|Meet Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), a police sheriff who wakes up from a coma only to find the world is infested with zombies.
I remember that I really enjoyed the first season of The Walking Dead on AMC, and I even caught up to the comic book story since then, so I thought it might be cool to rewatch & recap the show again before the second season airs next month. I will post an episode recap every Sunday from now on, up until October 16th where the second season of The Walking Dead officially starts!
In these recaps, I promise you that I’ll find many creative ways to call Lori a ~*cheating whore*~, so let’s dive right into the zombie apocalypse!
|The Walking Dead features a protagonist named Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) who wakes up from a coma only to discover that he’s in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. Having destroyed the infrastructures of modernity, these deadly zombies are after human brainnns and one bite from them means you’re an instant goner. Sheriff Rick is in search of his family, while trying to survive the zombie assault in this dark and twisted world.|
|If you need to know what happens in the first 10 minutes of The Walking Dead pilot, in case it shows up in a trivia question, here’s what you need to know:
1. Rick shoots a young zombie girl
Yeah, that’s right. The Walking Dead didn’t start off with an explanation about why or how the zombie invasion began, nor did it show us the initial panic of the zombie attack. Oh no, those are just the insignificant details. First and foremost, the show *urgently* established the fact that Rick’s wife Lori is a skank ass bitch, which is probably why she slept around with her husband’s best friend Shane.
|A road chase leads to Rick being shot on the job. At first, he’s like “Pfft, I’m okay! They aren’t gonna kill off the lead character within the first 10 minutes.” But then Rick gets shot again and this time he’s like SON OF A BITCH I’M BLEEDING TO DEATH.|
|After slipping into a coma, Rick regains consciousness within an indeterminate amount of time. Some nitpicky viewers took major offense to the fact that Rick stayed alive on his life support system even though there hadn’t been electricity for days. Sure, it’s not realistic or logical (on a TV program about zombies, ok…) but where is the fun in watching the show’s protagonist die during his hospitalization!? I’d much rather see him get eaten alive by zombies!|
|As Rick strolls through the empty hospital wreckage, he notices that…yeah, this is more than just a renovation project gone wrong! Something definitely doesn’t seem right here!!!|
|I think this mutilated dead corpse is a pretty big red flag that the world has gone to hell.|
|Rick steps outside and then POW! HUNDREDS OF DEAD BODY BAGS EVERYWHERE. Probably wish you didn’t wake up from that coma now, eh?|
|FYI, The Walking Dead is not the kind of show that you should watch while eating a meal. I learned this the hard way. Excuse me while I wipe the vomit off my keyboard.|
|Upon arriving home, Rick can’t find his wife Lori or his son Karl. That’s the last straw for our protagonist, who breaks down and starts crying about all the sick shit that he just saw. Like, it wasn’t even sensitive manly crying. It was the kind of I-don’t-give-a-shit crying with heavy breathing, snot dripping, tears streaking, teeth quivering, and voice cracking. Rick literally curled up in a ball and wailed in excruciating agony!
But can you really blame him? If I was in his shoes, I’d be crying too…right after I was finished vomiting, puking, and nauseating all over.
