Season 3 Episode 15, Pretty Little Liars Recap, Mona-Mania

It’s a diabolical showdown between Spencer and Mona! Lucas fesses up about A; Paige gets even crazier; and more evil secrets unravel about Aria’s dad.

HE HAS ARRIVED. Spencer’s new love interest was introduced this episode with a pair of glasses, a dimpled smile, and a bright red gift bow on top of his head. His name is Andrew, he’s part of the school’s academic decathlon team, and I’m sorry to report that his character is the final nail in the coffin for Spoby’s relationship. You don’t cast somebody who looks like THAT and assume he won’t be making out with one of the pretty little liars in the near future. It is inevitable. I highly advise you to go buy a ticket and board the #spandrew ship that will be arriving at the dock very soon.

Here’s what you need to know about Andrew:

1.) First of all, I would hit that. Oh my god, I soooo would. He looks like some kind of math tutor crafted by my perverse fantasies. I want him to do naughty things to me on top of an algebra textbook.

2.) I love how Pretty Little Liars thinks that putting a pair of glasses on a hot guy magically transforms him into a brainiac. It’s like watching Cinderella with her glass slippers. *glasses off* Guy you meet at the gym! :o) *glasses on* Guy you meet at the library! :o)

3.) Andrew carries an uncanny physical resemblance to Jason DiLaurentis from certain angles. It’s as if they cloned Drew Van Acker, smacked a pair of glasses on him, and renamed his character Andrew.

4.) Andrew has a habit of putting on his glasses when he reads and taking them off when he’s having a *moment* with Spencer. It’s annoying to watch his obvious theatrics. “OH I NEED TO LOOK INTELLECTUAL” *whips on glasses* and then five seconds later: “OH I NEED TO GAZE LOVINGLY INTO SPENCER’S EYES” *whips off glasses* What a poser. Wear contact lenses, asshole.

Originally, Spencer was gonna be the captain of the decathlon team by default, since none of the other students dared to cross her warpath. Do you know who else runs unopposed in an election? A DICTATOR. Why am I not surprised that Spencer has a completely totalitarian grasp over her minions in this club? She even has a loyal posse of nerds under her master command!

But wait, a new challenger appears! Mona suddenly joins the club and runs for the team captain position for the sole purpose of antagonizing Spencer. DRAAAAMA~~~

Andrew: Team Captain, running for position, Spencer Hastings…and Mona Vanderwaal.
Spencer: *whips head around* OK WHYYYY!?!?

Okay, is that not the most hilariously entitled reaction ever? Spencer was literally going WHYYYYY!?!? as if it’s such an absurd notion that anyone would challenge her authority. Just to put it into context, can you imagine if President Obama looked at his political opponent and went like OK WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AGAINST ME!? *lmao*

Mona: I played dumb for a really long time, Spencer. Not going to do that anymore. This is a chance for me to show people who I really am. I kept up with my schoolwork while I was…away.

My favourite part during Mona’s speech is when they cut to a shot of this sassy student who goes like BITCH I AM NOT IMPRESSED. *eyebrow raise + head throw + finger snap* Oh my god, diva! I don’t know who he is, but this guy is such a scene stealing goddess lmao.

FYI, I REFUSE TO LABEL HIM AS THE GAY GUY JUST BECAUSE OF HIS MANNERISMS. HOW DARE YOU PERPETUATE STEREOTYPES THAT ARE SO SENSITIVE TO TODAY’S FRAGILE YOUTHS!? SHAME ON YOU. SHAME ON ALLLLL OF YOU.

…with that said, how blatantly obvious is it that he has a crush on Andrew? You can see all the *lust* and *desire* in his eyes every time he sneaks a glance when he thinks nobody is looking. I bet he only joined the club to get some precious one-on-one face time, but Andrew is unfortunately Spencer’s designated love interest, which makes this the greatest unrequited love story never told in my fantasy PLL world…for a character whose name I don’t even know. ;_;

Spencer reluctantly gives up her dreams of an unchallenged dictatorship and allows a democratic vote to take place between the two candidates. I find it hilarious that the other female team members *immediately* cast their votes for Mona, which means they’d rather vote for the deranged psychopath over that bitch who was in the club from the beginning. Let’s face it, these girls weren’t voting for Mona as much as they were voting against Spencer. Their votes were essentially the biggest implicit FUCK YOU to Spencer ever, and I think they would have voted for an ~*empty chair*~ given a choice.

