Season 2 Episode 11, Pretty Little Liars Recap, I Must Confess

The girls confide in Dr. Sullivan about A’s existence; Mike has a breakthrough with his family.

The episode begins when A sends another text message to Emily: “Clue Ella in and I’ll let you out. –A” with a photo attachment of Aria and Ezra making out.

Poor Emily. On top of managing her hot mess of a life, now she has to worry about her friend’s illicit teacher-student romance too? Then again, this text message might be a sign that even A is bored of Emily, and wants to torture another bitch for a change.

It’s about time A threatened the girls with photographic evidence of Aria and Ezra being such a blatantly obvious couple in public. At the rate they’re going, A should have more than enough camera footage to create a ~*photo montage*~ for Ezria.

We get a hilarious snarky line when Spencer reacts to Mama Montgomery’s accusation from the previous episode.

Hanna: Is that you?
Aria: Yeah, of course it’s me! O_O
Spencer: Unless you’re Aria’s mom, just assume it’s Spencer. You know, slutting it up!

*lmao* SLUT IT UP~ That’s exactly what Spencer thinks of Aria’s relationship by the way.

I was rooting for Emily to do the right thing and tattletale on her friend. But instead, she goes to Dr. Sullivan’s office and admits herself to the loonybin.

Anne: Hi Emily, how may I help you? What’s on your mind?

Emily: BEST FRIEND GOT MURDERED. OUTED LESBIAN. HOMOPHOBIC MONSTER MOTHER. LOST GIRLFRIEND TO BIBLE CAMP. DROWNED IN SWIMMING POOL BY PSYCHO BIATCH. FAKED COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIP. STOMACH ULCER. POISONED STEROID CREAM. ALMOST GOT STRANGLED AT A SEX MASSAGE PARLOUR. *catches breath* I’m like the psychiatrist’s ultimate fantasy, baby.

It turns out all of Emily’s friends are already waiting for her crazy ass at the psychiatrist office. They’re ready to confess. The four of them come clean to the therapist and reveal the existence of A.

Dr. Anne is very confused why they kept this as a secret for so long. But nobody is willing to admit there wouldn’t be much of a TV series if the pretty little liars confessed about A earlier.

In the next scene, I’m quite surprised that Toby managed to surgically remove his head from Spencer’s ass. I didn’t think he was capable of functioning on his own anymore without his girlfriend.

Toby spies on his stepsister Jenna, but makes an unfortunate discovery that she’s macking on the pedocop Garrett. *eww*

What’s even more disturbing, however, is that Jenna took food out of her mouth and placed it on Garrett’s car! Like, with her spit and saliva and everything! I’ve no idea what she was trying to do, but the show never bothers to explain this bizarre gesture. WTF Jenna!?

The show reminds us that just because Caleb was written off the show, he is still Hanna’s boyfriend via a long-distance relationship. He hasn’t disappeared into the black hole of long forgotten Pretty Little Liars love interests…yet. (RIP Ben, Alex, and Sean)

This week, we meet Hanna’s spunky grandmother, who realizes that Ashley is a goddess and her own son Tom is a total scumbag. She encourages Mama Marin to go fight for her man, but Ashley just wants to avoid all the ~dramaz~.

Speaking of drama, Byron and Ella disagree on how to take care of their suicidal teenage son. Papa Montgomery wants to drug Mike until all the crazy leaves his system. However, Mama Montgomery argues that taking miracle pills won’t magically make the problem go away.

While his family is worried sick about his mental condition, Mike is too busy online chatting (he’s probably uploading nude pictures of himself on the Internet) with somebody (it’s probably his boyfriend) on his laptop (and they’re probably cybersexing).

Aria and Ella want Mike to act like a normal human being again. Mike insists that they leave his room because he’s in the middle of doing something important.

I’m sorry, but what could a 14-year-old teenager possibly do on the Internet that is SO important? Is he making stupid comments on Youtube? Is he arguing with Justin Bieber fans on Twitter? Is he vandalizing a Wikipedia article? Like seriously, go downstairs and have dinner with your family, Mike. The inanity of the Internet will still be here when you come back.

Ella tries to take her son’s laptop away, but Mike shoves his own mother and gets physically violent with her!!!

OMG. This scene totally reminds me of those ridiculous news stories where some deranged kid shoots his own parents because they won’t let him play on his X-Box or something. I can picture Mike losing it exactly like that.