|Rick: *squinty eyes* Hey…is that another human be- *SHOVELSLAMM’D*|
|We’re not even halfway through the show yet, but our lead character Rick has already been shot by a nameless bandit and knocked on his ass by some adolescent kid. Not really a stellar first impression, I’m afraid.|
|To make matters worse, the child (Dwayne) also has a badass father (Morgan) who’s not afraid to wave his gun at a stranger’s face. Morgan keeps asking Rick to describe the wound on his ribcage. And judging by his finger on the gun trigger, I don’t think this guy is a friendly doctor offering medical assistance, no?|
|Rick is like OH FUCK DIS SHIT. *cross-eyed* *nosebleed* *goes unconscious*|
|I don’t know what kind of sexual activities Morgan and his zombie wife engage in before the apocalypse, but tying a half-naked man to the bedpost looks pretty kinky from this angle!|
|When Morgan whips out something from his pants (ok – his knife) and draws his face very close towards Rick’s (ok – to whisper a threat), The Walking Dead almost became a ~*very different*~ show for a split second there, I’m just sayin’.|
|Morgan is going to free Rick from captivity, but warns him that if he tries to hurt anyone here, this knife will be inserted into his anus so fast so deep. Rick is like “I understand perfectly, sir. Now can you please bring me a change of clothes and a new pair of underwear? Because I’m pretty sure I just soiled myself out of fear.”|
|It turns out that Morgan and Dwayne are just two regular folks trying to survive the zombie apocalypse. They took extra precautions towards Rick, because they suspected that his bullet wound might’ve been a zombie bite in disguise. After clearing the air, Morgan invites their new guest into the prayer circle during dinner, and Rick is like *umokay?*|
|Morgan gives some vague expository information about the zombies – also known as the ‘walkers’ – who roam around at night and attack anything they sense is alive. No one really knows what the zombies are after, but human brainnns seem to be a popular item on their menu list.|
|Rick: You shot that man today.
Morgan: Man? *shrugs*
Dwayne: It weren’t no man!
Morgan: What the hell was that out your mouth just now?
Dwayne: It wasn’t a man.
Someone just got schooled on grammar even in the middle of a zombie outbreak. *lol*
|Unfortunately, Morgan’s wife is among the zombies in the neighbourhood. She just passed away due to a badly timed fever. Her presence traumatizes the father-son duo every single day, yet Morgan can’t find the strength to put his wife down and end her zombified misery.|
|On the next day, Rick takes his host family to the police precinct with a conveniently operable shower. Having run around in just a pair of boxer shorts for half the pilot, I’m pretty sure Andrew Lincoln fulfilled his shirtless quota for this season, but I guess a shower scene never hurt anyone.|
|The show made sure to include a shot of Rick shaving in the shower (heyhey~), because he’s just not one of those guys who can rock a beard look. Maybe he can pull off a five o’clock shadow or even some light stubble, but Rick kinda looked like a homeless madman with that scraggly beard earlier in the episode (which might be the appearance they’re going for, but still). Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being a little *glam* even in the middle of a zombie apocalypse!|
|Rick and Morgan also stock up on weaponries, and the camera is oddly positioned behind this cage for some reason. I guess The Walking Dead is aiming to score some cinematography awards with this pilot, which explains some of the weird artsy camera angles throughout the episode.
THE SCENE IS SHOT BEHIND THE CAGE BECAUSE THE CHARACTERS ARE TRAPPED ~SYMBOLICALLY~! YOU SEE? YOU SEE?
|Convinced that his family is still alive, Rick goes on a journey to Atlanta in hopes of finding his wife and son. Morgan decides to stay behind for a few days to recuperate, which roughly translates to “I’m a one-episode guest star who won’t appear in any other Season 1 episodes. See ya, sucka!”|
|Nonetheless, Rick will communicate with Morgan through a walkie-talkie, also known as a MacGuffin or a Clunky Plot Device, in case the writers decide to reintroduce Morgan & Dwayne in a future episode.|
|Having read The Walking Dead comic series by Robert Kirkman, it’s no surprise that the original work is far superior to the adaptation. However, I have to give credit to the TV series for fleshing out Morgan’s character development much better than the books. This scene is one of the few times where The Walking Dead television series really elevated from the source material. Not even exaggerating here, I’d even go as far to say that this scene is the highlight of the first season.|
|One of the reasons why Morgan stayed behind is to take care of some unfinished business in the neighbourhood, namely his zombie wife. He can’t truly “move on” knowing that she’s still half-alive yet half-dead. Morgan knows it’d be the kind thing to do to put his wife out of her misery, but how can he shoot the woman he had loved and still loves so very much?|
|The actor playing Morgan’s character, Lennie James, is PHENOMENAL in this scene. You can feel the pure raw emotion pouring out of him as he targets the crosshair at his zombie wife. His reluctance to pull the trigger truly captures the essence of The Walking Dead. It takes a certain calibre of actor to nail this scene perfectly, and boy did he ever!
