Welcome to a very special adulterer’s edition of Pretty Little Liars! Join us in our 6B finale recap as we discuss who is the biggest cheater cheater boyfriend stealer. This recap also contains twin twists, evil husbands & SPALEB NUDITY.
And then you find out your husband is actually an evil sociopathic scumbag scamming you for all your money lolwhoops! Not only that, but he was also secretly in love with your deranged pseudo sister! Did I mention this douchebag tried to murder you a few episodes ago and pushed you down the stairs!? Oh Alison, you poor thing, let’s hope you signed a prenup!
Your husband is evil, Alison!
To be fair, I think we all knew the Alison x Elliott marriage was doomed from the start. It’s hard to have high expectations when the climax of your love story is a random shotgun wedding officiated by Aria Montgomery in the sacred grounds of her front porch. Talk about setting yourself up for failure, y’know?
Is it just me, or did anybody else mishear this line and thought he said COOCH and/or CROTCH instead??? The first time I watch this scene, I swear I heard him ask *R U SURE U WANNA REST ON UR CROTCH* and almost did a spit take. Either my ears were malfunctioning, or Dr. Rollins slipped up with his Brrrrritish accent right there. I guess when you’re an evil mofo, even the way you enunciate certain words come out sounding more diabolical than intended. *lol*
Of course, Alison was scared shitless when she saw visions of her dead mother, which is kinda funny because didn’t she pull the exact same stunt in the first few seasons? Remember all those times the Holy Ghost DiLaurentis appeared in a ~misty dream~ or a ~foggy hallucination~ back when her friends thought she was dead? Um yeah, Alison is finally experiencing first-hand how annoying that shit can be. lol it’s karma bitch!
Hey, I’m not here to judge Alison’s kinky sexual fantasies. I totally get it, gurl. And for the record, I had the exact same dream as Alison last night, except Detective Wilden was only wearing a leopard print bikini and it got a bit X-rated in my version.
Alison: HE TOUCHED ME! I FELT IT!!!
WOW. Talk about TMI. There’s no need to brag and describe your sexual fantasies in such graphic detail. I don’t care if you felt a rapturous orgasm, Alison! Nobody wanna hear about your erotic dreams of necrophilia!
Alison: *on the phone* Hello!? Is someone there!?
Jessica: Did you miss me?
AND GUESS WHAT, ALISON??? THE CALL IS COMING FROM **INSIDE** THE HOUSE!!! Despite Elliott & Zombie Jessica stealing the most overused clichés from a crappy horror flick, Alison still falls for the oldest trick in the book and believes her house is haunted. Welp, I need me a poltergeist to exorcise the bad demons! WHERE U AT, GHOSTBUSTERS!!!
Now, you’d think the combination of *a romantic dinner* + *an emotional conversation* + *sleeping over in the same house* would lead to some precious Emison fanservice in this scene. Yet, nothing happened between them in this PLL finale! Shockingly, it is possible for two former lovers to share a moment together without an overwhelming impulse to jump each other’s bones! Who knew some people would have the restraint to not cheat on their partners at the first possible opportunity!? *looking at u ezria* *u too haleb*
Let’s pray that Ezria’s book is a COLOSSAL FLOP
But oh well! It doesn’t matter if they don’t write out a single damn word, because I know the sheer power of Ezria’s love will surely generate a bestselling novel!!!
Ezra: *sobbing* I’ll never get to see her again…
Okay, just stop. We never even saw this bitch in the first place, so it makes no difference if her character never appears again. I don’t understand why they make such a big fuss over Nicole, who was only in two episodes and then seemingly disappeared for two centuries. Characters often come and go on this show, but you don’t see me crying over wherever the hell Holden or Talia or Sean disappeared off to. Do we need to file a missing person report for every minor irrelevant PLL character who goes into the dark abyss?
Emily: You’re writing a book with a guy you used to be in love with, and it’s about his relationship with his dead girlfriend.
