Season 2 Episode 17, Pretty Little Liars Recap, Blond Leading the Blind

Spencer breaks up with Toby for good; Aria & Ezra kiss in the rain, stopping traffic, and not giving a damn.

Oh Ian Thomas, you big dead creepy voyeuristic pervert. Whatchya doing with a hidden video camera in Alison’s bedroom on the night of her murder? Lemme guess – sex tape and/or snuff film? What’s your poison, mister?

Now that the Lucas misdirection is out of the way, those perves in the N.A.T. club are once again our prime suspects (either as A, or as Alison’s killer… they’re guilty of something fo sho). And with Caleb’s hack0r skills, the pretty little liars are able to retrieve secret video footage on the night of Alison’s murder. We catch Ian, Garrett, and Jenna snooping around the bedroom, as they try to locate their dirty films that somehow ended in Alison’s possession.

Aria: Now that we know it wasn’t Lucas, my money’s on Officer Garrett in the greenhouse with the cell phone.

*lol* @ Aria trivializing Emily’s near-death experience with a board game reference. But for what it’s worth, my money is on HBIC Jenna in the washroom stall with the walking cane.

Here’s what we discover from the secret footage:

1. Garrett quitted the N.A.T. club when he thought Ian’s films got too kinky.
2. Jason passed out on weed and booze while his friends rummage through his sister’s bedroom.
3. Ian actually hated Alison and only seduced her to get back his videos. He even called her a bitch.
4. My fave part is when Ian and Jenna were sassing each other. She’s like *snerk* “You’re about as clumsy at seduction as you are with handling a camera” while he basically goes *stfubitch*. I do love when grown men have petty little feuds with teenage girls~

Caleb catches on that he’s deciphering some dangerous shit from A’s cell phone, though the girls won’t specify exactly what he is working on. He feels particularly uncomfortable after getting spooked by Officer Garrett, who may or may not be keeping him under surveillance.

(Maybe Caleb would feel a lot safer if he didn’t hack illegal stuff in broad daylight at such a public location? Just a thought.)

Speaking of people who shouldn’t be doing certain things in broad daylight, why is Garrett caressing his crotch in this screenshot? Someone please remind him that he’s at a cafe, not a petting zoo.

I swear, this guy gets weirder and weirder with each episode. He used to be just a shady character, but now Garrett is a full-fledged legitimate creeper. *shudders*

Hanna wants to stop Caleb’s investigation in order to keep him safe from A’s wrath. She even throws his USB drive into a blender, because that’ll surely destroy the only copy of the incriminating evidence which could possibly identify her tormentor and/or solve her friend’s murder! Great thinking, Hanna!

I’m actually quite annoyed with Hanna, whose behaviour is beyond overprotective and now seems extremely irrational. It has gotten so bad that she’s almost reaching Aria levels of stupidity here.

Yeah, I understand that she wants to protect her man candy from getting hurt, but her strategy is to basically throw shit into blenders and then pretend not to know anything. While the other girls are seeking answers, she’s actively avoiding any form of initiative. It’s so frustrating to watch Hanna moan, bitch, and nag without doing anything productive about her situation!

Despite his girlfriend’s protests, Caleb insists on continuing the investigation because he believes it’ll help him protect Hanna. Or in other words…

Caleb: Hanna, I need to introduce conflict into our relationship because we were at risk of turning into a boring television couple. Knowing about A might be dangerous, but being a perfect conflict-free love interest will definitely guarantee that I get written off the show. I saw what happened to Toby!

Although Hanna destroyed his work in a blender, Caleb saved a back-up copy of everything. *gasp* I know, it must be difficult for Pretty Little Liars viewers to grasp the concept of a computer back-up, but those things do apparently exist in the PLL world!

Caleb was eventually fed some BS about the girls being framed for Alison’s murder, so he continues the investigation. For the sake of protecting the blenders and other household appliances, he decides *not* to tell Hanna about what he’s doing behind her back.

Since Noel dumped her ass in the previous episode, Mona tries to find some closure in their break-up, but ends up humiliating herself even further. She goes like “NOEL KHAN, ME & U IS OVAR!!! GOOD LUCK FINDING A GF WHO GIVES BETTER HEAD THAN I DO!” …only for Noel to push her to the floor, spit in her face, kick her curled up body a few times, and make fun of Mona with his mute male cronies.

In short, Noel is a grade A douchebag, but what else is new? He seems like the kind of asshole who’d try out a different flavour of ho every other week. Just be thankful that he broke up with Mona first instead of cheating behind her back.