I feel like this guy needs to win many awards for his acting chops. Lennie James is an amazing actor and he deserves to be recognized somehow. At least have him return in Season 2!
|In the end, Morgan just couldn’t pull the trigger that ends his wife’s undead existence. And goddamn it, I still get goosebumps every time I watch this emotionally daunting scene. *teary-eyed*|
|But enough with the emotional gushy stuff, it’s time for us to call Lori a WHOOOOOOOORE!!!|
|First, a disclaimer: I love Lori’s character. Granted, I kind of love her ironically because she’s so awful – but when I say awful, I do mean awesome and I’m secretly rooting for her skanky ass in every scene. So what if she cheated on her comatose husband with his slimy best friend!? A WOMAN HAS NEEDS, OKAY? I fully support Lori being a whorish adulterer. You go tap dat police officer’s ass, gurl!
I hate the son Karl though. That annoying kid can feel free to FOAD at any time.
|Lori’s problem is that she has such a horrible character introduction. We watched Rick spend the entire pilot crying about his family, and then we see Lori immediately locking tongues with his best friend! That’s kind of cold, dude. I don’t know the amount of time that Rick spent in his coma, but it couldn’t have been long enough to excuse Lori for moving on to another man like hopscotch.|
|But hey, no television show can escape the wrath of the love triangle subplot, and The Walking Dead is no exception. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. The trainwreck potential here is very high and possibly very entertaining.|
|Rick is on a quest to search for his family in Atlanta. He switches to a more oil-efficient transportation method in the form of a horse.
Rick: How would you like me to kidnap you from this peaceful green pasture, ride you into a city swarmed with zombies, and then leave you for dead like a selfish bastard while I run away for my life?
|Rick believes that Atlanta is some sort of safe haven, but he couldn’t be more wrong. The first sign of trouble is that all of these abandoned cars were trying to EXIT the city in the opposite direction, whereas the road into the city is completely free of traffic. Not sensing the dangers, Rick is “LOL! Look at that afternoon rush traffic jam! Good thing I’m on a horse!” *casually trots along*|
|Unfortunately for Rick, he trotted straight into a mob of angry zombies who are like HORSE BRAINS WITH A SIDE DISH OF HUMAN FLESH. YUMMY.|
|We also have a special cameo for this KEVIN BACON ZOMBIE!!! *awesome dance* I wanna see more celebrity lookalike zombies for Season 2!|
|It’s kind of strange there are so many white zombies in Atlanta of all places, but okay we’ll roll with that.|
|That poor horse was abandoned by Rick as soon as the situation turns ugly. The animal quickly becomes zombie fodder within a matter of seconds.
This horse could have lived
Until Rick kidnapped it here
Rick is an asshole
|The floodgates of zombies surround Rick in every direction overwhelmingly so. And these zombies are fucking smart! They can even run, climb, and jump, which seems a little unfair to the human beings on the show, but I guess it makes for more dramatic television that the zombies are ~*versatile*~.|
|Rick manages to take cover inside a tank, but even then that’s only a temporary escape…|
|The end is near. Rick is trapped. Surrounded by zombies. Nowhere else to go. He seriously contemplates suicide a few times, but it seems like there’s a higher divine being (aka. the showrunners) that wants him to keep living!|
|Just when all hope is lost, Rick suddenly hears a man’s voice communicating with him via the speaker. It’s not a fantasy. This is a real call!
That guy is like: “Hey dumbass, next time you kamikaze…try a little harder!”
|And Rick is like “OH EM EFF GEE. I CAN’T EVEN COMPREHEND THE FUCKERY OF THIS SHOW. WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!?”|
|I must end this recap with another screencap of the Kevin Bacon zombie. Just look at him and the uncanny resemblance. PURE AWESOME.|