Spencer thinks she got her fanboy vote locked down, but then she gets screwed over IN THE BIGGEST BLINDSIDE EVER when one of the nerds suddenly votes for Mona instead! *gasps* Holy crap, that is some Big Brother level of backhanded betrayal right there! You know how there’s always that one player who strays from their alliance and betrays everybody at the last possible moment? HE IS TOTALLY THAT GUY.

I created a neat little visualization of the vote tally because high school politics is fascinating shit~~~

Am I the only one who noticed that all of the WOMEN and MINORITIES voted for Mona? :O At first, I just assumed she blackmailed and bribed her way into getting these votes, but Pretty Little Liars might have inadvertently made a profound political statement about sociocultural trends. (lol not rly, can you imagine finding subliminal cultural messages in a show like Pretty Little Liars? The content here is as shallow as the water in my bathtub.) Of course, there’s also an unfortunate implication since all of Spencer’s votes came from the three white guys of the club, so make of that as you will.

The shocking betrayal causes a voting deadlock, so the tiebreaker is a ~*quiz-off*~ where the two candidates will answer trivia questions and the highest scorer will become the team captain. This leads to my favourite part of the scene when Spencer spits out the words “GOOD LUCK” with the intensity of somebody getting her teeth pulled out one by one. She said it in the same way you’d wish good luck on your nemesis while secretly hoping that a block of cement falls on their head. Spencer’s delivery was just pitch perfect~

Afterwards, A sends a text message warning Spencer to *gtfo*: “Quit while you’re ahead Bitch. – A”. LMAO~ I love how A threw in that extra “Bitch” for emphasis (and spelled with a capital B, no less). The funniest part is that Toby was probably the one who sent this anonymous message, since it does feel like a very Toby-ish thing to do. He can be such a sassypants sometimes. :D

Andrew: So, put on your Hastings face and spank her tomorrow night like I know you can.
Spencer: Good pep talk. :)

Oh my goodness, this is Andrew’s first scene on the show and he’s already talking about ~*spanking*~ with Spencer. Interesting choice of words btw, at least now we know what Andrew would like to do with his physics textbook while you bend over the lab table. ;)

Toby: You know, I can come with you, and I can rub your shoulders between rounds, and wrap your knuckles, and hold your spit bucket…
Spencer: Hey, this is not a prize fight! But I would like to punch her.

Hehe, that was kinda adorable even in a post-Spoby apocalyptic world. Too bad this fake relationship won’t last much longer than an engagement on The Bachelor. Don’t get attached, folks. =(

Sidebar: It just occurred to me that Toby and Mona probably have/had a romantic fling together. Think about it: they’re both in The A Team, they already wear matching couple clothes in the form of dark hoodies, and their typical Friday evenings involves tormenting random civilians around town. I can’t think of a more compatible match for each other, can you?

More importantly, can you imagine the hellstorm once Spencer discovers that Toby is A and he has been tapping Mona’s sweet lil’ ass on the side? Oh my god, I think Spencer’s head might literally explode into smithereens. Her impending meltdown will be GLORIOUS and I simply cannot wait for that to happen! *giddy*

Speaking of meltdowns, Psycho Paige suddenly transforms into Paranoid Paige for this episode. Living through multiple murder attempts and near-death experiences may be a common daily occurrence for the pretty little liars, but Paige is still traumatized over all the evil shite that happens on the show. She’s freaking out and hyperventilating and then this crazy bitch ran out of her car just to start crying in the middle of nowhere. Basically, it has been three seasons since Paige was introduced to the show and they’re still finding new ways to make her character even more mentally unstable than ever. Good to know! ^_^

Emily: Paige, I think you should see somebody…
Paige: *completely surprised reaction*

I love how Paige was so genuinely shocked at Emily’s suggestion that she needs professional help to deal with all her cray-cray. The real crazy people never acknowledge that they are actually crazy. And it’s about frigging time that someone told Paige to go see a shrink, which is a long overdue piece of advice that should have been given to her way back in Season 1!

Hey Em? Your poor girlfriend is practically scared of her own shadow, so maybe it wasn’t the best idea to take her through the woods in the middle of the night? If I was in their shoes, I’d get my ass back into the car and immediately drive somewhere a lot safer. There’s an effing serial killer on the loose; hanging out in the woods after dark would be at the very bottom of my to-do list.

