Season 5 Episode 3, Pretty Little Liars Recap, Surfing the Aftershocks

Season 5 Episode 3, Pretty Little Liars Recap
Season 5 Episode 3, Pretty Little Liars Recap
Season 5 Episode 3, Pretty Little Liars Recap
Pretty Little Liars Recap Season 5 Episode 2
Episode Highlights:

WARNING: This PLL episode recap contains many lesbian fantasy flashbacks that might make your nose bleed and your panties slightly moist. Viewer discretion is advised.

Episode Grade: B- (Not bad!)
Alison is moping over her mother's death.

Alison’s awkward funeral moments
Does Alison even care that her mom is dead?
Alison goes through many wardrobe changes during her grieving process.
Is Hanna wearing a tiny cocktail dress to a funeral!?
Alison is wearing her dead mother's funeral dress.
The pretty little liars have PERFECT FASHION MEMORY and can remember every dress that you wore.
Alison didn't even cry at funerals when she was seven years old.
This strange painting strangely spooked Alison for some strange reason.
The funeral director also has an awkward moment when he mixes up Hanna and Alison.
Aison and Hanna are practically twins, amirite?

Hanna’s lesbian fantasies
Hanna x Mona lesbian fantasies are my everything.
Mona and Hanna are stripping and dressing each other.
Hanna asks Emily what it is like to come out as a lesbian.
Hanna and Mona waltz down the school hallway like it's a fashion walkway.
Even Emily is questioning what these lesbians are doing.
Hanna is having an identity crisis!
Hanna decides to have a brand new hairdo!
Mona is being a deliberate troll as always.
Janel is on Dancing With the Stars!
Ezria: *fleeting glance*
Mona is trolling Aria hardcore and throwing shade everywhere.
Aria insists that she's done with Ezra forever. Riiiiight.
NO MORE EZRIA'S FLEETING GLANCES.
Ezra changed the locks in his apartment to keep his crazy ex-girlfriend out.
Alison and Ezra definitely had casual sex before, right?
Alison is the biggest EZRIA APOLOGIST ever, yuck.
Aria has no restraint and basically delivered herself to Ezra's apartment..
Ezra claims that he is not a criminal.
Aria confesses murder to Ezra!

Mysterious transfer student Sydney!
Another mysterious transfer student, this one is named Sydney Driscoll.
Sydney is Emily's #1 fan and watched all her swimming videos.
Sydney is also on the swim team.
Just take drugs, Sydney! Say yes to drugs!
Paige awkwardly hitting on Emily with her swimming analogies lol
Paige is trying to win back Emily, but Emily is not having any of it!
Poor Paige gets rejected by Emily once again.
MOAR Hastings accusations & drama
The dog must have killed Jessica DiLaurentis!
Spencer defends Jason just because of dat beautiful face.
Papa DiLaurentis is just taunting his recovering alcoholic son.
The pretty little liars are convinced that Jason is the murderer.
Spencer's dad is also considered a guilty suspect.
Spencer got a hold of Jessica's mysterious unsent e-mail message.
Spencer is convinced that a scrap piece of paper holds all the answers to the mysteries of this show.
Melissa speaks crazy as always.
Melissa proclaiming another woman is crazy without recognizing the irony.
Papa Hastings doesn't let Melissa confess about her murder.
Read more recaps!

34 Responses

  1. Default avatar Maryann September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

    OH GURL. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. I AM CRYING WITH JOY, NEVA EVA LEAVE ME AGAIN.
    Hilarious recap. The Hanna/Mona scenes were my everything. It breaks my heart that they’ll never be together.

    “Second of all, ughhh, we all knew this would happen, but PLL is in full swing trying to redeem his character and turn him into a ~*good guy*~ again” ZOMG PLL keeps redeeming the girls’ boyfriends even when they act like complete dicks. Do these girls have NO self esteem? Wtf. Next Caleb will turn out to be a serial killer and will kill the entire Fitzgerald family, and they’ll act like he’s some hero. (On second though, no Ezra would be pretty darn good)

    I hate how mean Emily’s being to Paige, and I think Paige deserves 2000x better, but their scenes in the finale were pretty cute so, meh.

