Season 7 Episode 2, Pretty Little Liars Recap, Bedlam

Season 7 Episode 2, Pretty Little Liars Recap, Bedlam
Pretty Little Liars does an annual spring cleaning on all the useless love interests and their relationship drama! But not before Liam delivers the most epic smackdown on Ezra, mwhahaha! Exactly how predatory do you find Ezra? Please tell us in ALL-CAPS.
B

Good!
Mary actually rescued Hanna instead of abducting her again.

Hanna doesn't need to go to the police after being captured and tortured for over 24 hours. LOLWHAT.
Andrea Parker is nailing her scenes as Mary Drake. She is KWEEN.
Caleb is a gross cheating dirtbag.
Caleb is already cheating on Spencer with Hanna right in front of her. Poor Spencer.
Hanna accepts Caleb's marriage proposal and accepts his engagement ring. Hooray for Haleb!
Hanna rejects Caleb's advances even though it's so obvious he wanna get back together with her.
Spencer is too busy crying and pitying herself instead of doing something to stop Haleb.
Can Spencer please stop crying and start kicking some much needed Haleb ass?
Spencer got fired from her job today! Quite frankly, I'm surprised she even had a job in the first place.
Maybe Spencer can get a bartending job at The Radley too!
Caleb is a completely gross human being and the way he operates makes my skin crawl.
PLL's love triangle drama isn't interesting at all, not even in the slightest bit.
Liam’s EPIC SMACKDOWN of Ezra!!!
All of the useless new love interests are good as gone!
Aria breaks up with Liam by telling him IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME BABE.
Poor Liam looked like he was about to cry after Aria dumped his ass.
Why did Aria get back together with Liam if she was only going to break up with him a few episodes later?
Liam takes the high road and promises to have an amicable breakup with Aria. How precious.
Maybe Aria wouldn't have broken up with Liam if he told her he was still working on the book beforehand?
Liam sure changed his tune about working on Ezria's book professionally as soon as he saw Ezra and Aria shacking up together.
Liam tells Ezra to his face: THE PREDATORY NATURE OF HIS ACTIONS.
Liam continues the epic smackdown of Ezra and takes no prisoners. First he calls him predatory and now he calls him a shit writer!
Liam slyly tells Ezra that he makes his skin crawl.
Ezra's justification is that he isn't that far apart in age when he fucked her as a teenager. Okay, bro.
Liam is spilling so much truth tea over the show that his righteousness cannot be contained.
Liam forgot that he was supposed to diss Ezra in code and just ends up dissing him to his face instead.
Liam is a god-tiered character after he took down Ezra in the most epic way possible.
Ezra starts bitching to Aria about how he got bullied by Liam and his righteous words.
Liam is no longer an Ezra fan after meeting the creepy mofo in person.
Liam says that Aria was seduced by her high school teacher, and she denies it even though Liam is correct about everything as usual.
PLEASE DO US A FAVOUR AND DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT, ARIA MONTGOMERY.
What is Liam waiting for!? You're spot-on with your suspiciosn! Report Ezra to the authorities already!
Goodbye Jordan, my sweet mannequin prince.
Hanna got so bored looking at the paperwork that it reminded her of how she felt about Jordan.
PLL is struggling to make Jordan's character interesting before they cut him off the show forever.
We see a flashback of how Jordan and Hanna met each other. And voila, they're engaged!
The ambiance and background music in this flashback created the illusion that Jordan's character has charisma.
Hanna tries to seduce Jordan with her sexy legs.
Hanna looked smoking hot in her v-neck red dress.
Jordan looks bored and comatose as Hanna tries to seduce him.
Hanna can't fall in love with Jordan anymore because the bar is gone???
Hanna officially breaks up with Jordan!
Hanna breaks up with Jordan in a construction site.
Jordan doesn't have any personality, but he's still a better fit for Hanna than Caleb ever will be..
I’m giving you a million dollars for free, Hanna! Take it!
I just can't picture Lucas and Hanna together in a relationship. He'll be pining after his high school crush until the day he dies.
Hanna doesn't want to take the free million dollars that Lucas is giving her to start her own business.
Lucas is like a human ATM money for Hanna to withdraw cash at any time.
I see what you did there with your backdoor bragging, Hanna Marin.
Hanna has to sign a mega contract before she can get her hands on the million dollars.
Hanna agrees to become Lucas' business partner, which is just another way of saying that he is now her sugar daddy.
Lucas could not stop looking at Hanna's breasts in that sexy red dress.
Hanna took off her engagement ring! Get in there, Lucas! There's a chance!
Mary Drake slays everybody (including unsuspecting babies?)
Lucas is gleefully relishing the fact that his enemy Alison is locked up in a mental institution.
Oh gee Emily, Alison's life is in danger after you threw her under the bus to A? What a surprise.
None of Alison's friends bother to save her life except for Emily.
Spencer thinks Elliott is a shady son of a bitch.
Elliott retaliates back at Spencer with some equally hilarious shade.
Aria and Spencer continue to snark on each other.
Check out Spencer's inspector gadget watch!
Mary Drake is such a bad liar, oh my god.
Mary described the hardships of her childhood, including being blamed for murdering a baby.
Charlotte's story about almost killing Alison in a bathtub is very similar to Mary's story, no?
Andrea Parker is such a good actress and acted the hell out of that scene!
Mary Drake is like a portrait of Mona Lisa, so mysterious and enigmatic and nobody knows what she's thinking.
Elliott might be TOO evil.
Alison is trapped in Welby, locked up, chained up, and all drugged up.
Alison is trapped in Welby, locked up, chained up, and all drugged up.
Alison thought she was talking to her dead mother, but it's really just her evil aunt.
Why didn't Alison tell Emily that her husband is trying to kill her?
Is Elliott aware that Emily can see how he's threatening Mary's life in his office right now?
Mary doesn't agree with Elliott's plan to trap and torture Alison.
Elliott
Elliott's character might actually be TOO evil and won't last long in a show like Pretty Little Liars.
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8 Responses