Poor Nicole isn’t even referred to by name anymore. Her character is simply reduced to “his dead girlfriend”. It makes you wonder whether Emily still remembers some of her other friends from the past, such as Maya. Oh, that dead girl I used to date, what was her name again?
UGH JUST STOP!!! It only seems complicated because Aria is a messy two-timin’ ho who insists on dragging along Liam despite having zero interest in him. This bitch needs to stop milking *EZRIA DRAMA* when there aren’t any. Just dump Liam already and go crawl back into the sewage dump with your beloved Ezra, okay problem solved. From the way Aria is treating Liam right now, it makes no difference if his character got abducted by Columbian revolutionaries and was never to be seen again!
Aria: That is SO Jillian! I know that she can’t tell anyone bad news to their face, which means she loved your chapters and she hated mine. Of course, I should’ve known she would never give me a fair shot! No, seriously, who DIED and appointed her the expert on literature!? Let’s remember this is the same woman who published This Snail’s Life!
Clearly, someone doesn’t know how to take constructive criticism! Mind you, this is Aria’s reaction before she heard Jillian’s feedback. Lord knows what she’d do once her novel comes out and it is universally panned by the critics. One bad book review later and Aria might transform into fucking Godzilla before our very own eyes!
Aria is so overjoyed by her pre-emptive success that she gives Ezra a huge celebratory kiss! We did it, Ezra! Smooch, smooch, smooch! At one point, Aria momentarily remembered that she still had a boyfriend and pretended to pull away in shock. But then, this cheating hoor was like *lmao wut conscience* and continued making out with Ezra anyway. This is hardly surprising. Aria’s boyfriends only exist just so she can cheat on them.
I know this isn’t the first time Aria cheated on a boyfriend before, but poor Liam. He has been nothing but sweet and precious towards his irrational girlfriend and this is the thanks that he gets!? Ugh Aria, you’re the worst.
Caleb is a cheating whore
With that said, I’m definitely here for ALL DA DRAMAZ. From the moment Spencer and Caleb got together, nobody expected Hanna to step aside, wave a white flag, and clap politely as a bridesmaid at Spaleb’s future wedding. Um, hell no. All along, we knew this bitch was gonna put on her battle gear and duel Spencer to the death to win back her man. This was an inevitable catfight since the season started and I’m so hyped about it! As Claudius Templesmith once said, “Let the games begin!!!”
Caleb: Can you even wear underwear with a dress that tight?
Spencer: I’m glad that you care enough to be concerned about my panties.
Caleb: Well, I’m concerned about a lot more than your panties.
Okay Spencer, now try saying that exact same line again while your father is pounding on the other side of the door! *lol* FYI Papa Hastings, I don’t think you wanna enter into your daughter’s bedroom until she picked up all the used condoms from the floor.
Maybe it’s sexy for a preteen going through puberty to watch Spencer pick a wedgie out of her butt, or Caleb stuff his sausage & meatballs into a pair of jeans. Personally, I feel like a voyeur invading their privacy. Why are you showing me Spaleb getting dressed? Should I look away? Or should I cover my eyes and peek through my fingers instead? Kinda awks!
Spencer: I LOVE YOU.
Caleb doesn’t even have the decency to lie through his teeth and pretend their relationship is anything more than a fun little fling that he started out of boredom. So, he just stands there chuckling nervously in the world’s most awkward silence ever. Poor Spencer was more exposed now in this moment than she was standing in a pair of extra small panties. Very awks!
Hanna: *strikes a battle pose* Yeah, well, I trust Caleb.
She might as well have said: *IT’S WAR, BITCH!!!* I’d like to remind everyone that Hanna gave her full blessing and even sent a flower bouqet to Spaleb’s ribbon cutting ceremony before gifting away her ex-boyfriend. But in her defense, Hanna never said that Spencer would get to keep him forever. Please return your borrowed boyfriend back to the library before the due date, Miss Hastings!