Toby got a bit careless after slashing some car tires and he was spotted by Emily, who suddenly decides that she has nothing better to do than to CHASE DOWN FUCKING A!!!!! Toby managed to escape, which might be for the best, considering how Emily was completely unarmed during the pursuit, so she would have been like *ded* if she actually caught up to him. Girrrrl, just because you aren’t put in a life-threatening situation for this episode, that doesn’t mean you have to go run around finding some other way to put your life in danger! Even Paige was looking at Emily like: “wtf are you doing woman!? I thought *I* was supposed to be the crazy one in this relationship, remember? O_o”

The pretty little liars snuck into the school basement again to steal Alison’s journal, which they should have done last episode if Emily hadn’t suffered from a brain malfunction. Oh look, there’s an important source of information that’ll help with the murder investigation I’ve been working on for the past three seasons. DEFINITELY DO NOT WANT!!!

Unfortunately, the real journal is gone and so is the innkeeper creeper turned stalker janitor. Apparently, the whole town is blaming Harold for the arson incident now. Why bother investigating for the real culprit when you can just blame it on an easy scapegoat instead?

At first, the girls got scared because there was somebody else in the basement with them! But nope, it was just Lucas sucking hard at his covert operations (…although he seemed to run away rather quickly for somebody who was walking with a limp last episode. What a miraculous recovery!)

Hanna was able to identify Lucas through his shoes and gets all WTF at his general shadiness. Lucas tells her that he was looking for “something” (aka. the dignity that he lost between Season 1 and 2) in the basement, but please don’t ask him any more questions because he can’t tell her anything else etcetera, etcetera. Didn’t we go through this same routine just last episode?

Eventually, Lucas reveals that he was the one who set Meredith on fire. lmao @ arson becoming his new recurring hobby. It’s good to see that he replaced *online gambling* with *setting shit on fire* instead.

Lucas claims that he only started the fire to give Mona a ‘scare’, which is total bullcrap. Um yeah, tell that to the first degree burns on Meredith’s arm? I saw how that fucking fire burned down the shed and it didn’t seem like an innocent schoolboy scare tactic to me. Lucas definitely had the intent to burn Mona alive – fried, extra crispy, and with barbeque sauce on top!

Since Hanna got so fed up with Lucas scurrying away and avoiding her all the time, she confronts him with a surprise house visit!

Hanna: Hey, your mom let me up. :-)

What kind of mother would send a leggy blonde into the bedroom with her hormonal teenage son? Then again, it’s not like anything would ever happen. What is Lucas gonna do? Get frisky with a girl on his *bunk bed*? Oh Lucas, that bunk bed is the surest sign of somebody who doesn’t plan on getting laid in the foreseeable future.

By the way, Lucas’ bedroom is FRIGGING AWESOME. It was basically decorated like a ~*nerd haven*~ with comic books, action figures, and superhero collectibles everywhere. Normally, that would sound like a very pitiful teenage male existence, but his bedroom actually looks quite cool and chic and utterly adorable. I don’t know about you, but I would wanna *live* in there!

BRB. I’m setting up an online donation fund so someone can buy me those bobbleheads for my bedroom~

Fun facts about Lucas:

1.) B-B-BLACKMAIL! Lucas has been selling test answers for extra income, which A used to blackmail him into doing shady shite. This includes distracting Jenna during the masquerade ball (which is strange, since Melissa was asked to do the same thing) and delivering an AWNVELOPE to Jason before Halloween (I just love the way he pronounces that word, hehe.)

2.) H-H-HOMESCHOOL! Lucas is trading in his textbooks for his comic books, because he’s quitting school so that A can’t blackmail him anymore. Uh, that seems quite drastic considering he could have transferred schools like Jenna did? I guess Lucas just wanted an excuse not to go to school anymore so he can stay in his swanky bedroom loft all day long~

Fun facts about Mona:

1.) Upon her release, Mona isn’t allowed to have access to any cell phones or the Internet. (“Um, then what is the point of living?” asks every teenager and me.) Mona is given limited computer access on school campus for doing homework, which is amusing since the first thing she did was upload her apology video onto a social media site. Yeah, doing homework my ass.

2.) Jason DiLaurentis is Mona’s “Internet nanny”, meaning that he’s actually getting paid to look over her shoulder while she surfs online. Oh my god, that has to be one of the most ridiculous(ly awesome) jobs of all time. Where can I apply to become somebody’s Internet nanny? Who’s hiring!?

(Actually, my favourite job of all-time is being “Mona’s evil personal assistant”, which is the term Hanna used to describe Lucas. *lmao* Being in Mona’s entourage sounds like it kinda rocks~)

Mona: The vice principal said that I could have limited access to the computer lab. Homework only, supervised.
Aria: Yeah, it was certainly calculating, but I wouldn’t call it trig.

Wut? That was such an unnecessary dig hardly relevant to the context of the conversation. GJ ARIA.

