Teen Wolf Characters Guide – Season 1

A Viewer's Guide to the Characters of Teen Wolf

The characters on Teen Wolf are surprisingly likable, which is no easy feat for a TV show focused on teenagers. Usually, there’s always one or two characters who annoy the daylights out of me, but nobody on Teen Wolf is bugging me so far. Perhaps ‘likable’ is not the right word to describe certain characters, such as the controversial Jackson or the psychotic Kate, but even the so-called villains have a bit of a campy quality to their characterization that makes them enjoyable to watch (i.e. Kate licking Derek’s abs as a torturing method? More of that please.) This is a show where you can root for the protagonists and still enjoy the antagonists at the same time. On that note, let me introduce you to this little humble character guide, which celebrates both the heroes and the villains on Teen Wolf.

Tyler Posey - Scott McCall, Teen Wolf Scott McCall (Tyler Posey)

1. Our teen wolf protagonist

2. BUT I DON’T WANNA BE A WEREWOLF. *whines*

3. Obsessed with his girlfriend Allison

4. Total dumbass; too stupid to live; failing half his courses in school

5. Co-captain of the lacrosse team, bitch!

Dylan O'Brien - Stiles Stilinski, Teen Wolf Stiles Stilinski (Dylan O’Brien)

1. Scott’s best friend

2. Dogged nice guy, devoted friend, geeky sidekick, comic relief

3. Has an unrequited crush on Lydia since the third grade

4. Yes Stiles, you are attractive to gay guys (and pretty much the entire Teen Wolf fan base too)

5. Easily the ~*REAL*~ star of the show

Crystal Reed - Allison Argent, Teen Wolf Allison Argent (Crystal Reed)

1. Scott’s girlfriend

2. Daughter of a crazy werewolf hunter mafia family

3. Sweetheart with an edge…and an insatiable sex drive

4. Teenage nympho; always trying to have sex with Scott; even got caught stealing a condom

5. Deadly with a bow and arrow

Colton Haynes - Jackson Whittemore, Teen Wolf Jackson Whittemore (Colton Haynes)

1. Scott’s rival

2. Bully, arrogant jock, captain of the lacrosse team

3. As an adopted kid, he feels a constant need to seek for approval

4. His fancy schmancy Porsche is better than your Honda

5. He always seems to be molested, sexually harassed, or touched inappropriately by some other man

Holland Roden - Lydia Martin, Teen Wolf Lydia Martin (Holland Roden)

1. Allison’s best friend

2. Queen bee; popular girl on campus

3. Acts like a ditz, but way smarter than she pretends to be

4. Used to date Jackson; and oh gurl, she does a *lot* of sucking on his behalf

5. Made out with her best friend’s ex-boyfriend behind her current boyfriend’s back (due to a “weird power thing” according to Stiles)

Tyler Hoechlin - Derek Hale, Teen Wolf Derek Hale (Tyler Hoechlin)

1. Scott’s werewolf mentor

2. Dark, sexy, brooding, mysterious, and angsty

3. His entire family bloodline got killed in a fire; even his sister got slashed into two halves

4. Got played by his psycho ex-girlfriend Kate as a teenager; now a bitter and jaded wolf

5. Flawless physical specimen; with abs like his, why does he bother to wear clothes?

Jill Wagner - Kate Argent, Teen Wolf Kate Argent (Jill Wagner)

1. Allison’s psycho bitch aunt

2. Proud werewolf hunter with a bloodthirsty killer instinct

3. Guns and borderline certifiable insanity make a deadly combination

4. Has a kinky S&M torture dungeon for tying up shirtless werewolves

5. “I DON’T KNOW WHETHER TO KILL IT OR LICK IT.” *cackles*

Ian Bohen - Peter Hale, Teen Wolf Peter Hale (Ian Bohen)

1. Derek’s uncle; the Alpha

2. The only survivor of the arson that killed his entire family

3. Driven to madness for six years after surviving the fire

4. After his Alpha transformation, he is determined to kill everyone involved in that arson

5. If this guy didn’t like fire while he was alive, just wait until he settles down in the deep infernos of hell

Melissa McCall - Melissa Ponzio, Teen Wolf Melissa McCall (Melissa Ponzio)

1. Scott’s sassy mother

2. Nurse; overworked and underpaid; can barely make ends meet

3. Single mother; lonely divorcee

4. Desperate to find a new man in her life again, even if they come in the form of a deranged serial killing werewolf

5. She’s gonna be devastated when Peter Hale doesn’t return her call for a second date

Linden Ashby - Sheriff Stilinski, Teen Wolf Sheriff Stilinski (Linden Ashby)