Hanna: *glares at Spencer* I trust Caleb.
Spencer: *glares back* I do too.
Hey Spencer, you may want to think twice before saying that statement, lolwhoops!
Hanna is still proceeding with her utterly absurd plan to confess to a murder that she didn’t commit. I don’t know what this bitch is planning, but all I know is that nothing good will come out of her hare-brained, half-baked, stoooooopid scheme. Sure, go ahead and admit to Amoji (nickname courtesy of Caleb tyvm) that you killed Charlotte! I’m absolutely sure that your foolproof entrapment plan will work perfectly without a hitch, Mastermind Marin!
Hanna: *starts chuckling*
Caleb: What’s so funny? Do I have a plumber’s crack or something?
Hanna: No, your crack is covered.
I don’t know what’s worse: this dumbass plan or Haleb coyly flirting with each other. Ugh, I can’t even deal with these two heartbreaking, homewrecking, hemorrhaging sluts!!!
Hanna: W-what do you mean?
Caleb: About Lucas’ offer.
Hanna: Oh, right. Um…yeah, I mean, there’s still a lot to think about.
For a moment there, Caleb caught Hanna off-guard and this bitch thought he was asking whether she made a decision between choosing her ex-boyfriend or her fiancé. *lol it’s so true don’t even deny it* If Hanna can barely remember who Jordan is, I highly doubt she gives two shits about Lucas y’know? Even though that little nerd is basically giving her a million dollars just to buy clothes for herself, he’s still barely a two-second afterthought at the back of her mind. Goddamnit Hanna, how much more free money do I have to give you before you finally acknowledge me!!! [/Lucas]
Ezra: *raises eyebrow* I’m gonna run a test on the lights. Aria, could you give me a hand?
Aria: *shifty eyes* Um, yeah, sure.
Could the two of them be any more obvious with their *code* lolz? Normally, Ezra and Aria would just do it right here in the motel room, but I guess Hanna and Caleb must have called dibs on the king-sized bed first. Sorry, there’s only enough room for one set of cheaters in this motel, so you’ll have to go elsewhere to have an affair!
Hanna is also a cheating whore
Caleb: Have I ever let you down before?
Hanna: No. *dramatic sigh* But I’ve let you down. The night of our big fight. The night we broke up. *teary-eyed glaze* If I haven’t left you that night, things could be so different now…
Oh Caleb, I’m such a broken bird! I’m like a shattered vase! I’m just a wilting flower! And I need you to heal all the emotional wounds in my heart!
Okay, just kidding. Are we forgetting the fact that Hanna is (erm, was) just a crappy fashion assistant on the absolute bottom of the food chain? I’m sure the fashion industry won’t fall apart at its seams without Hanna there to mop floors and put away chairs at the event venues. I’m glad she’s being responsible about her work, but her decision is basically like giving up a trip around the world just so she wouldn’t lose her part-time job working at McDonald’s.
Caleb: If you go, I’m not gonna be here when you get back!
Hanna: ok bye fool~
Of course, Hanna sat inside a traffic jam for approximately three seconds before she already got bored of her job. *lol* In a dramatic moment, Hanna jumped out of the cab and began running in the rain because our heroine realized she made the second worst decision of her life! The worst decision is obviously not bringing an umbrella in this type of weather. Gurrrrl, you’re getting your hair wet and ruining your mascara!
You should’ve ran faster, ya slowpoke! DID YOU EVEN LOVE HIM, HANNA!? I think we all know the answer to that question, because this bitch could’ve followed him to the airport, but she chose to stay put and wallow in self-pity instead. I love you Caleb, but I’m not willing to run in the rain again! I don’t wanna catch a cold!
Personally, I’ve a hard time believing Caleb’s wardrobe consists of anything more than three t-shirts and a pair of jeans (and nothing else, since we already know he goes commando), so the real mystery is where did the other 50% of Hanna’s clothes go???