So yeah, I’m not even gonna pretend I know what any of the things that Spencer and Mona were saying during the quiz-off. It brings back awful memories of me watching thirty minutes of Jeopardy and actually knowing the answer to, like, one question out of 200. =(

However, I am going to list out every single answer just because this is ~*recap everything*~. Make sure you remember all of the answers because there will be a quiz later on!!! (not rly)

1.) St. Croix
2.) Bioluminescence
3.) Maxilla & Mandible

4.) Operation Pegasus, The Battle of Khe Sanh.
5.) Catherine of Braganza
6.) Charles Henry and John Mercer Langston
7.) The Amish, the Mennonites, and the Hutterites
8.) A Lesson in Vengeance, by Sylvia Plath
9.) Plate tectonics
10.) Bildungsroman
11.) The first territorial legislature of Wyoming
12.) The Rosetta Stone

13.) Pericles, Beowulf, Gilgamesh
14.) 3 noble gases: helium, argon and xenon
15.) The house of Habsburg, the house of Burgundy, the crowns of Castile and Aragon
16.) The Ogallala Aquifer
17.) Madame C.J. Walker in 1910
18.) Armenia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Estonia, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Kurdistan, Latvia, Lithuania, Moldova, Russia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan

At the risk of sounding ignorant (oops too late), is there any real life scenario where it’s necessary to memorize the 15 countries that became independent with the dissolution of the Soviet Union? The only time you’ll ever need to know *any* of this crap is if you’re applying for Alex Trebek’s job, but even he has cue cards and an earpiece to rely on.

Since Spencer only answered 14 out of the 15 countries correctly, she ends up losing to Mona on some technicality bullshit. It doesn’t seem very *fair* that Mona got to answer the *same* question after Spencer basically recited the entire list, but WHATEVER THIS SHIT IS RIGGED ANYWAY.

Spencer: I lost.
Hanna: Did she cheat!?
Spencer: YEAH. *pauses* I…I don’t know.

I love how Mona definitely *cheated* just because Spencer didn’t win at something lol. And the award for the worst sportsmanship goes to…

And then this happened:

Hanna: Mona, I’m onto you! Okay, nothing’s changed. You’re still pushing strings and pressing buttons. Manipulating lives. Using people’s secrets. You know, I wasted months visiting you, defending you, feeling guilty of everything you did to me. And I kept thinking if I was a better friend… you almost reeled me in. *mock voice* I’m scared, Hanna. I need you. BULLCRAP! I know you’re still A and I know what you’re doing to Lucas. No, I’m done! I don’t wanna see you, I don’t wanna hear from you, and I don’t wanna know you.

LOL. *slow clap* Bravo, Hanna. Bra-fuckin’-vo.

It was probably not the smartest idea to say that kind of shit to somebody who has the capacity to murder yo’ ass. But I gotta say, that epic smackdown was SO WORTH IT. If that has to be the last speech Hanna ever gave before she dies a horrible premeditated death, it would still be worth every single delicious word. That was heavenly. That was orgasmic. That was frickin’ awesome. That needs to be included in Hanna’s eulogy during her funeral, which should come very soon after threatening Mona to her face, but SO. WORTH. IT.

DING-A-LING-A-LING! YOU HAVE 1 NEW MESSAGE ON YOUR DESKTOP~~~

Ezra: Coming up for air. Thought I’d say hi.

You know what this reminds me of? One of those sleazy online chatrooms where predators prey on young susceptible teenage girls before raping them IRL or some sick shit. I don’t know why my mind went there, but Ezra + online chatroom = never a good combination.

Yes, we are now officially at the Aria Montgomery portion of the recap, where we must discuss her ridiculous wardrobe once again. DAT JACKET. DAT BELT. AND DEAR GOD DAT BUSTIER. WHERE DO WE EVEN START!? O_O

Um Aria, honey, I’m not sure if anyone told ya that you are missing the entire bottom half of your jacket? Or that you have on the ugliest belt known to mankind? Or that you are wearing some kind of black corset bustier thingy which should not be seen outside of a sex fetish club? This isn’t just about committing a fashion crime anymore. At this point, I feel like Aria is actively sinning with all the godawful clothes that she wears, and the only thing that could stop her wardrobe blasphemy is through divine intervention.

Poor Aria had a rough time this episode, especially dealing with her douchey scumbag twat of a father. Papa Montgomery just realized that accusing his daughter of arson based on a sticky note might not be the most logical conclusion. (Oh gee, ya think!?) He tries apologizing to her by being all *grabby hand* but Aria made it clear that she’s physically repulsed by his touch.