1. Stiles’ father

2. Sheriff of the local police force

3. Gets exasperated whenever Stiles manages to pop up at every crime scene around town

4. Widower; his wife’s death still haunts him and his son dearly

5. Anyone who fathered Stiles is a good egg in my books

JR Bourne - Chris Argent, Teen Wolf Chris Argent (JR Bourne)

1. Allison’s psycho bitch father

2. Hunts down werewolves as a sport

3. Very overprotective of his precious teenage daughter

4. Strict, intimidating, hard ass, conservative gun nut

5. I wouldn’t trust any man who wears black leather gloves

Eaddy Mays - Mama Argent, Teen Wolf Mama Argent (Eaddy Mays)

1. Allison’s psycho bitch mother

2. This bitch is intense!!!

3. Delivers every line like she’s carrying an axe and about to chop some bitches into pieces

4. Then again, she doesn’t even need any weapons to look dangerous – that’s how fucking scary she is.

5. KILL HIM AND RIP OUT HIS EYE SOCKETS. Oh by the way, cookies anyone?

Keahu Kahuanui - Danny, Teen Wolf Danny (Keahu Kahuanui)

1. Jackson’s gay best friend

2. Lacrosse team goalie

3. Got arrested when he was 13 for his mad hackerz skills, yo

4. Seems too nice to be Jackson’s friend, all things considered

5. *gawks at Derek’s abs* *turns away* *but can’t resist sneaking in another peek again*

Orny Adams, Teen Wolf Coach “Cupcake” (Orny Adams)

1. Scott’s lacrosse team captain

2. Also an economics teacher

3. Totally chewed out Scott’s ass in front of the whole class, which is wholly unprofessional but also pretty awesome

4. Out of all the nicknames in the world, he settled for “Cupcake”

5. He’s a joke character; not to be taken too seriously

Seth Gilliam, Teen Wolf The Veterinarian (Seth Gilliam)

1. Scott’s boss at the animal clinic

2. Specializes in werewolf medicine

3. Knows more about werewolves and supernatural creatures than he lets on

4. Secretive and mysterious; Derek and Stiles considered him an Alpha candidate

5. You can’t touch him because he’s protected by a ~*magical*~ mountain ash fortress

Adrian Harris - Adam Fristoe, Teen Wolf Adrian Harris (Adam Fristoe)

1. Scott’s chemistry teacher

2. Shady as hell; seemed like a possible Alpha suspect for the longest time

3. Turns out that he was just a lonely dweeb longing for companionship at a bar

4. He was the one who inspired the arsonist to burn down the Hale household

5. Kinda acts like the Professor Quirrell of the Teen Wolf universe

6 Responses

  1. Default avatar Lan Avis August 25th, 2011 / Thursday

    Yes! I'm so glad you did this! And you definitely got Allison right. She is possible even more obsessed with sex than Kate! Not to mention that every time she and Scott make out or start to get “hot and heavy” she almost always starts it and is pretty damn forceful about it, too. But then again she IS related to Kate so I can see where she gets her sexual hunger from. lol

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      I'm still convinced that the only reason Alison wanted to capture Scott in the finale is because of all the kinky sex stuff that she can do with Scott all tied up. Besides, anyone who's desperate enough to be a condom thief has to be pretty sex obsessed!

  2. Default avatar Anonymous September 15th, 2011 / Thursday

    I just want to see how is it gonna be the first time Allison and Scott have sex, the entire episode will probably be dedicated to that.

    Scott and Allison in bed
    *Stiles doing something productive*
    Scott and Allison still in bed
    *Some secondary character*
    nope, Scott&Allison not getting out of bed anytime soon
    *sub-plotline development*
    Scott and Allison get out of bed.

    NEXT ON TEEN WOLF

    Scott and Allison on the floor

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      *lmao*

      They should totally start off Season 2 with a ~*MUSICAL MONTAGE*~ of how much sex they have in between the seasons.

  3. Default avatar Anonymous June 6th, 2012 / Wednesday

    This is ridiculously funny! But you should add shirtless photos of the male characters where applicable similar to the PLL characters guide hahaha

  4. Default avatar Anonymous January 20th, 2015 / Tuesday

    wow love this show an Scott woooooooooow

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar Custom avatar