  1. Default avatar Anonymous July 2nd, 2016 / Saturday

    Am I the only person who wants to see Spencer x Hannah happen just so Caleb will blubber like a baby LOL :D

    • Default avatar Recap Everything July 2nd, 2016 / Saturday

      TEAM SPANNA IS THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE *PURE END* TO THIS LOVE TRIANGLE DEBACLE. I will not settle for anything less than a close-up of Caleb’s face streaked with mascara and tears as both Hanna/Spencer walk away from him.

  2. Default avatar RE ADDICT July 3rd, 2016 / Sunday

    Liam is my hero, and I reallyyyy hope that Aria starts to realize what a creep Ezra is this season. Of course, that will probably never happen because of the insane fans who think that this disgusting teacher/student relationship is #truelove. Our only hope is that this is likely the last season, so fans can’t really threaten to stop watching the show like they did with Ravenswood. But that’s not the only problem- Aria herself is too self absorbed to realize that her ~epic romance~ was a terrible relationship. In this very episode, she said she’d prefer for everyone who died to stay dead if it meant that Ezria still happened. Aria needs to listen to Liam, and get away from that predator before her ruins her whole life!!! Apparently one of the original couples is getting engaged in 7A and married in 7B. And if it’s Ezria, I’m going to be FURIOUS!!

    • Default avatar Recap Everything July 4th, 2016 / Monday

      KING LIAM <3 I hope Aria sees Ezra for who he ~really~ is, but I think she's too brainwashed and too self-absorbed at this point to come to her senses. And after Ezra openly danced with Aria at her high school prom last season, I kinda lost any hope that there would any repercussions over his actions. :( I'd love to be wrong, but I don't think PLL will ever *go there* with this couple even if it's the last season. Like Liam said, they're too attached to his character and too eager to justify his actions.