Byron: Aria, I’m sorry for what I said…*hand on hand*
Aria: UM NO SHIT STAIN *yanks hand away* APOLOGY UNACCEPTED.

Lately, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to find *any* redeeming qualities to say about Byron, but let’s try anyway….

1.) He inflicts psychological torment on only one of his two children, yay?

2.) He’s not part of The A Team, which means he probably wasn’t the one who tried pushing his daughter off a train.

3.) …erm…*scratches head*…that’s all I got, folks.

It’s much easier to list out all of Byron’s awful moments instead, starting with the fact that he’s one of those people who doesn’t know how to use *spoiler tags* on message boards.

Byron: Oh, I’ve seen this one. That guy keeps a severed head in a hat box.

Wow. *hand over ears* Spoiler alert, asshole!? Who the fuck does that!? Who goes up to someone watching a movie and spoil the plot summary for them??? That’s like right up there with the worst crimes against humanity: genocide, murder, rape, spoiling movies. Just when you thought this douchebag couldn’t get any douchier! DIE BYRON DIE!!!

Byron is also one of those parents who snoop through his children’s belongings, your precious privacy be damned. He was looking for the pages to Alison’s journal, which Aria had originally hid inside her boot. It’s a good thing she didn’t hide those papers in her underwear drawer instead. *eeeek*

When Aria couldn’t find the pages at first, her friends thought she must have misplaced them elsewhere, so they start going through Aria’s entire shoe collection *one* by *one* by *one* by *one*. YOU GUYS, THIS MIGHT TAKE A WHILE~~~ *an eternity passes* It’s pretty common for girls to own a lot of shoes just because they are programmed that way (“Oh my god, a discount shoe sale! *BUYBUYBUY*”), but this is frigging Aria we are talking about, so you can take the standard number of shoes in your closet and then quadruple it.

You’d think that stealing your daughter’s stuff is the kind of crap you want to keep discrete, but nope. For some bizarre reason, Papa Montgomery starts boasting that he stole the diary pages from Aria’s bedroom. It was the strangest thing ever. He literally shows up at her doorstep just to heavily imply that he knows about her secret hiding spot. (“Hey Aria, remember when you used to think that your shoe was a safety deposit box? HINT HINT.”) It’s almost like Byron was *taunting* his daughter, in the evil way that most villains do. O_o

Byron also got caught snooping through Meredith’s purse thinking it was his daughter’s, and then the two of them got into a huge row over this. At one point, Byron was like *GRABBING YER ARM* in the same way he grabbed Alison during that flashback. Eeeek!

Doing this kind of thing once might be excused as an accidental slip-up. But doing this twice is indicative of some repressed violent tendencies that will end up in a future police report for domestic abuse, if not worse. Let’s just say that if Aria hadn’t barged out of her room at the right (wrong?) time, there was a very likely chance Byron would have **ended** Meredith right there and then! :O

I shouldn’t make light of this situation, but there was a hilarious piece of soap opera acting when Meredith shrieked: “BYRON, MY ARM!!!” in such a melodramatic way. Her voice sounded like a mix between a mouse squeaking and a baby seal wailing. I can’t really describe what’s so funny about it, but I replayed the scene at least twenty times and I’m *this* close to making a remix version of the audio clip.

BTW, is this seriously the extent of Meredith’s injury? That’s it? That looks like the boo-boo of somebody who accidentally brushed their arm against a heating kettle. WTF WEAKSAUCE. She was trapped in a burning building! I was expecting Meredith to be (at least) horribly disfigured with permanent burn marks scarring half her face!

BTW2, Meredith has got a lot of nerve approaching Ella about a “truce” and keeping things “professional” in the workplace. I love Mama Montgomery basically made *THIS FACE* throughout Meredith’s half-assed apology plea. She was like: “I refuse to make eye contact with a homewrecker and would rather look at the floor, which is exactly the same level that I think of you~~~”

BTW3, Meredith saw Aria & Ella talking, so she assumed they were having an intense discussion about her burn injuries. In reality, they never mentioned Meredith and she didn’t cross their minds even once. *lol* Quite frankly, they couldn’t care less whether that woman lived or died.

The big plot reveal in this episode is how Papa Montgomery didn’t have an actual alibi on the night of Alison’s death. Originally, he was said to have spent the night with Mama Montgomery, but she was like *drunk slut* and got totally plastered. This gives him the chance to sneak away to meet with Meredith…and later that night, Alison.

Meredith: He left my apartment to go meet her. I tried to change his mind. I begged him. The next day, she was missing.