Wow, I’ll never be able to understand how Hanna can tell this BOLD-FACED LIE while she looks Caleb straight in the eye. Okay, let’s count all of the instances when the power of Haleb’s love continued to persevere:
“Yes, I’ll marry you Jordan!” Hanna exclaims, while she never stopped loving Caleb.
“Yes, do me from behind Jordan!” Hanna exclaims, while she never stopped loving Caleb.
“Yes, you can date him Spencer because I don’t have feelings for him anymore!” Hanna exclaims, while she never stopped loving Caleb.
WHAT. THE. FUCK. ARE. THESE. TWO. SLUTS. DOING. I MEAN, FUCKING COME ON! *points finger* YOU’RE ENGAGED. *points finger* AND YOU’VE A GIRLFRIEND. *points* AND SHE’S ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS TOO!!! THIS IS NOT OK! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY!!! IF YOU ARE SO DESPERATE TO GET BACK TOGETHER, FIRST YOU BREAK YOUR PARTNERS’ HEARTS AND THEN YOU TWO CAN KISS! IT’S NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! CHEATERS! ADULTERERS! WHOOORRRRRES!!!
Once a cheater, always a cheater. We should’ve known that Caleb motherfucker had a history of cheating on his girlfriends in the past. You may not remember dat Ravenswood ho, but I still remember what happened the last time he got into a *love triangle* with him, Hanna & Miranda. It was messy as fuck. LADIES, STAY AWAY FROM CALEB RIVERS. This love rat cheated once, he cheated twice, and he will continue cheating on you again and again and again and again…
To be honest, I’m totally over the whole *HALEB vs. SPALEB* love triangle just because it’s so clear Hanna x Caleb are in the wrong that it’s making me hate their characters a little. I’m sorry to say this, but Hanna is a FUCKING FILTHY BITCH WHO NEEDS TO BE SLAPPED. Ok there, I’m done. I’m done with Hanna, I’m done with Caleb, I’m done with their messy relationship drama, and I’m definitely done with Team Spaleb. Let those two unfaithful cheaters get back together for all I care, they deserve each other whereas Spencer deserves better. I AM OFFICIALLY **DONE** WITH THIS STORYLINE, BYE.
On a lighter final note, can we congratulate Hanna for winning this war? She came, she conquered, and she succeeded at getting the guy in the end. Her tactics may not have been pretty, but hey all’s fair in love and war. LOSERS 2 DA LEFT, THIS LOVE TRIANGLE IS 4 WINNERS ONLY. Go ahead and mount that champion’s flag on Caleb’s naked body, Hanna! YOU DID IT GURL WOOT WOOT!
Toby’s secret love affair is EXPOSED
I’m kinda rooting for Toby to cheat as well! Just because it’d be HILARIOUS if all the PLL couples committed adultery in the finale. C’mon, admit it. There’s a part of you that wants to see it happen. Then again, I think cheating would have ruined the ESSENCE OF TOBY. Now that Caleb is a slut, Elliott is an evil mofo, Ezra is still Ezra, while Jordan & Liam are irrelevant, Toby’s character jumps up in everybody’s estimations and becomes the best boyfriend simply by default? I dunno, I’m desperately grasping at straws here, but please just let there be ONE not-so-shitty boyfriend on the show!
EVIDENCE ONE: Why are you holding your ex-girlfriend’s hand, sir!!! Is this not the most weirdly intimate way to pass a cup to another person? Why are their fingers intertwined together? What the fuck!? I SEE YOU, CHEATERS!!!
Toby: When Yvonne and I were in Paris, I thought I was pointing at an éclair on the menu. Then, the waiter brought out a bucket of snails…
Spencer: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Oh Toby.
Toby: J’ai eu un bon professeur.