Ella injures her wrist during the scuffle, but she makes Aria promise to keep this outburst as a secret from Papa Montgomery. After all, Byron doesn’t need to know his son has violent tendencies that will either land him in jail or in an insane asylum.

Since Dr. Anne suspects that A might be another student attending Rosewood High, she makes a school visit and gives a Public Service Announcement on bullying.

Anne: Bullies have been around since the first caveman invented the club. When I was at school, the attitude was: “Kids were cruel, but being roughed up a little built character.” Today’s bullies can cause a lot more damage. They have better weapons. They can keep hitting ‘Send’ over and over again, and hide behind the anonymity of a text or an e-mail, which is about as cowardly as it gets.

Anne: These vicious attacks sent through electronic means may as well be carved into stone. If you think a college admissions board, not to mention a jury, won’t examine any evidence, you’re sadly mistaken. All it takes is for the victims to stop being afraid, and decide to speak up and speak out.

Well done, Dr. Anne! What an empowering speech! Let’s remember to include this in your eulogy when A murders your meddling ass at the end of the episode!

We get several brief cameos from the possible A suspects at the school. This includes Noel Khan, who is not so much a bully as he is a douchebag and a blackmailer. Noel kept a low profile ever since he failed to expose Ezra, but he still manages to look devilishly handsome in each of his appearances.

Then there’s Mona, who is a bit of a bully, but she also got bullied…sorta. Remember that flashback in the pilot episode where Mona was this homely four-eyed nerd? Is that still considered canon if the show doesn’t mention it for 30+ episodes?

There’s also Lucas, aka. Hermes the Hermaphrodite, who was definitely bullied in the past. He’s looking a little resentful in this screenshot, having been demoted from Hanna’s love interest to the guy who once lived with Hanna’s current love interest. *sucks2beu*

Finally there’s Jenna, who lost her eyesight because some bullies played a mean prank gone wrong. Anne’s speech about bullying makes her all *giddy* and *gloating*. In fact, she’s grinning like I’ve never seen Jena before.

Jenna: Well, it’s just a shame that Saint Sullivan wasn’t around when your friend Alison was ruling these halls.

Emily: I guess it takes one bully to know another, Jenna. Could you please move your stick? There are people trying to get past you.

WOAH. Who knew Emily had it in her? It’s a close call in this bitch-off showdown, but I’m gonna give the round to Emily for acting so unexpectedly hostile towards a blind girl.

Dr. Sullivan receives a creepy phone call from A, where short snippets of the girls’ therapy session are played over and over again!

Anne files a police report because it’s absolutely not ~cool beans~ that someone bugged her office! She’s willing to tear down the walls to locate the listening device, but these bumbling police officers aren’t very cooperative with the doctor.

Before you recover from the shock that Garrett is doing real police work for a change, rest assured that he’s still completely unprofessional and incompetent on the job. Garrett hounded Dr. Anne for not disclosing the identity of her patients, even though that violates all kinds of confidentiality clauses. He also failed to detect the listening device located underneath a bobbly head figurine.

Good job, Garrett Reynolds, for leeching off the Rosewood police force payroll by doing absolutely nothing yet again!

At the rehearsal dinner for Tom’s re-wedding to Isahell the Skank, Hanna tries to make nice with her evil stepsister Kate.

Hanna: Sorry I called your friends all bitches, your mom a skank, and you a manipulative pathological liar with a mean girl syndrome.

Obviously, that raving bitch Kate isn’t the type to forgive and forget. She pretends to be Hanna’s friend, but secretly there’s this super elaborate scheme that involves getting Hanna drunk and somehow manipulates her into puking all over Isabel’s wedding dress.

Okay, what the fuck? If you don’t like your stepsister, just slap the bitch and yank out her extensions or something. There’s no need for these unnecessarily complex mind games!

Hanna gets hammered and makes an ass out of herself. As a result, Papa Marin blames her for trying to sabotage this wedding.

Tom: You’d do something like this just to make sure the wedding doesn’t happen.
Regina: Y’know, I would’ve waited and hurled on the bride.

+1 to Grandmama Marin

I love me a good villain, but Kate just kinda irks me with her longwinded soliloquies and these underhanded schemes. I’m glad Grandmama Marin exposed her duplicity, while Hanna tells the manipulative ho to FOAD. Oh yeah, the war of the blondes is now officially *AWN*.