    If you leave again I will be so heartbroken that I’ll A) Trash your apartment B) Listen to Elliot Smith and cry in the bathtub C) Keep reading your recaps and cry in the dark D) Stare at a bowl of fruit?
    It is your choice.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      GURRRRL. My relationship with this blog is like Aria’s relationship with Ezra. Every so often, I need to break up with my readers and separate for no reason, before inevitably getting back together a while later again. This vicious cycle will never end~~~

      To be fair, this is the same show that turned Paige from *psychotic bully* into a *lovesick woobie* back in Season 1 so they’ve been pulling this stunt since the beginning of time. Sadly, they did the same thing with Caleb this season already. Remember how he basically abandoned Hanna and cheated on her with dat Ravenswood harlot, but she still immediately took him back without any reservations? Like wtf. These pretty little liars need to learn SELF-RESPECT. :(

      I’m so torn between Emily x Paige and Emily x Alison. On one hand, I feel like Paige is a decent human being who has a much more positive influence on Emily, so the two of them should be together and have a normal teenage relationship. On the other hand, Emily’s scenes with Alison are so goddamn epic with all the seduction and mind games and emotional manipulation. I’m horrified by their dysfunctional relationship, but I’m also oddly intrigued and riveted at the same time?

  2. Default avatar I Luv U REcap EveryTHANG September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

    Lol, did you know you repeated the same part twice? Hehehe
    Hilarious as always gurl, I luv u so much!! Ahhhh!!

    But forreal, you’re amazing at these and I can’t wait for more to come <3

    • Default avatar Recap Everything September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      In my rush to get this recap up as soon as possible (lol), I messed up the formatting and posted the same part twice. It’s fixed now! Thank you for your contribution to Recap Everything’s technical support department. <3

      I LUV U 2~~~ and I'm hoping to steamroll through the rest of the Season 5 recaps as time permits.

  3. Default avatar Erinsgirl September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

    I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.

    In fairness Hanna’s funeral dress is still more tasteful than her previous choices see Wilden’s boobtastic ensemble and the ‘not-a-Nicki-Minaj-concert’ one for Ian’s.

    Mona!

    Totally agree with you on Paily.

    ‘Personally, I think Mama DiLaurentis dragged her daughter to the funerals because she noticed the psychopathic behavior early on and wanted to verify if Alison actually had a soul.’ I’d believe this if I wasn’t convinced that as pure evil-spawn Alison got her soullessness from her mother. Evil’s inherited you know.

    Once Spencer remembers that Jason’s good looks and severe dependency issues come from her family (who are 89% guilty of everything more terrible than a parking ticket) and Alison’s family (who are 98% pure devil) she’ll be back to accusing him in no time. Although it’s nice of Spencer to protest to people for 5 seconds that her relatives are not shifty power-hungry demons before accusing them of everything under the sun. Family deserve the pretense of doubt to outsiders at least. And the Hastings are overachievers. If they’re mass murderers they’re going to make sure its done properly remembered. See Melissa’s Borgia v deMedici comment. They have standards!

    Besides we all know Pepe was hired by the funeral director. Seriously that guy’s business must be booming for such a small town. Where else is murder so lucrative. A probably even pays him for the doll caskets he/she/bitch keeps sending the Liars.

    Also wtf was Aria thinking telling Ezra Shana was dead. He doesn’t need to hang a bunch of cameras everywhere Aria just tells him everything anyway. Talk about overdoing things. Thank god you and your recaps are back to help us through and hopefully Alison’s such a big Ezria fan is because she knows its easier to kill them with Ezra’s unpublished novel together than apart.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      Yessss, I totally remember Hanna’s last couple of funeral ensembles~ Hanna always dresses up like she’s attending the post-funeral entertainment for the party and drinks afterwards. I fully expect her to show up in a black tank top & bikini bottom at the next PLL funeral.

      Mona forever!

      YAAAAAS. I love how this season completely exposed Mama DiLaurentis as the soulless demonic viper that she truly is. On second thought, she probably brought her daughter to the funerals as a *boot camp* to eradicate any remaining shred of moral conscience from Alison. “Alison, we’re hosting your 7th birthday party at your grandfather’s funeral to teach you that human sympathy is a WEAKNESS.” Also, I am suspicious that so many of Alison’s relatives died during her childhood and believe that Jessica DiLaurentis might have a hand in every one of their untimely deaths.

      The political turmoil within the Hastings-DiLaurentis family is outta control. You know Spencer only called ceasefire and defended Jason in this episode because she needed numbers against the unholy alliance of Melissa & Papa Hastings. I predict their family warfare will culminate in a mass murder-suicide with Pepe DiLaurentis as the only survivor dancing on the heap of their dead corpses.

      The funeral parlour is definitely the one of the most lucrative businesses in Rosewood, second only to the clothing manufacturer that mass produces those black hoodies.