The funniest part is that Spencer thought Toby was a total dummy and didn’t even expect him to understand what she was saying. In other words, Spencer was just being smug and patronizing when she flaunted her multilingual skills needlessly. *lmao* Since Toby’s new glasses gave him extra stat points in Intelligence, he’s actually able to keep up with Spencer’s jibber-jabber in French: “Un, deux, trois! Je parle français aussi!”
Toby: I don’t wanna lie to you, Yvonne! So please don’t ask me again!
Yvonne: Do you hear how that sounds!? A month ago, we were having conversations about building a future together. And now, you can’t even answer a simple question.
If you’re gonna go behind your fiancée’s back to fool around with another woman, at least come up with a decent explanation beforehand. Toby was like “g2g leaving u 4 spencer” while expecting Yvonne to send him off with a packet of condoms and her best wishes.
Yvonne: I won’t let you turn me into the woman who says pick me, not her!
At this point, Yvonne already knows she’s gonna lose against Spencer in this love triangle, so she automatically forfeits and spares everyone the manufactured drama. Yvonne also tells us that she has too much class and dignity to fight over a guy, which is good for her but bad for us. You aren’t willing to get into a catfight and bitchslap a ho!? Then what are you doing here on this show!? Go back on your high horse and get the fuck outta here, Yvonne!
Elderly Lady: Oh! Thank you, pretty eyes!
Wow, look at that saucy cougar go! I think she may have slipped him her digits while the two of them were holding hands. See you at bingo night in the retirement home, ya stud! Yvonne should spend less time worrying about Spencer and more time keeping an eye on this other budding romance instead!
Meet your next president, Veronica Hastings
Spencer: You must be, because I can’t think of another reason why you’d be CRAZY enough to show up here.
Mona: Really, Spencer? From one ex-Radley patient to another, I think you’d be a little more sensitive to that word.
LOLLLL. ALL MONA x SPENCER INTERACTIONS GIVE ME LYFE. I love that you can try insulting Mona, but she’ll just take your diss and effortlessly throw it back in your face.
Spencer: Is it that you want my mother to win or that you want Phillips to lose?
Mona: Look, Spencer, I’m not the enemy! I haven’t been for a long time!
Mona shows up at Hastings HQ and acts like she wanna switch allegiances. Since the Phillips campaign messed with the wrong bitch by firing her from the post, Mona is gonna jump ships and join the Hastings campaign instead. Spencer must be, because I can’t think of another reason why she’d be CRAZY enough to actually accept the demon imp’s help??? UM HELLO, she’s *blatantly* a mole ordered by that pesky bitch Yvonne to steal information, wreak havoc, and sabotage the enemy camp from within! Why would you even trust her, Spencer, were you born yesterday!?!?!?
Peter: *to his wife* I would just like to say, win or lose, you ran a smart, passionate campaign. And I couldn’t be more proud of you. *to his daughter* Or you, Spence! You… *long pause* You…erm, you really stepped up when your mom needed you!
I don’t mean to be rude, but can someone point out what Spencer actually did in the campaign? Other than cause scandal after scandal that miraculously did not demolish Veronica’s chances of winning, that is. Good job, Spencer! You worked so hard at almost jeopardizing your mother’s campaign, we couldn’t be more proud of you!
Congratulations on winning the election, President Hastings. Your first order of business is to put this sparkly diamond studded tiara on your head. Okay, you are now officially sworn into office, congrats again gurl!
Spoby’s underground adventure reminds me of a classic RPG video game, where you control your party of characters through a dark dungeon to fight monsters, collect items, and complete some type of quest to proceed to the next stage of the game. When a random monster spawns in front of them, Toby pulls out his gun and engages in combat. Do you use a physical move, use a magical move, use an item from your inventory, or try running away from battle? Select your move now, Player One!
Spencer: Mona!? Are you still stalking us!?
ZOMG A WILD MONA APPEARS! I dunno why Toby put down his gun afterwards? Personally, I would’ve fired a round of bullets and shot her anyway. Yes, we should’ve known it was that pesky troll Mona lurking underground with the rest of her native species. She appeared in this scene for the sole purpose of *cockblocking* Spoby just when they were about to hook up with each other. TROLOLOLOL NO CHEATING FOR YOU!
