liberal-minded about her sexuality. Daphne is the only one who gets up and hugs Sophia after her brave admission. The other three just sit there with a smug entitled look on their faces, probably thinking: “Ooh yeah, we have a Token Asian Lesbian in the cast, our show is *so* diverse~~~”

Sophia experiences a sudden epiphany that she might not be 100% lesbian because she never tasted dique before, so don’t diss it until you’ve tried it sistah! She asks Miles to have some experimental sex with her, but spends the entire night going “ew penis lol” and nothing gets accomplished other than a few emasculating quips at his expense.

Sophia: *peers down* Whoa, he’s…
Miles: *smugly* Big?
Sophia: No! He’s funny…
Miles: Funny!?
Sophia: Like…like a bike tire.
Miles: Like a…BIG…bike tire???

When Sophia’s parents come to town, she asks Miles to be her beard because she isn’t ready to come out to mama and papa yet. Miles plays along, treating this as another ~*acting exercise*~, until he took things too far and suddenly announced that they got *engaged* for the random lulz. (You can see why Daphne didn’t want the dude in her ad campaign, right?)

The irony here is that Sophia’s parents always thought MILES was the gay one in question. They are somehow under the belief that their daughter “cured” him of his homosexuality, praise the lord~~~

I don’t know what was going through Sophia’s head at the moment, but apparently she thought this was the PERFECT OPENING to come out to her parents after they just finished condemning the gae. Her coming out speech was most notable for Sophia’s enunciation of the word, so that it sounded like she was saying “I AM A LEZPEON =0” as if it’s some kind of newly discovered reptile species.

Sophia soon discovers that she miscalculated her parents’ homotolerance levels by a long shot, so she wasn’t prepared for their abhorrent reaction to her lesbianism. She was genuinely shocked and blindsided after hearing their bile about her “unproductive lifestyle”. This leads to another MAJOR EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN ;A; as Sophia’s parents pretty much disown their daughter on the spot.

Sophia: Don’t adoptive parents have to be cooler about things like this? *sobs* There should be a rule where if you go across the globe and buy a baby and drag it back home with you, you have to accept it no matter what it turns out to be. *sniffles* I feel like an orphan.

Aww Sophia. It is kinda odd that she had no idea of how her parents feel about the gaes, especially considering they were SO heavy-handed with their religious babble. I guess it doesn’t make the rejection easier either way. However, I’m sure her parents will get their redemption story arc if the show isn’t cancelled until then. SO STAY STRONG GURL~~~

Meanwhile, Sophia literally has an “unproductive lifestyle” as she quits her job and becomes a full-time slacker. Since she can’t afford to buy crap without her parents’ money, her rich girlfriend was like IMMA BUY MAH BITCH A MOBILE PHONE. Unfortunately, Sophia makes a mountain out of a molehill with this present, because she thinks her sugar mama is too controlling or too wealthy or too whatever.

Sophia: You’re such a safe place for me, Laura. I mean, you give me everything. You pay for everything. I drop my frigging phone in the toilet and you get me a new one. I need to grow up!

What a crap excuse to break up with somebody, amirite? “My girlfriend buys me too many expensive parents, oh boo hoo hoo. =(” SEE, THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS~

Laura: Was there somebody else?
Sophia: Yeah, me.

BLATANT LIE. The real reason why Sophia broke up with her sugar mama is because she met some indie lesbo bartender, who’s admittedly a better match for a whitewashed hipster like Sophia.

And then they make out inside a confined washroom space, so that’s always a good place to start a stable long-term relationship. Oh yeah, this sure looks like a beautiful love story in the making. *sideeye*

ANYWHO~ that’s pretty much the recap for the first six episodes of Underemployed. There were actually a lot more small funny endearing moments that I didn’t write about, but those scenes really make up the heart and soul of the show. Overall, I really enjoyed watching this series and it gets Recap Everything’s *official stamp of approval*. I’m not hopeful that it will live to see another season though, but let’s see if MTV will scrap one of their flop reality shows and make room for this little entertaining gem instead.

6 Responses

  1. Default avatar Charle November 30th, 2012 / Friday

    Pretty sure I just found my new favorite site. :) I think I’m gonna like it here.

  2. Default avatar Nic December 3rd, 2012 / Monday

    “I know some of you are thinking: ‘Oh my god, this weirdo is now writing recaps for shows that don’t actually exist…” So, you can predict EXACTLY what we are thinking, and yet, I realize, we have NO CLUE as to what you are going to say next! Of all the shows I might have guessed you would recap, Underemployed was dead last right after Dora the Explorer.

  3. Default avatar Aria Eyes December 24th, 2012 / Monday

    These are the best and I LOVE your recaps!

  4. Default avatar saf April 3rd, 2013 / Wednesday

    I loved the serie, but am wondering is there gonna be other episodes soon?

    • Default avatar Recap Everything April 11th, 2013 / Thursday

      I finished the series, but oh my gawk the last few episodes took a seriously shitty nosedive in quality? *cringe* If there’s still demand to read the second half of the recap, then I might put something together?

  5. Default avatar Francesca August 5th, 2014 / Tuesday

    I really really need to know whether Daphne decides to head over to Paris or not … but now … they’ve cancelled the series … WHY PEOPLE WHYYYYYY ç_ç

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