Season 1, Episode 06 – Heart Monitor, Teen Wolf Recap

Season 1 Episode 06 - Heart Monitor - Teen Wolf Recap Scott learns how to control and restrain his transformations; Allison learns about her family history.

This episode begins with a simulated exercise where Scott prepares to fend for himself when he’s being chased down by a werewolf. Except Scott doesn’t know this is an exercise, and actually believes his life is in peril! Despite running really fast, and a smart strategy of triggering all the car alarms, an untimely phone call gives away Scott’s hiding position in the parking lot. In the end, Derek tells Scott that he failed the simulation, and he might as well be *dead*.
Scott starts whining that he wants to protect himself and his loved ones, but he still needs to go through a lot of training. Derek insists that Scott must first get rid of all the unnecessary distractions in his life, including his teen romance with Allison, so he can focus on staying alive.
But Scott is like “Durrr, if I’m gonna die either way, then I don’t wanna die a virgin dude.” Derek gets all riled up, so Scott finally promises that he’ll stay away from Allison – at least until after the next full moon.
Obviously, you should never ever trust a teenager. Next scene, Scott already broke his promise while he’s getting hot and heavy with Allison. She’s into this possibly even more than he does: TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT ALLLLL OFF! And as they strip each other half-naked, there’s suddenly a knock at the door!
After shoving her boyfriend into the walk-in closet, Allison tells her meddlesome aunt that she’s just doing a boring history assignment in her room, because daddy dearest had grounded her. Kate is like HEY GIRLY GIRL, LET’S SPEND HOURS TALKING ABOUT OUR FAMILY HISTORY, K? I HOPE YOU’RE NOT BUSY. And Scott is like MAH CHERRY ;_;
Right after he leaves Allison’s house, Scott has another close encounter with a werewolf, except this time it’s a real attack from the alpha!
The alpha doesn’t hurt Scott, but he uses his claws to draw a spiral symbol on the fogged car window, which is still freaky as shit! According to Derek, this spiral is like a cursed symbol or a mark of doom, which roughly translates to SCOTT IS GONNA DIE, DIE, DIE.
Scott is officially scared for his life now, so he’s trying to keep his head down and avoid Allison in the school. Except that he keeps bumping into her, Jackson, and Lydia despite his best efforts to stay away from them!
One person that Scott doesn’t want to stay away from is his best friend Stiles, but apparently they aren’t speaking anymore after the parking lot incident. It’s not made clear why Stiles is angry at his friend. I guess he blames Scott for not helping out during the mountain lion attack, which led to Papa Stiles getting hit by a car.
Anyway, Stiles can’t stay mad at his bestie for too long. He begrudgingly helps Scott practice, train, and control his werewolf ninjutsu.
Allison is reading up on her family history, and learns that the Argents have a long-lasting legacy of hunting down werewolves! She shares this expository information with Lydia who’s kind of like TL;DR.
Scott is still trying to hide from Allison. This is actually a very good disguise because let’s face it – when was the last time that big dumbass Scott actually read a book?
At least Scott and Stiles are on speaking terms now.

Stiles: Yeah, I’ll be your Yoda.
Scott: Yeah, you be my Yoda.
Stiles: Your Yoda I will be. *giddy* I said it backwards!
Scott: Uh yeah, I know. *embarrassed* -_-“
Stiles: Alright, you know what? I definitely still hate you.

The resourceful Stiles comes up with a brilliant idea of measuring Scott’s heart rate from a heart monitor (which he stole from the lacrosse coach). Learning how to control his heart rate may be the key to triggering Scott’s wolf transformations.

Scott gets a bit cocky and compares himself to The Incredible Hulk, but Stiles quickly shoots him down. Stiles is kind of a badass this episode, which is a nice change from being the wimpy comic relief all the time, even though he should definitely ease up on the PMSing.