Meanwhile, Emily and Ashley are having some girl-on-girl bonding as they discuss each other’s love lives. I don’t know about you, but I sensed some hot lesbionic vibes between these two. It’s sad that Emily has more sexual chemistry with Mama Marin than she did with any of her past girlfriends.

SURPRISE MAYA APPEARANCE!!!

All of a sudden, Emily contacted her first girlfriend and wanted to get in touch with her again. Coincidentally, Maya’s family just moved back to town recently.

Maya: She shoved your head underwater and you still dated her!? Girl, I came back just in time!

I LOVE how Pretty Little Liars is *owning* the fact that Paige is a psycho biatch who tried to drown Emily in the pool. Other TV programs would be embarrassed to bring up the misguided story direction ever again, but this show is like YEAH OUR LOVE INTERESTS ARE NUTJOBS AND YOU LOVE US ANYWAY.

And we do! I’m a huge Psycho Paige fan, so I hope she comes back with a brand new can of batshit crazy later this season.

Anyway, Emily is hoping to reconnect with Maya again, since she’s now a proud lesbian and her mom is no longer such a monster anymore. I’m okay with Maya coming back even though she still has weak chemistry with Emily. At least Maya is step up from that hypocrite Samara.

Speaking of chemistry, Toby is back to sticking his tongue down Spencer’s throat, where he rightfully belongs. The two of them are getting it on inside his truck…until Toby gets distracted by a mysterious figure watching from Jason’s window.

Toby: I thought I saw something.
Spencer: You keep your eyes open!? *judging you bb*
Toby: nvm, can we go back to making out now?
Spencer: I see two shadows up there! Jason isn’t alone!
Toby: Oh Spencer, please don’t go all Aria on me. Please don’t think about Jason DiLaurentis while we’re together. Look! Look at me! Look at my washboard abs under this ripped open shirt! Please look in my direction. Please? D:

Spencer deducts that Jason & Garrett must be spying on her together. Fuelled by SPENCER RAGE, she confronts the two perverts and goes marching into Jason’s property!

Instead, Spencer was surprised to find her father exiting the house. Papa Hastings is reluctant to explain his shady behaviour, and even gets into a shouting match with Toby. Evidently, he still holds a grudge against Toby for telling Spencer about that hockey stick buried in the yard. *hmm*

Spencer is like EXPLAIN YOSELF MISTER.

Peter confesses that he’s the attorney for the DiLaurentis family. A week before Alison’s death, Grandmama DiLaurentis amended her will to cut out Jason from all monetary proceedings. The parents want Peter to help them cover it up, because this last minute change would’ve painted Jason in a really guilty light.

FLASHBACK TIME: Spencer recalls that Alison visited her grandmother exactly one week before her death, which means she probably had a hand in changing the will that excluded her brother.

Spencer also remembers this bizarre conversation where Alison asks Grandmama Marin what it would take for her to disown her children. (Because that’s exactly the type of convo that you have with your friend’s grandmothers.)

And Grandmama Marin is like, “If my son was a scumbag adulterer who abandoned his beautiful wife and daughter for some hellish skank and her conniving fembot child, I would gladly disown his ass so fast so hard…which is the reason why I don’t have a son anymore. Tom Marin who?”

Mike finally grows a conscience and realizes that his destructive behaviour is tearing apart his family. Mike asks if Mama Montgomery is okay after he slammed her against the wall. Then, Mike asks if he is gonna be okay after this whole ordeal, because even the kid knows he’s clearly messed up in the head.

This is probably the first time ever that we’ve seen Aria act like a responsible older sister, as she consoles her little brother with a tearful hug. Aria is also the one who calls for a family intervention, since Mike can only get better if everyone is honest with their feelings.

After spending her Friday night scrutinizing each of her clients’ profiles, Anne realizes that A is actually a previous patient of hers! A was admitted into psychiatry help (no surprises there) for “overpowering feelings of revenge”, “anger management”, and a tendency to call people “nosey bitches”.

We also learn that A was born in 1994!!! OMGWTF THEY ACTUALLY GAVE US A LEGIT CLUE. This means A must be around the same age as the pretty little liars!