      Aria confessed to Ezra because she has romanticised the notion of a ~*Bonnie and Clyde*~ relationship with Ezra as two criminal outlaws on the run. The more forbidden their relationship is, the more secretly thrilled Aria must feel on the inside. I’m also hoping Alison’s relentless Ezria agenda is part of a long con, perhaps to lull the two of them into a false sense of security before delivering a devastating blow to their relationship~

    • Default avatar Erinsgirl October 29th, 2014 / Wednesday

      I’d be fine with Alison being pro-Ezria if I thought she was using their relationship for her own ends. Sadly it seems to be to be pure Ezra-redemption, like Ian because despite dating every guy in the Eastern Seaboard and missing her period she apparently never had sex. Watching Ezra be torn between his jail-bait obsessions might have almost made him interesting.

      Although I’m disappointed not to see Alison try to mess with the girls’ relationships more. She did successfully play Paige and Emily. She tried with mixed results on Haleb (couldn’t get Caleb onside but managed to isolate Hanna more in general). I’m disappointed that there’s been no Toby/Ali scene though. Of all the Liars’ love interests he’s arguably the one with the most complicated history with her. A love triangle wouldn’t work (Ali got him sent to juvie and Toby wouldn’t notice if anyone stripped naked in front of him and offered him a Ferrari if they weren’t Spencer) but I’d love to see Ali try to mess with Spoby either out of resentment or ulterior motive. Pretty sure the Spencer/ Alison showdown would be epic.

      And yes to all your comments about the A/ DiLaurentis/ Hastings show. I’m waiting for the big musical showdown number a la West Side Story or Dancing With the Stars.

  4. Default avatar sara September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

    Great recap. Hope you post more soon!! Also, the last finale confirmed Ezra and Alison never had sex or anything like that. Just fyi ;)

    • Default avatar Jane September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

      Oh, Alison said they didn’t have sex? Then it must be true. LOL.
      I forgot, Alison is a vrigin who thought she was pregnat…
      because “they” didn’t use protection all the time… She was kissing someone so many times, she’d have to spent like a milion dollars for condoms… LOL
      Heh same as she didn’t have sex with Ian in HH. That camera pointed on the bed was just about kissing LOL

    • Default avatar Recap Everything September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      For the record, I do believe Alison and the Devil consummated their relationship leading to her surprise pregnancy, but I’m sure PLL will somehow depict that relationship as *just kissing* too. No hanky panky, I swear!

    • Default avatar sara September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      Jane, no the writers actually said it. Like.. all over the place lol.

    • Default avatar sara September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      I think Alison’s “I’m pregnant” story was just another lie to can attention. But if it’s not, I’m not leading towards that guy was Holbrook since he’s not acting sketchy. And because every guy on this show has to have some kind of history with Ali…

    • Default avatar sara September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      ***now leading towards Holbrook

  5. Default avatar ANoelle September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

    OMG the poll results.

    “27.27%”
    “36.36%”
    “36.36%”

    • Default avatar Recap Everything September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      FUN FACT: Whenever I post a new recap, I obsessively refresh the page every hour just to see the most up-to-date poll results. <3

  6. Default avatar recapsss September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

    YOU’RE BACK!!!!! I’m so excited!!!!

    Hanna and Mona are my everything. If they don’t get at least one lesbian flashback of them revealing that they were secret lovers and A together, I will be forever sad.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      WHEN WILL OUR HANNA X MONA FANFICTIONS BECOME A REALITY??? I mean, if PLL can retcon an imaginary relationship between Hanna and Mike, I’m sure they can do the same thing for Hanna x Mona.

  7. Default avatar Silhouette September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

    Picked the right day to get my phone back! Thank god I was dying of boredom. Can’t wait to read the rest of your great recaps!!!

    • Default avatar Recap Everything September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      Let’s make a deal. Every time you get a new phone, I’ll post a new recap.

  8. Default avatar HOC September 20th, 2014 / Saturday

    i’m glad you’re back. So much eyeroll worthy storylines await us. I guess you’ll be giving a lot of dumb bitch awards this season too.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

      Yup, we will have a ceremony announcing the five nominees for the Annual PLL Dumb Bitch Awards 2014.

  9. Default avatar sara September 21st, 2014 / Sunday

    You should make sure to do a recap on the 100th episode because that episode was pure gold.

  10. Default avatar Darkangel September 22nd, 2014 / Monday

    You’re back! Did you escape from the basement that you were being held in voluntarily?