BTW can that gay guy next to Noel stop *gawking* so blatantly? It’s kinda rude. And staring at Noel’s hand won’t increase your chances of getting a handjob from him, sweetie.

Hanna comforts her friend by going like “Everyone knows Noel was settling for you, and it was likely that he only hooked up with you due to a serious lapse in judgment, so idk why you’re so upset about the inevitable break-up that we all saw coming. Cheer up?”

Mona has a difficult time moving on from the break-up, because duh Noel is a hot, rich, and popular piece of ass. She says something about falling in love with his ~*mesmerizing eyes*~, which was OBVIOUSLY a clue (aka. misdirection) in reference to A having “bright eyes” several episodes ago.

And then, dramatic music!!! The camera suddenly pans to a nearby washroom stall, where Jenna had been eavesdropping in their conversation all along. The show wanted us to think that she was secretly collecting intel, but I think she was probably just taking a wee and the camera happened to capture her at a very *awkward* moment.

There’s a hot new power couple in town~ Say hello to Noel and Jenna, who are seen having a cozy dinner date together, not long after each of them broke up with their respective romantic partners. OH EM GEE, I can just imagine these two plotting plenty of evulz and destroying humanity happily together. ^_^

In any case, bow down to your newest KING and QUEEN of Rosewood, bitches!

Mona totally gives the stank face to the new couple, while Hanna doesn’t have the heart to tell her friend that Noel is definitely *winning* the break-up so far. From Mona to Jenna? From Garrett to Noel? These rebounds are top notch. And I think both of them traded up big time, to be honest.

What is A’s problem with Spoby??? A seems intent to break up Spencer and Toby for no apparent reason other than to manufacture conflict between a previously drama-free couple. If only A put in one tenth of the effort into breaking up Ezria as well. *sighs* But we don’t always get what we want.

Encouraged by their romantic rendezvous in the last episode, Toby continues to stalk Spencer relentlessly, even though she’s giving him a lot of mixed signals. On one hand, she’s worried that A will hurt Toby as previously warned. On the other hand, she really loves making out on his washboard abs. Oh, such an impossible dilemma! What is a girl supposed to do!?

Toby is like “RING RING. Spencer, pick up the phone. You don’t want to test my persistence, because I will win you over by annoying you to death.”

Spencer doesn’t want to answer the call though, and tells Emily to make up an excuse like “tell him I’m not here” which is later changed to “no wait, tell him I’m in the shower”. I guess she wanted to feed into Toby’s fantasies of her being wet and naked? It’s her way of saying “Hey stud, I might be ignoring you, but just visualize me rubbing soap all over mah body~ ;)”

Toby: Hey, is Spencer around?
Emily: *nervously* Um…she’s unable to come to the phone right now.

OMGFAIL. Really, Emily? That’s the best excuse you can come up with? Maybe Spencer should have just let Toby go to the answering machine instead.

Spencer: What else was I supposed to do? I totally shut him down…
Aria: You’re protecting somebody love. It’s kind of romantic!
Spencer: No, it’s the opposite of romantic. -_-“

*lmao* That is SUCH an Aria response. Only in her demented mind would she think being blackmailed to break up with a boyfriend = *romantic gesture*. Of course, this coming from the same girl who has convinced herself that she’s the heroine in the greatest love story of the century, so her delusions don’t surprise me.

But enough with other people’s romantic problems! Aria singlehandedly manages to shift the entire conversation back to herself. She starts whining about Ezra blah blah blah, while the other girls tease her for finding a beard in Holden.

Hanna: I know what it means. He’s gay.
Aria: He’s not gay. I’ve known him since I was five.
Emily: He might not have known when he was five.
Spencer: Has he ever tried to kiss you?
Aria: No…
Everyone Else: GAY!!!!!

Jeebus, I love how they can jump to the automatic conclusion that Holden is a big ol’ gay just because he hasn’t tried to mack on Aria yet. Mind you, I have the same mentality as them, and am not fully convinced that he’s checking out this hot girl’s booty. More like her big ass obstructed his line of vision as he’s checking out Mike Montgomery on the other side, amirite?

BTW this must be the WORST attempt at a perverted face ever. Holden, please never make this expression again.

The pretty little liars discover that Alison had been receiving blackmail notes back when she was alive. The lulzy messages include “It’s my turn to torture you” (hawt), “You think you’re safe on the outside, but you’re not when I’m on the inside” (this one doesn’t even make sense), “You scared yet? You should be, bitch~” (sounds like something I would write in my recaps), and “Next time it’ll be your face, not this pumpkin” (cue the Halloween flashback segment!)