So Dr. Sullivan immediately calls the girls about her breakthrough discovery: “HEY BITCHES, I KNOW WHO A IS. COME DOWN TO THE OFFICE FOR THE GRAND REVEAL. WHAT!? TELL YOU OVER THE PHONE!? NOW WHY WOULD I POSSIBLY DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? DID SHERLOCK HOLMES EVER SOLVE HIS MYSTERIES BECAUSE WATSON TOLD HIM ABOUT THE KILLER VIA A PHONE CALL? I DIDN’T THINK SO. NOW GET YO ASSES DOWN HERE BEFORE I GET MURD-”

By the time the pretty little liars arrive at the office, Dr. Sullivan is predictably ~*missing*~.

A’s text message at the end of the episode reads: “The doctor is out. – A”

Yep, the bitch is confirmed dead, dead, dead!

RIP Dr. Anne Sullivan – A Eulogy Haiku
Oh you stupid bitch
Just say it over the phone
Who the fuck is A!?
Read more recaps!

4 Responses

  1. Default avatar Anonymous August 29th, 2011 / Monday

    Loving your recaps. My mind has been rambling on and on since I watched the episode.

    Emily: loves watching horror movies but doesn't want to be in one. well, she just ran through a bunch of trees so that is asking for someone to follow you or kill you with a hockey stick *ahem, Jason* Wait, isn't a hockey related Jason a Friday the 13th reference…

    Hannah: needs to tell Kate that only A has elaborate schemes

    Spencer: has her shoulders back! “wait, you keep your eyes open?!” And she needs to talk to Toby about something other than the pedos and strange parents on the show

    Aria: finally realized that she's a sister and for the first time had a lightbulb moment

    Doc: should have security in her office b/c obviously everyone who knows who A immediately has an accident

    PLLs: didn't learn anything from Hannah getting hit by a car in the first season

    A: has too much time on his/her/it's hands or is seriously pissed w/ these ladies. I mean, what has Emily done to you lately but learn another facial expression and stick around Rosewood to be further abused *sigh*

    Jason: is finally not stalking Aria. He's probably the one who snapped that pic of Ezria; he needs something to throw darts at :D

    Spencer's father: too busy stalking the DiLaurentis family and *protecting* Jason… his possible biological son that he always wanted to even out his family of overachieving women… I mean his neighbor. Congrats, Spencer! Killer just might run in the family…

    PLL Producers / Writers: just realized everyone has had multiple love interests but Aria; guess they forgot to make our doe-eyed romantic a man-magnet until this season *insert Jason & his sudden return* Now how do we screw everyone else over since we can't possibly give the other liars any more love interests *insert Maya's sudden return* Oh, she still exists? Maybe more people will return since they know how to renew contracts *hint, hint, CALEB!*

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      Emily: I love the opening to this episode because it reminded me of my favourite episode in Season 1, where Emily was like digging up shit in the rain. It was so intense and full of passion~

      Kate: I don't like the Machiavellian wannabe and I hope Hanna gives her a legit smackdown.

      Spencer: It seems like she got her shoulders back, but Emily got the lost-shoulders syndrome this episode. Is this supposed to be a new fashion trend? IDGI.

      Aria: Her being the most mature person in the Montgomery family made me have a O_O expression.

      Anne: All of Rosewood needs a better home & business security company, period!

      A: Seriously needs to get a new hobby. Something like hijacking Emily's cereal box must have taken forever just to get all the logistics right. I do admire his/her/its dedication towards torturing the girls though.

      PLL Writers: I love the surge of Season 1 love interests returning to Season 2 so that we have a complex web of romance for every character. Aria needs to step it up!

  2. Default avatar Anonymous November 12th, 2011 / Saturday

    Emily: i think that the need to stop targiting Emily so much my god A tried to kill her 3 times already make it look like she was a murderer, her mom made her girl got sent away to bible camp, she got hooked up with some miss matches i mean seriously Paige is a loony and Samara not like i got nothing against her but she better off with her friend from child hood so please bring Maya back please

    • Default avatar Recap Everything February 4th, 2012 / Saturday

      I know, poor Em. LEAVE EMILY ALONE. I was almost surprised she stayed alive and/or sane by the end of the halftime season finale. And yeah, Maya is the best of the three girlfriends. I still think the show needs to keep creating love interests for Emily until they get one right.

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