    I love when Alison pretends she’s a real girl.

    Ezra not thinking he committed any kind of crime. HAHAHAHAHA. “Officer, I have not done anything illegal. I was just watching every breath my underage student takes, every move she makes, every bond she breaks, every step she takes, every single day…”

    Mona is completely in lesbian with Hanna.

    I love how the one continuity they pay attention to on this show after 5 seasons is, that the Hastings never turn on their freaking lights. I guess they need to feed their dark souls by living in darkness.

    With Swimfan you’d think the girls having had a million stalkers and creepers after them would start to be suspicious of random people talking to them. I’m also beginning to think that the PLL’s don’t meet any new people unless they are somehow connected to Jenna. Half of them would not have even met their love interest if it wasn’t for her. I’m waiting for the 5b reveal that Jenna and Paige were childhood besties and Ezra’s is Jenna’s half brother.

  11. Default avatar Julia September 23rd, 2014 / Tuesday

    You’re back! *hugs closely until all the other readers start accusing me of trying to seduce you*
    Ahem.

    I loved how you described Hanna and Mona’s outfits. I love everything about your recaps.

    Not sure if Emily and Paige don’t deserve each other… They take turns being mean, I guess.

    Maybe the Hastings never turn on the lights because Papa Hastings used up all their money (the money his daughters don’t spend on clothes) to pay child support for his affair offsprings or to keep people quiet? Have you considered that? They’re actually broke.

  12. Default avatar Melody September 23rd, 2014 / Tuesday

    OMG IT’S BEEN FAR TOO LONG GIRL. LIKE I NEED THESE RECAPS ASAP. I NEED THE FUNNY SPOBY COMMENTS AND HILARIOUS JOKES AND UGH. DON’T LEAVE ANYMORE!!!

  13. Default avatar ? September 29th, 2014 / Monday

    Will it be another three months before the next recap? :(

  14. Default avatar Elsa September 30th, 2014 / Tuesday

    You’re baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!! I missed you so much <3 Hilarious recap as always. Though the title of that episode is "Surfing the Aftershocks". By the way, I totally think that Mona was in love with Hanna. These scenes + the fact that she tried to stop Caleb from telling Hanna he loved her in season 1 is enough proof to me. Anyway, I love you, please don't go away for such a long time ever again or I'll have to reread your recaps in the dark while listening to sad music and covering my face in chocolate (that last part actually sound's like a good idea!)

  15. Default avatar Anonymous October 1st, 2014 / Wednesday

    I cannot WAIT until you recap the 100th episode!

  16. Default avatar Re Reader October 23rd, 2014 / Thursday

    Gurl, don’t leave us again! Miss you and your recaps!!!

  17. Default avatar Hana November 2nd, 2014 / Sunday

    PLEASE MOAR PLL RECAPS. Can you finish what has been shown of season 5 plz plz plz???

  18. Default avatar Loyal Reader November 13th, 2014 / Thursday

    Gurrrrrlllll~~ I am going crazy with no new recaps! If I go too long without your snark, I’ll explode!

  19. Default avatar Sarah November 16th, 2014 / Sunday

    I don’t think I can go on one more day without more recaps :'( Where are you?? These reaps make my life worthwhile!! Its no fun watching PLL anymore because all I think when I watch it is ‘oooh I wonder what recap everything will say about that!’ but you havent said anything! You have a lot of catching up to do :/

  20. Default avatar Once again November 17th, 2014 / Monday

    If a recapper needs to be begged, threatened, pleaded with, or bribed into doing what their site advertises they do– “recap everything” (or at least one show), it’s pretty clear to me — speaking as a fan of the snark — that their heart isn’t in it anymore. I don’t think it’s fair to be kept waiting for months on end for a single episode, and it’s frustrating that RE isn’t exactly transparent about what’s keeping them from updating regularly, *knowing* that the fans are both 1) Extremely accepting of these huge lapses, and 2) Generally very supportive. Almost like saying, “I’m fully aware that this is the kind of behavior you’re willing to accept, so I don’t feel obligated to prove you wrong”, time and time again. And it’s getting old.

    Not saying that RE is entitled to reveal information s/he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with the readers, but it’d be nice to know how serious they are about continuing to post on here, and if the updates are ever going to get more frequent. Maybe they’ve fallen out of love with PLL? I don’t know. Answers would be nice.

    • Default avatar Anon November 24th, 2014 / Monday

      Agreed. :/

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