In this case file, we discover that Charlotte was actually ADOPTED. It turns out Mama DiLaurentis has a sister named Mary Drake, who was Charlotte’s real birth mother instead. This is a very important plot development since everyone thought Jason was porking his sister all along, but we were so mistaken! It’s not legitimate incest, it’s COUSINCEST instead!
ZOMG *ACTUAL* TWIN TWIST!!!
Alison got so spooked that she closed her eyes and simply willed the ghosts to go away. To be honest, I dunno why’s she so scared? Take a page from Buffy & the Winchester brothers to learn the proper way to deal with these undead spirits, y’know? Imagine how Zombie Wilden would’ve reacted if Alison threw a shoe at him or charged forward with a knife. Hey, if you’re a real ghost, you wouldn’t mind if I killed you again just to make sure you stay dead this time!
Emily: Um…I dunno?
First of all, Elliott got some cheek making a fake phone call and playing the role of the concerned husband, even though he was the one who wore a Halloween costume and scared off Alison. *phony American accent* EMUHLEE, WHERE’S MUH WYFE. Bitch please, you know exactly where she is.
Second of all, is Emily the worst babysitter ever? She had one job for the day, which is to keep her friend safe and sound during the finale. Instead, Emily decides this is the perfect time to go vote in the election, maybe do a little grocery shopping, stop by the gas station to leaf through some magazines, check into the hair salon for a three o’clock appointment, and then head back home only to find ALISON IS MISSING ZOMG.
Alison: I knew they wouldn’t follow me here. I deserve it! This is my punishment! They came back for me, and they’re gonna take me straight to hell!
I love how Alison doesn’t even consider there’s a possibility that her dead mother could be looking down at her from heaven. This bitch just automatically assumes there’ll be a big cozy family reunion in the deepest depths of hell.
OKAY WTF. I know this bitch is losing her sanity, but it’s kind of a huge leap going from *welp i see dead people* to *lobotomize me in a straightjacket plz*. Um, are you sure you don’t wanna try therapy or counselling first? Or what about a house exorcism? There are other options available besides the loony bin, Alison!
Emily: *to the nurse* Can we have a moment?
Sadly no, because there was a shocking lack of #EMISON moments in this particular episode. It’s unusual considering all the blatant fanservice for the other (heterosexual) PLL couples in the finale. Here’s Ezria jumping each other’s bones, and there’s Haleb going at it like savages, and even Spoby was flirting up a storm with each other, but the only Emison moment was like *deporting you into an asylum byeeeees*.
Emily: If you need anything…
Alison: Love you.
Emily: Love you too.
Emison even exchanged ILU and ILU2 with each other, but we still didn’t see any hanky panky between them. It doesn’t get any more romantic than giving a declaration of love to your deluded friend before she checks herself into the psych ward, am I wrong? Who else thinks a magical kiss from Emily would’ve cured Alison from all her crazy and brought her back to her senses? One smooch later, and Ali would be like “Oh wow, I don’t need meds! I need vadge!” and then the two of them could skip off into the sunset living happily ever after.
I have no idea how Alison could hear this statement and still didn’t run for the hills??? Bitch, you’re basically signing your entire life away just because you saw a couple of hokey pokey hallucinations!? I was watching this scene in absolute disbelief, thinking any moment that she would turn around and go like “LOL JUST KIDDING!”, but no she went ahead and actually institutionalized herself. Alison, seriously, what the fuck are you doing!? This makes no sense whatsoever. STOP IT GURL WTF.
It turns out Dr. Rollins is a GHOST, or at least he’s pretending to be one in disguise. Guess what, Luke Skywalker!? I’m not Detective Wilden, I’m Darth Vader…WEARING. A. MASK. ZOMGGGGG!!!!!
