Season 1, Episode 09 – Wolf’s Bane, Teen Wolf Recap

The alpha’s identity is revealed; Jackson finds out Scott’s secret and goes on an evil rampage.

Fuck yeah, it’s Derek Hale! Welcome back to Teen Wolf! Our favourite brooding werewolf is still alive and kicking ass after an extended absence from the show. You might recall that Scott threw him under the bus a few episodes ago, so now the entire police force is after Derek because they think he’s a killer on the loose!

And Derek’s like, “If they think I’m the killer, then I’ll show them exactly what I’m capable of! *crazyfangs*”

Eventually, the police and hunters corner Derek in a warehouse. You’d think a gun nut like Papa Argent would have better aim, but he doesn’t land a single shot on the runaway wolf. He shoots a barrage of arrows, bullets and squinty glares at Derek, yet nothing hits!

Scott and Stiles come to his rescue just in time. Determined to be angstiest wolf in the group, Derek whines about how they’ve put him in a shitty predicament due to Scott’s dumbass lie. And Scott is like “Oh gurl, you do not want to get into a ‘whining how much your life sucks’ competition with me, because I guarantee you WILL lose. I mastered the art of whining incessantly in last week’s episode.”

Derek is still trying to locate the Alpha’s identity and whereabouts. His sister left him two clues before her death. One, a guy named Harris (who just happens to be that high school chemistry teacher aka. Professor Quirrell) might know what’s going on. And two, this cryptic symbol is supposed to denote a significant meaning somehow.

Jackson is still haunted by his nightmarish hallucinations. We get a particularly nasty scene where he imagines the doctor pulling nasty shit from his neck wounds!

Derek suddenly hijacks into Jackson’s thoughts and takes over the role of the evil doctor. I went from *CRINGING* to *LMAOING* at the ridiculousness of it all.

Jackson snaps out of his hallucination and realizes that he’s actually getting a body check-up in the hospital. I’ve no idea why Jackson has his legs spread open like he’s preparing for a rectal exam, but please feel free to stay shirtless for as long as he wants.

But then the doctor says, “Alright you can put your shirt back on”, and I immediately decided this guy has TERRIBLE JUDGMENT and cannot be trusted with his words, even when he claims there’s nothing wrong with Jackson’s neck injuries.

Jackson: Would you mind if I look up something on your computer really quick?
Mama McCall: I bet a handsome face like that doesn’t hear no very often.
Jackson: *smirks* *smug* *smirks some more*

The doctor’s assessment of his injuries led Jackson to a major revelation. Now he knows the truth behind Scott’s lycanthropy. In a total dick move that’s true to his character, Jackson threatens to out Scott to his loved ones, unless he gives him those supernatural powers as well.

In other words, Jackson wants to turn into a werewolf too!

Scott and Allison are on speaking terms now, but he wants them to be more than just awkward friends. So he’s like HEY BB, CHECK OUT THIS AWESOME TEXT MESSAGE THAT WILL MAKE YOU INSTANTLY FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AGAIN.

In order to trigger an emotional response within Allison, he sends her some of the show’s promotional photographs from the previous episodes. However, the pictures are actually quite strange in this context, because who took these photos of Allison and Scott together? (Especially when they’re in the middle of an intimate moment with each other. Pervert much?)

Anyway, these sappy photographs backfired on Scott in a big way. Allison twists the sweet gesture in a malicious way that only scorned girlfriends could do. She accuses Scott of sending these pictures to make her feel guilty about their break-up, and that he’s a conniving bastard who’s manipulating her fragile emotions, so she doesn’t want anything to do with him again!

And Scott is like BUT WHYYY? THIS TRICK WOULD’VE WORKED IN ANY OTHER TYPICAL TEENAGE DRAMA PROGRAM. ;_;

Now Jackson finds a way to fuck with Scott’s head even more. Since he knows Scott has highly sensitive hearing, Jackson decides to taunt him with provocative remarks that only the two of them could hear.

Jackson: Scott? Can you hear me? You can, can’t you? You’re trying to pretend not to hear me? *laughs* So what else can you do, huh? Can you see better? Are you strongest? More powerful? I knew there was no way you suddenly became that great at lacrosse, which means you’re actually a cheater! (He does make a good point, Scott.) Can you even play lacrosse?
Scott: *RAGE* *RAGE* *RAGE*

Jackson: And while you’re pretending you’re not a lying cheat, I’m going to ruin your life if you don’t give me what I want. And you know what I’m going to start with? Her. I’m going to destroy any chance you have left with her.
Scott: *RAGE* *RAGE* *RAGE*
Jackson: And when I’m done with that, I’m going to get her all alone, and I’m going to get my hands all over that tight little body. I’m going to do everything that you never got the chance to do. Scott, she’s going to beg for more. I bet you she likes to get loud. Maybe she’s even a screamer. How are you gonna feel, Scott, when she’s screaming my name?