Why is Meredith talking like she believes Byron killed Alison? She was the one who hooked up with him again, so this bitch obviously doesn’t think he’s all that dangerous. Unless Meredith thinks he’s a killer and she still gets off on that anyway? (Hey, you never know with some crazy chicks…)

Meredith: Is there any way this is some horrible accident? Your father would never intentionally hurt that girl…would he?

Ok, can Meredith make it any more obvious that she’s trying to turn Aria against her father? It’s some deliberate ploy so that Meredith can get rid of her future stepdaughter when she marries into the family. She’s prolly hoping Aria runs away from home or commits suicide or sum shit.

The other big plot reveal comes in the form of a misuse choice of words during Aria’s dialogue:

Aria: Yeah, I’ve been feeling queasy… I don’t know, I think the stress is getting to me.

…which is interpreted as: OH MY GOD ARIA IS PREGNANT, SHE IS SOOOO PREGGERS. This is like classic first trimester morning sickness, and I refuse to believe any other plausible explanations of her medical condition. All I know is that Aria will be “showing” in a couple of episodes from now and she’ll give birth in the season finale.

It turns out that Aria had a flu or fever or some other legit sickness? WTF that is completely unacceptable. PREGNANCY OR GTFO.

At the end of the episode, Meredith basically drugged Aria and it caused her to say some crap like “Thanks Meredith for being my new mom! Who needs Ella anyway? *sippysip* ^_^”

OR WHATEVER WAS REALLY SAID, BUT IT WAS IMPLIED THAT WAY. The point is that Aria and Meredith need to keep a secret about Byron, which brings the two of them closer than they’ve ever been, which *also* means Meredith is slowly but surely easing her way into the Montgomery family.

Ohhhh Meredith, you sly homewrecking whore. I see exactly what you are doing. It’s not enough that you stole the husband, now you want to steal the children as well! What a manipulative, conniving, immoral, deceptive and disgusting human being. Meredith *deserves* all the love that she gets from Byron Montgomery!

…with that said, Meredith is kinda growing on me. Just a little. Hehe. She’s like some horrible soap opera villain with very rotten intentions, but it’s what I enjoy most about her character. :) You go destroy that family some more, girl! Recap Everything is rooting for you~~~

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26 Responses

  1. Default avatar Olga January 23rd, 2013 / Wednesday

    Oooh! It’s here, it’s here, it’s finally here!!! :) I’ve been checking the site for a recap of this episode since the minute it ended. You know, in case you had some sort of a time-bending machine allowing you to have a full recap with screengrabs immidiately after the show ends. Hey, it could happen…

    I love this recap/review. Hilarious as always and I have to say, I actually made a list with all the major points I was going to look for and you hit every. single. one. You’re amazing. Seriously. From the sassy b!tchface the anon student gave Mona (which, hellooo- best moment of the season! :P), Emily getting her panicked gf to stroll in the woods at night (it’s not like there’s a killer out there, ooh wait…), Lucas and another idiotic excuse PLL makes to have him look like a villain while retaining the innocence of a Care Bear, Meredith (wait, what? Is she supposed to be the good guy all of a sudden??) to Aria’s jacket (seriously. That jacket. What…? I mean, how, what, it’s so… I mean, where did she even… just… What?). And I’m glad that you noticed the significance of Spencer’s new lurve interest. Who apparently has been her friend and debate club mate for years now. Despite, you know, never being seen anywhere or mentioned by anyone EVER before. Smooth character introduction by PLL, again ;) That being sad, I love them. I want them together. Now. Just… now. Spoby is stale, like those old cookies your grandma takes out of the cupboard every time she has guests, still on the same decorative plate, still untouched and dry. But the new guy… The energy was amazing. Idiotic dialogue and cheesy innuendo aside, I just want them to find the nearest horizontal surface and get it awn… ;P

    Thanks so much for this hilarious recap. Btw, is it just me, or was this possibly the best episode this season??