It’s actually Dr. Rollins underneath that mask! Naturally, every PLL fan in the world speculates this mofo must be wearing a second mask and it’s still Wren in disguise. Obvious plot twist is obvious, y’know? However, PLL decided it must be 2 EARLY 2 SOON to reveal Wren’s real identity in the finale, so let’s play along and pretend this Brrrrritish imposter is simply just “Dr. Elliott Rollins”, surrrre. *wink wink*
And it turns out Mama DiLaurentis is the one with a twin! Meet Jessica DiLaurentis and her identical twin sister, Mary Drake! This twist is hilarious, simply because all those filthy cheaters who read the PLL books have been soooo smug over the past six years, dropping *hints* everywhere about how *Alison* must be the one with a twin. LOLNOT. Just like how the Mayan calendar predicted the end of the world a few years ago, it turns out that you and your beloved book gospel were wrong all along!
In fact, I want even more twins on this show! You get a twin, you get a twin, every character gets a twin! For starters, Caleb definitely needs a twin brother, so we can give one to Hanna and save the other one for Spencer. Hooray, we just solved the love triangle conundrum!
Elliott: Yes, Mary, I control 51% of Carissimi now!
Mary: You’re the only man my daughter ever loved.
Elliott: I would’ve done anything for Charlotte.
Mary: Elliott, you proved that when you married her cousin. We’ve finally taken back what was supposed to be mine. And that’s what our Charlotte would’ve wanted.
I love how Elliott and Mary kept addressing each other by name, in case the PLL viewers got confused over who their characters are. This leads to some pretty awkward dialogue along the lines of: *YES, MARY, I’M AN EVIL BASTARD* and *ELLIOTT, YOU PROVED THAT WHEN YOU RIPPED OFF YOUR MASK*.
RIP Hanna Marin
In the end, their plan is a complete bust. They didn’t manage to electrocute a single fly with their goddamn fence. Does that thing even work properly!? I volunteer Ezra to test it out with his bare hands!
Ezra: Caleb, who would’ve thought to do that?
holylol @ dat reaction. Caleb’s facial expression looks like somebody just said they don’t have any toys left for him in his McDonalds happy meal. I know he’s aggro because his mistress just got kidnapped, but there’s no need to get so huffy. Even Ezra and Aria were both looking at him afterwards going like *whoa serious rage issues* and they would know based on first-hand experience. Maybe take it down a notch, bro???
WHY THE HELL DID YOU BRING HER HERE!?!?!?!?
lololololded. That’s the exact same reaction I would have upon seeing Mona anywhere, by the way. I just love how much Caleb HATES the demon imp with every fibre of his body. She didn’t even have to say or do anything before he’s already cursing her out hardcore lmfao.
Ugh seriously, fuck this guy. I hope Spencer remembers this exact moment when she breaks up with him next season. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and I hope she remembers it well when this bitch slaps him across the face, scratches his eyes out, and kicks him in the balls. After watching this finale, I am of the opinion that CALEB RIVERS DESERVES PAIN.
Thanks for giving me Hanna. You’re free to go. – A.D.
ZOMG WHO IS A.D.!!!!! Prepare to spend the rest of the offseason wading through hundreds and thousands of online speculation theories about AD’s real identity, which range from “Andrew Drake” to “Aria’s Dad” to “A Dog”. Your guess is as good as mine. Personally, I’m not gonna bother guessing because I’ve been burned by this show too many times before. Just watch them introduce a new filler character named Anastasia DiLaurentis-Drake next season and all your theories will go down the drain.
Unfortunately, we must say goodbye to a departing main character next season, because HANNA MARIN IS DEAD. In the final moments of the finale, we see A drag her unconscious body on the floor, and there’s a splotch of blood (or ketchup?) near her lips. Yup, the bitch is certified dead! Well, I guess that’s *one* way to resolve a love triangle. RIP Hanna Marin! I’ll be sure to wear a black veil at your funeral!