Jackson makes good on his threat to steal Scott’s woman, as he and Allison frolic half-naked in the school swimming pool. They’re up to their usual flirtatious banter, and Allison takes a quick moment to make sure she doesn’t have a nip slip!

While Jackson and Allison are flirting like crazy, we have to remember that Jackson still has a girlfriend…

Oh wait, not anymore. Continuing his asshole rampage, Jackson breaks up with Lydia (he prefers the word ‘dumped’) in a text message. He even goes so far to call her dead weight as he makes some new changes in his life.

Lydia tries to maintain her bravado, but she’s visibly taken aback by the sudden break-up. Just wait until she finds out that her best friend is dating her ex-boyfriend! *ohthefireworks*

Derek has this creepy tendency of showing up in people’s houses unannounced. And while very few would object to the presence of Derek Hale in their bedroom (oh gurl, don’t act like you wouldn’t), his entrance is still a little too WTF? for the room occupants.

Papa Stilinski wants to congratulate his son on making first line in tonight’s lacrosse game, but Stiles acts all spazzed out because he’s hiding an alleged homicidal killer in his bedroom! Papa Stilinski gives his son the *I know what you’re doing behind closed doors look* that parents give when they catch their kids browsing porn on the Internet, though he’s too embarrassed to say anything. Nonetheless, Derek goes undetected by the police sheriff.

Fugitive Derek is going to stay at Stiles’ room for the time being, while he’s still the prime suspect for a police investigation. This is gonna be a very interesting sleeping arrangement on that bed, eh?

Stiles enlists the help of Danny, his lab partner and former juvenile computer hacker, to track down the whereabouts of the Alpha. Danny doesn’t want to engage in any criminal activities, until he notices a certain hot stud at the back of Stiles’ bedroom!

WELL FUCK ME. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

Danny is outright *GAWKING* at Derek Hale, as he tries to refrain himself from drooling and salivating on the spot!

But really, can you blame a gay for staring at this fine specimen of PERFECTION?

By the way, I’m not ashamed to admit that most of the web traffic for this blog belongs to people searching for shirtless pictures of hot guys online. I actually think it’s quite an honour that you managed to find my images. So keep ’em coming, and just remember to wipe your computer monitors afterwards. *lol*

Sensing the gay vibes oozing from his lab partner, Stiles uses this opportunity wisely and decides to exploit Derek’s shirtless body for his benefit. He orders Derek (who’s posing as Stiles’ cousin “Miguel”) to go through the wardrobe and keep changing clothes until he finds the TIGHTEST shirt possible.

Is this not the epitome of gratuitous nudity that does nothing to advance the plot, just so the show runners can shamelessly display the attractiveness of the male physique? Yes, why yes it is – and that’s exactly why we love Teen Wolf.

After feasting his eyes on the visual buffet, Danny finally agrees to hack into the network systems. Well done, Stiles!

Remember when Allison received a mysterious text message in Episode 7, which summoned her to go to the high school at night? Stiles got the bright idea of tracing the whereabouts of the call with Danny’s mad hacking skills.

What they discover, however, is that the text message originated on a computer. More specifically, it belonged to a computer in the hospital, registered under Mama McCall’s name!

SCOTT’S MOM IS THE ALPHA!!! (Spoiler alert: not really, dumbass lol)

Apparently, all werewolves have the creepy tendency to break into people’s bedrooms! Scott makes his way to Allison’s room and snoops around her belongings.

Scott eventually finds what he’s looking for – Allison’s necklace, containing a cryptic symbol that he cannot yet decipher.

After the night of the school attack, Allison wants to become stronger so that she wouldn’t ever feel so utterly helpless again. Kate reassures her niece to wait just a little longer. When the time is right, she will teach Allison on how to be a psychotic bitch who tortures and murders people for fun!

Scott has the necklace, but he gets busted by Papa Argent who wants to have a *chat* between the two of them. Scott doesn’t really want to have a conversation with Papa Argent’s crotch, but he has no other choice in the matter.

Papa Argent: So, I heard you know Derek Hale quite well…
Scott: DEREK HALE? MORE LIKE DEREK WHO? NEVER HEARD OF THAT MAN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. WHAT IS A DEREK? I MEAN, ARE YOU EVEN SPEAKING ENGLISH?
Papa Argent: I’m talking about the guy who you claim is trying to kill my daughter. This is also the same guy that you’ve talked to many times in the past…
Scott: *in denial* LIES! ALL LIES!

In the end, Scott doesn’t budge on his stance, but he reassures Papa Argent that he has Allison’s best interests at heart. Everything he did on the night of the school attack was to ensure Allison’s safety.