    • Default avatar Recap Everything January 24th, 2013 / Thursday

      I think there was *one* PLL recap where I was able to post it immediately the next day after it aired. I don’t know how I managed to pull that off? lol

      Yessss this episode had so many talking points:
      – Sassy diva anon student = LEGEND. I want them to keep up the decathlon drama so that he can become recurring background character.
      – Emily’s behaviour is so bizarre. You’d think she might be a bit wary of the trekking the woods at night after she got chased by a serial killer in the exact same setting just three episodes ago, but nope.
      – I can’t imagine Lucas being a srs villain of any kind. He’s just so clumsy and incompetent? *lol* @ him getting caught in the basement & getting identified by Hanna. He’s too much of an amateur to be A.
      – Halfway through the episode, I looked up at the TV screen and went like: “What happened to the rest of her jacket? And is she wearing a…bustier? OH ARIA.”
      – I am *obsessed* with Andrew’s character so I hope there’s plenty more of him to come. He got the beauty, brains, nerdiness, cheesy dialogue and blatant sexual innuendos – basically the perfect character for my recaps. And it’s about time Spencer traded in her love interest for a newer model. UPGRADE PLZ.

  2. Default avatar Alex January 23rd, 2013 / Wednesday

    I love that you hit on ALL the things my friends and I notice while watching this show. Too funny. I can’t wait to see how you handle last night’s episode. It was off the wall in the best of ways. Also, TEEN WOLF FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing about it but I feel compelled to mention it. That is all :)

    • Default avatar Recap Everything January 24th, 2013 / Thursday

      tyty~ my recaps are always good for spotting the hilariously pointless details while completely skipping the long stretches of actual plot.

      And omg i loved last (+last) night’s episode too. MEREDITH IS A STAR. Recapping it might be a pain in the ass since it feels like everyone has a *secret* every two minutes, but we’ll have lots to discuss.

      And the Teen Wolf recaps are coming, I swear. I don’t have any other shows in my queue right now, so it is definitely next in line. :)

  3. Default avatar Emily January 23rd, 2013 / Wednesday

    Loved it as always !! Especially loved the screencap of dead Spencer in Toby’s eyes. Hilarious ! I’m all aboard the #Spandrew train as well. Can’t wait for recap of last night’s episode so many crazy things happened . Thanks again for recapping :-)

    • Default avatar Recap Everything January 24th, 2013 / Thursday

      In that screenshot, I actually wanted to draw an axe in Toby’s hands as well, but I couldn’t figure out how to make a realistic doodle of an axe. *lolfail*

      You’re welcome! It’s always nice to hear words of encouragement, it keeps me ~*inspired*~ to produce new recaps. :-)

  4. Default avatar DarkAngel January 23rd, 2013 / Wednesday

    All I know is that Aria will be “showing” in a couple of episodes from now and she’ll give birth in the season finale.

    At the pace this shows moves, Aria wouldn’t be showing until season 15.

    I think Andrew thinks he’s some kind of Clark Kent. Glasses on – Mild mannered nerd, Glasses off – Sexy MotherF’er. Spencer needs to hit that . But he’ll probably turn out to be some kind of psycho because no one in that town is a normal person.

    Rosewood, the town where the criminally insane move, to raise their families.

    If Aria’s outfits are not the definition of insanity I don’t know what is. You what would be awesome if Jenna and Toby’s parents were like Mike and Carol Brady. Because only they can have raise a pair of sociopaths.

    I so want Toby to be banging Mona. Then along with Jason, Mona get to have abs and pecs! and maybe at the same time. Lucky girl. I need to join the A Team. It’s got better benefits than my current job.

    And Jenna’s that awesome that it takes not one but two random people that she barely talks to distract her. Even when they thought she was still blind. Everyone is obsessed with her.

    Lucas’ room is awesome. I actually bought a bunch of those bobbleheads for myself, friends and family for Christmas. My Chris Hemsworth Thor bobble is staring at me on my desk as I type this. lolz

    • Default avatar Recap Everything January 24th, 2013 / Thursday

      I think Season 15 will be the one when the girls finally graduate from high school, so that timeline sounds about right.

      Yessss Spencer needs to lay all kinds of quadratic equations onto that guy. I can’t wait to find out what terrible skeleton he has in his closet. Hopefully Andrew will turn out to be a complete psycho nerd~ the crazier the better~~~

      I am so intrigued by Jenna and Toby’s papas and mamas. Mona’s too. The parents in Rosewood raised some srsly fucked up kids.

      I want to send my job resume to Mona and beg her to give me a job in her empire. Internet nanny, evil personal assistant, part-time lover, whatever. I bet she has a great benefit package too. (“Dental care is 100% provided in the form of Alison’s corpse.”)

      I wanna know how Melissa & Lucas distracted Jenna during the masquerade ball. It’s such an odd combination of characters. I can’t even imagine what conversation those three would have together?

      I am officially envious. I want a Thor bobblehead AND a Chris Hemsworth bobblehead on my bunk bed too. *scouring online now instead of writing the new recap*

    • Default avatar DarkAngel January 24th, 2013 / Thursday

      They’re called FunkoPop figures. They have all kinds. I’d so buy a MonA one with a black hoodie.