      Aria claiming that she'd rather keep Ezria alive and keep everyone else dead is such an ARIA thing to say omglol~ You just keep being you, gurl.

      Oh, and you totes know that Ezria wedding is gonna happen. Have you not received their wedding invitation in the mail yet? I'm fully prepared for PLL's apocalyptic ending and the 7B finale will feature Ezria holding hand-in-hand on their honeymoon as they walk into the sunset.

  3. Default avatar JOHN July 3rd, 2016 / Sunday

    Liam will always be the best boyfriend simply because of the ship name LIARIA <3

    Hanna's break up with Jordan seriously made me go: " Wait. What?" Not that it was surprising or anything since we know in this show high school sweethearts are true love or some BS, but because her reasoning was so. ridiculous. When she started to scream things like "NOW WE DON'T HAVE A BEGINNING" or they couldn't go elsewhere because "THEY'LL TEAR THAT DOWN TOO," I was dying because this bitch is so crazy!

    Seriously she gets a big F in reasons for a breakup 101

    • Default avatar Recap Everything July 4th, 2016 / Monday

      LIARIA is the best ship name of all ship names, know that! <3

      I was totally lmfao during Hanna's breakup scene because her reasoning was so random and bizarre as hell. I enjoyed the flashback and the seduction scene, so I was actually invested in the Jordanna romance and thought mayyyybe they'll handle this storyline well...and then it was like BULLSHIT GALORE right afterwards. To top it off, Hanna broke up with Jordan in a noisy construction site next to a hot dog vendour, and I couldn't think of a more appropriate setting to end their romantic relationship. *lol*

  4. Default avatar Super Creepy Stalker Ezra July 4th, 2016 / Monday

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE your recap!

    I need to ask, why do the polls have to be so hard this time? “Best Liam shade?” “Which love triangle reject won the biggest prize thanks to the break-up?” Is it even possible to choose?

    Funny note about the “Lucas – Hanna” part, when my brain saw the pictures “I won’t need to have sex with you” and “ATM” under, I thought the “ATM” will be “at this moment”, not the actuall ATM lol.

    To *defend* Ezria, it actually WAS NOT teacher seducing his student. It was quite another story about this creep obsessed with 13 yrs old girl so much he started being even bigger creep by doing the whole “true story book” and stalking bunch of teenagers to find out what happened to her. And of course there is no another way to do it but bang her teenage friend. Then he fell in love with her, “stopped with the investigation” (like anybody believes that), blah blah blah, he got shot (while STALKING THEM AGAIN so everything had to be forgiven, right?

    Can you imagine if Aria actually ended up with Liam? If Hanna ended with Jordan/Lucas/another NOT Caleb? and Spencer ended up with Toby? And Alison and Emily didn’t end up together? It would literally DESTROY THE TWITTER, which could actually be what Marlene’d want. *Crossed fingers and hopes atleast the Aria part was true*

    • Default avatar Recap Everything July 5th, 2016 / Tuesday

      THANK YOU! :D :D :D

      It’s the final season of Pretty Little Liars, so no more easy-peasy filler poll questions! You need to think carefully every time you answer these polls because as a wise villain once said: #notakebacks #nodovers

      I updated that particular image to make it a little clearer…although your interpretation works too! *lol* At first, I wanted to draw a doodle of an ATM machine, which ended up looking like a rectangular thing, so I just ended smacking three letters on his forehead~ :D

      I nominate you to write Ezra’s biography please~ <3 Yeah, it'd be too easy to generalize Ezra's actions merely as "teacher seduce student" when in reality his super creepy stalking ways are sooooo much more elaborate and exploitative. *lolcreep*

      Knowing Marlene King, I think it'll be in her style to fulfill *THREE* out of the *FOUR* preordained couples *EZRIA, HALEB, SPOBY, EMISON* but purposely breaks up one of the endgame romances just to troll the fanbase. I will be here eating my popcorn when the Twitter meltdowns happen of course.

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