FLASHBACK TIME: …from the cutting room floor of the Halloween episode. I love watching scenes with the young incarnations of the pretty little liars, because they’re always so tongue-in-cheek funny.

Hanna: Your sister and Ian are so cute together! Do you think they’ll get married?
Spencer: I guess so~ They seem perfect for each other.

*lol* Apparently, this must be the Halloween before Spencer started her fiancé stealing rampage.

Seeing Alison’s half-assed attempt at a LADY G outfit gets me every time. Every time!

OMFG A WAS BLACKMAILING ALISON TOO! BEFORE HE, SHE OR IT WAS BLACKMAILING THE PRETTY LITTLE LIARS!

…and it would’ve been a very shocking revelation if they didn’t already tell us several episodes ago. I’m pretty sure Alison received a text message signed by A at the end of the Halloween special.

Aria: Ezra! Hey, I’m calling from Emily’s phone for expository reasons. Listen…I really don’t want to think about us being over, but whether we are or we aren’t, it’s something we should discuss face to face, or mouth to mouth, or body to body. So meet me tonight at eight before my curfew and my bedtime. If you come, there’s still a chance for us. And if not… *BEEEEEEP*

LMAO. Goddamn, even the voicemail machine got fed up with Aria’s rambling.

Ezra ignores Aria’s voicemail (…and why shouldn’t he? It’s not like she has any new material. You hear one Aria voicemail message, you heard them all.) In the end, he still doesn’t have the balls to delete her call.

BEST ROLLERCOASTER RIDE EVER!!! A’s latest attempt to break up Spencer and Toby involves attempting to *MURDER* the latter. Toby’s accidental fall was definitely an intentional and premeditated move, courtesy of A.

BTW this is supposed to be Toby Cavanaugh, not a stunt actor with a classic Justin Bieber hairdo.

Toby scraped through the fall with just a broken arm (and he recovered well enough to drive a truck later in the episode). At least he now has an opportunity to talk directly to Spencer, but wait…A NEW CHALLENGER APPEARS!!! Enter the handsome doctor with a charming accent and a complicated history with Spencer!

This is the first time that Toby and Wren have met each other. Let’s just say their introduction is more than a little awkward…

Toby: You two know each other?
Spencer: Uh yeah, Wren used to date Melissa…
Wren: *proudly* Was engaged to, actually. Before something got in the way.

WHAT GOT IN THE WAY, WREN? YOUR THROBBING ERECTION FOR YOUR FIANCEÉ’S SISTER? I love how proud he seems about this fact too, like cheating on Melissa is a badge that he’d happily wear on his doctor’s coat.

Jenna also pays Toby a visit in the hospital. Their exchange is kinda hilarious, because she doesn’t spend any time inquiring about her stepbrother’s well-being. The first sentence out of her mouth is literally “WHY DID YOU GO BACK TO THAT HOUSE!?” Because yeah, who cares that Toby nearly killed himself from the fall? Jenna’s sole purpose of visiting is to tell Toby about how Spencer = an evil dangerous conniving bitch.

Emily: HOW DARE YOU COME HERE!

Emily and Jenna have a bitch-off at the hospital. Ever since the Halloween episode where Em was checking out Jenna’s gagas, I keep on interpreting their hostility as UNRESOLVED SEXUAL TENSION. Some things can never be unseen.

Jenna: You should have left Toby alone! You all should have left him alone! You know how everyone close to you gets hurt.
Emily: Are you threatening me? Here? Today?

Today??? It’s so bizarre that she added a time stamp to her response. Would Emily prefer if Jenna threatened her tomorrow instead? Or maybe they can schedule a future appointment for their next showdown?

Spencer needs to break up with Toby to protect him, but she gets Emily to do the dirty work instead.

Emily: MOVE OVER SPOBY, IT’S WRENCER TIME.

The showrunners decided to change things up a bit, so she’s gonna dump you and Wren will be her new love interest for a while. I guess having a stable romance in television is just too much to ask for. I would know – just ask me and my rotating door of girlfriends.

Do you remember when Toby talked about making babies with Spencer just a couple of episodes ago? Damn, look at how things have changed since then~~~

Toby: I want some answers! About you and Spencer!
Wren: I tongued her, I’m not gonna deny that. I was under the impression that you two were over, but that probably wouldn’t have stopped me anyway, given my track record. Spencer might have mentioned that she broke up with you just hours before she made out with me. But frankly, we didn’t do much talking when she was so busy exchanging saliva with me.