      I want a flashback of the Jenna/Melissa/Lucas convo. How would one distract an psychotic not really blind genius mastermind?

      I can’t wait until this recent ep recap! The insanity and stupidity ran rampant.

  5. Default avatar Sabs January 24th, 2013 / Thursday

    Great works as always! Your recaps cease to amuse me and I love everything about them! And I see Spandrew as becoming more of a friends with benefits kind of thing as opposed to an actual couple. Spencer needs all the perks of a relationship w/o all the whining she gets from people from being so secretive. and also I’m half-expecting your next recap to be filled with nothing but Aria-eyes. But anywho keep it up!

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 13th, 2013 / Wednesday

      Spencer should just play the field, and like she says, slut it up a little? Bring on Andrew, Wren, Jason, Caleb, all of them! :-)

      Preemptive ARIA EYES O_O

  6. Default avatar Theo January 24th, 2013 / Thursday

    Aria’s triplets will become the new power of three and take A down.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 13th, 2013 / Wednesday

      LMAO. The oldest one can be called Ezra Jr. The youngest one can be called Aria Jr. And the middle one can just be called EZRIA.

  7. Default avatar Anonymous January 26th, 2013 / Saturday

    I love Andrew! I vaguely remember him from the books and I honestly didn’t expect him here. He’s kind of similar to that new guy on Glee

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 13th, 2013 / Wednesday

      I love them staying true to the books every once in a blue moon. <3

  8. Default avatar Cynthia ajari January 27th, 2013 / Sunday

    Dix recap is so awesome. I definately want andrew 4 my self. So somebody tell that hast-ing girl 2 stay away. Jeez,aria’s clothez are really lame. I have 2 say d clothez designer must be a sassypant 2 make her wear those clothez. Emily had 2 go through d bushes?? How about d security camera thingy her dad had in d house?? N i really want 2 b a part of A’s team! Where can i summit ma resumè??

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 13th, 2013 / Wednesday

      thx girl but u deffo have 2 share andrewz. Dat silly Hastings ho can go back 2 the end of da line fo sho. I think da fashionizitaz sekritly h8 aria so datz y they put her in dose clown costumez. And my resume iz a bitchy text that sayz “hire me or Lucas gets u fired for realz -R”

  9. Default avatar Flor January 27th, 2013 / Sunday

    It’s goood to know i am not alone? i should’ve quit this show loong ago, but i am somehow curious as to how in the world all of this will end. i am going to end like spencer? probably. there’s just not enough characters to even justify half of the things that went down in Rosewood when and after alison was alive, it’s like watching 24. i mean alison had like a triple life and like 40 years old or something….

    i actually thought paige’s reaction was the most logical one the entire show, i mean if someone kidnapped you and re-closeted you , you will be at least worried right? emily killed someone and aria got cuddly with a corpose(and in the next scene her make up was perfect again and was asking the wheather like nothing happened) so, yeah. You go girl, bravo for having enough sense to not go after someone with a knife in the middle of the forest….

  10. Default avatar jay January 28th, 2013 / Monday

    y you take so long with recaps? they are so funny! ha ha, hope you get 3×16 posted soon!

  11. Default avatar Leo January 29th, 2013 / Tuesday

    Thanks for the Aria’s portion in the recap to discuss that “atrocious” fashion. I laughed at the half-jacket too.
    And that side-eye / eyeroll that sassy student gave Mona, it’s one of the best thing in TV history :D I can’t stop replaying it!
    And Spencer is such a sore loser but she’s such a BOSS! And if you don’t read the novels, Andrew is one of Spencer’s romantic interest ;)
    Keep those glasses on, nerd!

  12. Default avatar ANoelle January 30th, 2013 / Wednesday

    MYAHHH!~ Another great recap! :’DD

    I can’t wait for the next one!

  13. Default avatar anonymous February 3rd, 2013 / Sunday

    When is the next one coming out???

  14. Default avatar Anonymous February 3rd, 2013 / Sunday

    Waiting for the new recaps !! Last episode I found my OTP- Toby + do-rag= Torag forever !!!

  15. Default avatar Anonymous February 5th, 2013 / Tuesday

    Where’s the new recap? Hurry it up a little….im dying of anticipation…

  16. Default avatar Anonymous February 5th, 2013 / Tuesday

    Where’s the new recap? Hurry it up a little….im dying from the wait..

  17. Default avatar a June 21st, 2014 / Saturday

    Informative article, exactly what I wanted to find.

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