One way to trigger Scott’s transformation is to intentionally provoke him and get his heart rate racing. Stiles definitely got a kick out of pummelling Scott with ball after ball, until Scott’s heart rate increased so much that he’s starting to wolf out!
Scott manages to contain his rage just in time and not transform on the spot. He notices that the angrier he got, the stronger he felt.

Scott: I can’t be around Allison.
Stiles: Just because she makes you happy?
Scott: No, because she makes me weak.

Meanwhile, Jackson is hurting! He looks pale, he smells like death, and the wounds on his neck appear to have worsened.
And then…O M F G W T F !!!

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF
WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF
WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF
WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF
WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO JACKSON!?!?!?
It turns out that nightmarish scene was just a figment of his imagination, but my god that was seriously creepy, those claws came out of *nowhere* and gave me quite the fucking scare!!! MORE OF THAT PLEASE, TEEN WOLF.
We get this equally creepy scene where Jackson gets way too intimate with Allison all of a sudden. He apologizes for being such a dick to her boyfriend, and would like to get to know the two of them on a more personal level. Jackson is all like *LEERY EYES* *HEAVY PANTING* *MANIACAL SMILE* while Allison is thinking to herself WHERE’S MY RAPE WHISTLE?
Despite his best efforts, Scott can’t avoid talking to Allison during class. She even managed to switch lab partners so the two of them can go to her house and SEX IT UP. Scott is like DERP DERP I DON’T WANNA BRING UR GRADES DOWN BB. And Allison is like BUT WITH THE POWER OF LOVE, WE CAN CONQUER ACADEMICS TOGETHER BB!
Stiles, who is extraordinarily snarky this episode, just rolls his eyes at their conversation. Exactly, Stiles, exactly. *lol*
Scott is humiliated in front of the whole class because he’s such a dumbass who never does his homework. As the teacher continues to berate him, Scott’s heart rate goes higher and higher!
Teacher: “Did you do the reading or not? Nice work, McCall. It’s not like you’re not averaging a D in this class. C’mon buddy, you know I can’t keep you on the team if you have a D. How about you summarize the previous night’s reading? How about the night before that? How about you summarize anything you’ve ever read in your entire life? No, a blog? How about the back of a cereal box? How about the Adult Only warning from your favourite website you visit every night? Anything? Thank you, McCall! Thank you! Thank you for extinguishing any last flicker of hope I have for your generation!”
Scott’s heart rate goes so fast that he’s almost on the verge of transforming. But then, it suddenly normalizes again when Allison calms him down by holding his hand (a nice throwback to what happened at the dinner scene in Episode 4). Stiles theorizes that Allison is actually a positive influence for Scott, because she gives him control and restraint over his emotions.
To test out his theory, Stiles does some more shit-stirring and Scott gets beaten down by a bunch of thugs! Instead of transforming into his wolf form, Scott focuses on Allison’s soothing voice and restrains his animal self, because the ~POWER OF LOVE~ always prevails!
Derek needs ANSWERS about the alpha, and he’s hoping his comatose uncle will do a miraculous turnaround to help him out. The uncle takes his goddamn time to answer him, but Derek is too impatient and left before seeing the actual response!
Due to their earlier mischief, Scott and Stiles are given detention by Professor Quirrell who still looks, acts, and speaks like an evil motherfucker. The show is obviously setting him up as one of the prime suspects for the Alpha.
In detention, Scott and Stiles talk about manly shit like THEIR FEELINGS and THEIR FRIENDSHIP and WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY. Even the teacher is like UGH ENOUGH, WHAT A BUNCH OF BITCHES, GTFO MY CLASSROOM.
The other prime candidate for the Alpha investigation is the shady veterinarian, aka. Scott’s boss. Derek is convinced that this vet knows more than he lets on. The vet is seemingly oblivious, but Derek tries to get an answer out of him through physical force!
Scott enters the pet clinic just in time. He takes one look at Derek’s approach and goes MOFO U CRAZY? Derek punches the living daylights out of the vet anyway, just to determine whether this guy is a werewolf or not.
It seems like Scott has mastered a full grasp over his emotions, and he can now switch to SUPER SAIYAN mode on will. He manages to stop Derek from punching the vet again.
Scott: DID I STUTTER? I SAID – MOFO U CRAZY?
Scott and Stiles come up with a plan to lure the alpha to the school grounds. Legend has it that a wolf can summon their pack through howling, and that’s exactly what Scott tries to do with the school’s P.A. system.
…except his howling sounds like a cat being strangled to death (or in MTV terms, he sound exactly like a typical Rihanna song ;P)!!!
Even the normally stoic Derek hears the noise outside and goes *SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT*.
Stiles gives his friend some sage advice and a shoulder massage at the same time.