It must be biting Toby’s ass though that Wren is both the original AND the new love interest for Spencer. And he’s a doctor too! How is a measly carpenter supposed to compete with Dr. McAccenty?

Toby: *bitchy* You should go now.
Wren: Come on, mate!

YEAH COME ON MATE. If he didn’t kiss Spencer like right away, you know those bitches are going to accuse him of being *GAY LIKE HOLDEN* as well.

OMG SHE’S STARING OUT THE WINDOW WHILE IT’S RAINING. THIS IS SO SAD AND EVERYTHING. *insert overwrought Spencer expression* CAN YOU FEEEEEL HER MISERY???

Aria goes on another fake date with Not-Gay Holden, even though they go their separate ways as soon as Mama Montgomery is out of the picture.

BTW, did Aria’s parents dress their daughter in the most HIDEOUS flowered jacket to ensure that no one would hit on her? If so, mission accomplished.

Holden: Aria, I’m not gay.
Aria: Okay. Well, then what are you?

Um, in denial? But now that Holden firmly asserts he’s not gay gay gay, my interest in his character pretty much drops to zero. Whatever his secret is, I don’t really care anymore unless it involves some cock holding.

Aria is waiting for a secret rendezvous with Ezra, where they would have this gigantic breakthrough and be happily reunited, because this shit has happened a bajillion times in the past. However, she spends a lonnnng time waiting for him in the rain, and maybe she should have brought a book instead of spending hours looking at every car license plate that comes her way.

Meanwhile, Ezra is busy burying himself in his work so that he won’t be a pedobear. Unfortunately, he takes out his pent-up sexual frustration on a student. This college kid wrote a story about how a man leaves his fiancée to be with a woman whom he met five minutes ago due to *A CONNECTION*. Laugh now, but this almost sounds like a pitch for an ABC Family television show in the future.

Student: True love saves him from making the biggest mistake of his life~~~

I think we might have found what an Ezria fan looks like in person.

Ezra: Do you think that’s realistic? Student: I think it’s romantic.
Ezra: Life isn’t always romantic. Sometimes it’s realistic. Sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to.

*barfing* Can the show please stop pretending that Ezra bending his high school student over the classroom table is ROMANTIC!? It’s neither romantic nor realistic. It’s simply repulsive.

Student: BE BOLD AND MIGHTY FORCES WILL COME TO YOUR AID. It’s a quote, I forgot who said it. But that’s what my story is about~

*lol* Look at this college kid talking out of his ass just to get a better grade for his assignment. No1curr about your stupid story, dude! Go home!

Ezra shows up for her blah blah blah. Aria kisses him in the rain blah blah blah. Annoying music in the background blah blah blah. Ezria back together again blah blah blah. Was there ever any doubt?

YEP THAT’S RIGHT, THE POWER OF EZRIA TRU LUV CAN STOP TRAFFIC~

*lolwtf* It was kinda amazing that Ezra and Aria basically caused a massive traffic jam with their romantic reunion. Like, what kind of jackass would leave his vehicle in the middle of a busy one-way street!? Can you imagine trying to drive home on a rainy night, only for that asshole in front of you to block off the only available intersection? The loud background music must have drowned out the sound of a hundred cars honking in annoyance!

At the end of the episode, Toby leaves his truck in front of Spencer’s house, which is his way of saying “BITCH, IT’S OVAR~”.

We don’t get to see what Toby wrote to Spencer in his farewell letter, but let me take a crack at it:

Dear Spencer,

Hope you and your doctor boyfriend enjoy making new fond memories inside my truck. I may or may not have rigged the brakes, so please make sure that Wren is present when he drives this off a cliff.

P.S. Please find an attached photograph of my six-pack abs as a constant reminder of what you’ve given up.

Love,
Toby Cavanaugh

We end the episode with A cutting up photographs of the four main love interests, starting with Ezria. Is this an indication that A will break up the couple? Or that A plans to kill off Ezra? Either way I’m game!

But wouldn’t it be amazing if A murdered all four love interests in one go – Ezra, Caleb, Maya, and Toby? Shit would hit the ceiling fan!

Please make it happen, A! I believe in you!!!

Read more recaps!