Of course, Allison overhears this exchange and responds with a thoughtful expression on her face. *hmm*

Before the football game starts, Scott finally confesses to Jackson that he is a werewolf, but this is not really all that’s cracked up to be. There’re a lot of dangerous people out there in the world, including Allison’s nutjob family, who constantly wants to eradicate Scott’s existence because of who he is.

Jackson listens to his sob story for a while, but in the end he’s still like WHO GIVES A FUCK? I WANNA BE A BADASS WEREWOLF! Scott insists this is out of his control, since only an Alpha can convert someone into a wolf. Nonetheless, Jackson gives him just 72 hours to meet his demands or he threatens to destroy Scott’s life.

Stiles’ investigation leads him to the real identity of the Alpha. It’s not the Vet, it’s not the Chemistry Teacher, and it’s not even Mama McCall…

The real Alpha turns out to be Jackson’s uncle, who was previously believed to be traumatized into a comatose state. His nurse was also an accomplice. Uncle Hale was the only survivor of the fire that killed out his family, but this fire also brought out some ugly inner demons that cannot be suppressed.

Stiles soon realizes that he’s gonna get mauled, but Derek arrives to the scene and elbow checks a bitch!

Unfortunately, Derek gets his ass handed to him and barely made it out of the hospital lobby alive.

The make-up team in Teen Wolf decides they’re not going to spend hours decorating this actor’s face anymore, so Uncle Hale gets a sudden cosmetic procedure and looks a million times better.

The chemistry teacher, aka. Adrian Harris, confesses to Papa Stilinski about his involvement in the Hale family murder. It turns out he’s not really that evil, but he’s just a sad sack of a man longing for some companionship. Professor Quirrell went to a bar one night and started talking to this attractive woman, who listens intently as he divulges his scientific theories upon her. He brings up the possibility of starting a chemical fire that will leave no incriminating evidence, which eventually leads to the infamous arson/murder case.

How does he identify this woman? She’s wearing a peculiar necklace that’s supposed to be a family heirloom…you know where this is heading, right?

Coach: You know there’s no ‘me’ in team, right boys?
Scott: Yes there is, coach!
Coach: Okay, smartass. How about this? No ‘A’ in Econ if no win in field!

Kate makes a few inappropriately suggestive remarks about what a hot slice of ass Jackson is. She encourages her niece to ~*GET ALL OVER THAT AND RIDE IT ALL NIGHT LONG GURL*~

But then she notices the claw marks on Jackson’s neck!

The episode ends with the Argent siblings discussing whether somebody can turn into a werewolf based on these scratch wounds. Chris thinks it’s a possibility, so Kate is like *crazy smirk* *head snap* *PSYCHO KILLER BITCH POWERS ACTIVATE*

OMFG Jackson is a marked man!!!

12 Responses

  1. Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

    You and me both! I think the show found a great balance between the serious (plot) and the silly (comedy/fanservice), which makes Teen Wolf such a pleasure to watch. And it helps that the show can be quite shameless sometimes, so they're not afraid to go *there* in order to cater to the audience. I love it~

  2. Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

    Heh. I loved how that whole scene played out. While writing this, I actually had to stop myself before the whole recap consisted of just this one short 2-minute scene. *lol*

  3. Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

    Yes, I loved that scene! And then Derek followed it up with the “You know what that was for!” punchline. They're a great comedy duo. *lol*

  4. Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

    If only! The thought of this makes my brain go on an ecstasy overload. “Stiles, none of these feeeeet!”

  5. Default avatar Pretty little good_girl December 9th, 2012 / Sunday

    I totally enjoyed your recap & I love Derek & his scenes with Stiles :)

  6. Default avatar stephanie jones February 26th, 2013 / Tuesday

    awesome?

  7. Default avatar Faith Allison February 14th, 2014 / Friday

    Schmexxiest series ever

  8. Default avatar Faith Allison Evans February 14th, 2014 / Friday

    Schmexxiest series ever

  9. Default avatar Avery July 3rd, 2014 / Thursday

    You said the alpha male turned out to be JACKSON’S uncle but it was Derek’s uncle… Typo? But I loooove these summaries. I’ve never seen the show but I feel like I’ve been watching all along!

  10. Default avatar sassmastah July 5th, 2014 / Saturday

    “fuck yeah it’s derek hale”

    lolol brb laughing my ass off

  11. Default avatar jay jayyyyy October 11th, 2014 / Saturday

    omg scott is the biggest douchebag I cant express it enough

  12. Default avatar Maude August 13th, 2015 / Thursday

    At picture 42 you say jackson’s uncle while refering to peter. Peter is Derek’s uncle and not Jackson’s. I simply needed to point that out or else It was great!

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