Stiles: Be a werewolf, not a teen wolf! Be a werewolf!
Scott: That makes no sense at all, but it’s cool that you included the show’s title in that sentence. By the way, nice hands. :-D

His second attempt at howling fares much better. Scotty’s milkshake brings all the naughty werewolves to his backyard!!!
Derek: IMMA KILL BOTH OF YOU. WTH WAS THAT!? What are you trying to do? Attract the entire state to this school?
Scott: Sorry, I didn’t know it would be that loud.
Stiles: Yeah, it was loud. AND IT WAS AWESOME~~~
Derek: Shuddup.
Stiles: Don’t be such a sour wolf.
While Derek is distracted by the teen’s antics, he has his back turned on his captive. One moment, the vet is tied up and still unconscious inside Derek’s car…
And in the next moment, ABRA KADABRA, the vet is gone, gone, gone!
Before Derek can turn around and go WHERE DAT VET AT, the alpha makes a surprising ambush!
In one swift second, the alpha digs his claws into Derek’s back and A FOUNTAIN OF BLOOD POURS OUT OF DEREK’S MOUTH OMFG. He hurls Derek’s lifeless body against the wall, killing him instantly, while the teens run for their fucking lives!
Holy shit, Derek Hale is dead, dead, dead!!! ;_;

A Eulogy for Derek Hale – A Haiku

Derek, rest in peace
You died too young too early
I will miss your abs

9 Responses

  1. Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

    Yep, I had a hunch they wouldn't kill off that walking pair of six pack abs that easily. I'm going to prepare a haiku for his resurrection when Episode 8 rolls along. ;)

  2. Default avatar Johan June 15th, 2012 / Friday

    Minor nitpick but Stiles Be a werewolf, not a teen wolf! Be a werewolf does make sense.

    Were is a old english word for man. So stiles is saying Be a man wolf, not a teen wolf! Be a man wolf!

    Like your recaps. This is a great show

  3. Default avatar cara-marie September 21st, 2013 / Saturday

    he wasn’t dead

  4. Default avatar ily December 7th, 2013 / Saturday

    omgod i love this site

  5. Default avatar Emma March 1st, 2014 / Saturday

    Hahahah, this site makes every episode even more hilarious. Love it! :)

  6. Default avatar Random stranger:) May 26th, 2014 / Monday

    OMG I freakin love these recaps. You honestly saved my life! I was franking out because I don’t live in the us anymore so I can’t watch episodes on my iPad anymore but now I can at least know the story:)

  7. Default avatar You Know That Random Chick March 11th, 2015 / Wednesday

    Your recaps make laugh so HARD!!!!!

  8. Default avatar STILES STILINSKI April 17th, 2015 / Friday

    Y r u so hard on Stiles? Dylan O’brien is adorable and he’s my fav. character. Please don’t be so hard on him.
    Anyways, Derek doesn’t die, if he did i wudn’t watch the show. His abs are like the highlight of the show. LOVE the recaps by the way!

  9. Default avatar Katy April 22nd, 2016 / Friday

    that haiku tho xD roflll

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