20 Responses

  1. Default avatar Alex January 25th, 2012 / Wednesday

    AHH. Spot on recap, as usual. The first thought in my head during the kiss scene was that they caused a traffic jam. And also, the Lady G flashback was priceless. So great.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      That traffic defying kiss was so ridiculous, but pretty standard in terms of Ezria scenes. If it was real life, some asshole would come rushing out of his car and start heckling the couple. *lol*

      I don't know why, but Alison's Lady G outfit (or even the fact she calls it that) just cracks me up for some reason. I might substitute Ghetto Aria with a picture of Lady G instead.

  2. Default avatar Lisa January 25th, 2012 / Wednesday

    “Gay Like Holden” would be a great parody song, to the tune of “Moves Like Jagger”.

    Thanks for that. Great recap!

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      brb writing the best parody song in the history of the internetz. The lyrics will involve Mike Montgomery taking Holden by the tongue. <3

  3. Default avatar Sam January 25th, 2012 / Wednesday

    “Whatever his secret is, I don't really care anymore unless it involves some cock holding.” Yes.

    Also hoping Ezra dies in the SF.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      Just yes, or yes please?

      Also, I'm crossing my fingers and wishing so hard for Ezra to get pushed off a bell tower in season two finale. Either that or someone stabs him with a fork after he gets arrested in jail. I'm flexible~

  4. Default avatar Beth January 26th, 2012 / Thursday

    Great recap as always! Loved this quote: “Today??? It's so bizarre that she added a time stamp to her response. Would Emily prefer if Jenna threatened her tomorrow instead? Or maybe they can schedule a future appointment for their next showdown?”

    I laughed a little harder than necessary at that one xD

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      TY! It's just that Emily's comeback was so bizarre. Are you threatening me!? Here!? Today!? This hour!? At this very second!? :3

  5. Default avatar Anonymous January 26th, 2012 / Thursday

    I love your quick reviews on PLL. Guiltiest pleasure ever!
    And I haven't given up on Holden-Mike. C'mon! Bring on the GAY GAY GAY!!! They both will make very cuuuuute couple.
    And TROLOLOLOL…Officer Garrett rubbing himself watching Caleb with hax0r skills…….epic hilarious! How many times you rewatch an episode to actually see that? You. Are. Awesome.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      Thank yew! I too will never give up on Holden-Mike no matter what canon tries to tell us…even though the two of them haven't even shared a single scene together yet. *lol*

      I admit, my observation skills are top notch. And by that, I mean my eyes always gravitate towards the crotch area without fail. I usually watch these episodes twice, so I tend to catch the quirky little details on my rewatch.

  6. Default avatar Leo January 27th, 2012 / Friday

    @RE(I demand to know your name or nick!): I'm that earlier Anon. You know, I actually screamed at the scene when Holden checked out that girl's booteh…I was like WTF! He's supposed to be Mike's future boyfriend!! :'(

    And great observation skills! I pledge my loyalty to this site ^_^. Now, if you can catch your 'a-bit-behind' Once Upon A Time recaps, I'll be the happiest person :D

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      In the spirit of A, I decided to drag out the mystery of my identity for as long as possible. I am the next Gossip Girl XOXO

      I have recuperated from the sheriff's absence, but I finished watching the last three OUAT episodes this weeks, so I'll be able to knock out a few recaps before the end of the month. :)

  7. Default avatar Anonymous February 6th, 2012 / Monday

    how could you all hate ezria they are adorable and so sweeet

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 9th, 2012 / Thursday

      I will believe it when I see Aria walk down the aisle with Ezra. Until then, everyone please feel free to hate away~

  8. Default avatar Anonymous February 13th, 2012 / Monday

    What were they thinking when theay gave Alison this ridiculous Lady Gaga outtfit? It just looks like a blonde version of Elvira… She looks so ridiculous when she stuts with this black leather jacket (where does this come from??)…

    Y.

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 17th, 2012 / Friday

      I think Alison was dressed up as some “Lady G” celebrity who's famous in an alternative reality. That's the only logical explanation for that hot mess of a costume.

    • Default avatar Totes Anonymous November 11th, 2014 / Tuesday

      I think the point was for Jenna to be a better Lady G. But if they tried harder on Alison’s costume that still could have worked.

  9. Default avatar new ArrivAl August 9th, 2013 / Friday

    I am loving these recaps, LMAO, and just wishing you’d have done Season 1 as well.

  10. Default avatar Cayman February 7th, 2014 / Friday

    Great Recap!

  11. Default avatar antonella January 16th, 2017 / Monday

    maya digo que su famlia los guardo sucedio victima asesinato grano en el trasero matado Alison le empuje ellase cayo y todo fue un accientes mal

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