|The children discover they’ve been abducted; their escape draws much gunfire and bloodshed.|
|Upon arriving at the sanctuary, Hal wastes no time recruiting another hot chick into his harem of love. Meet our character of the week, Tessa, who has met Hal for less than a day, and she already wants to be impregnated by him. There’s just something so irresistible about the teenage heartthrob, and every female character on the show is tripping over their panties just to get a slice of Hal Mason action.
Lourdes puts a stop to the budding relationship between Tessa and Hal. She goes, “BITCH TAKE A NUMBER & WAIT IN LINE. ANYONE WHO COMES BETWEEN ME N’ HAL WILL GET WRITTEN OFF THE SHOW. JUST ASK KAREN. KAREN WHO? EXACTLY!”
|Although the children are adapting well to their new surroundings, their safe haven isn’t as peaceful as it seems. Tessa is reminded by her father that she shouldn’t get too attached to Hal or any of the kids here. After all, they’re involving in a diabolical scheme to peddle these innocent children to the enemy aliens!|
|Clayton and the evildoers thank Pope again for the valuable intel, but our outlaw rebel didn’t have much choice in order to stay alive. Now that Pope has divulged his last lifeline, these evil bastards see no reason to keep him alive.|
|Except we all know they aren’t going to kill off the only interesting character on the show. Naturally, Pope somehow frees himself from captivity.|
|Interestingly enough, Pope could’ve gone for the kill, but he doesn’t get his hands dirty and spares the evil guy’s life instead.|
|At dinner, emo teen Rick gets snippy with his dad. He’s all like, “HUMANS SUX, SKITTERS ROX, MUST…EAT…BRAINS.”|
|There’s clearly something wrong with Rick’s zombified son, who has been acting extraordinarily sullen since his revival a few episodes ago. Falling Skies doesn’t want any more undue comparisons between this show and The Walking Dead, so no one at the dinner table points out that Rick is acting like a *creepy* zombie.|
|Tessa: Hal, I’d like to be your girlfriend.
Hal: Ah, yes. A girlfriend. I used to have one of those. There was this blonde chick who appeared in the first three episodes, and then vanished without a trace. Hmm, I always wondered what happened to her after the aliens dragged her unconscious body right in front of my eyes. Good thing everyone on the show already forgot about her existence. What was her name again?
|Right on cue, Lourdes is there to stomp out the vague romantic sparks fostering between Tessa and Hal, but she actually has a good reason to interfere this time!|
|Being a nosy bitch who snoops around people’s bags has its advantages. Lourdes discovers a missing child’s bag, which belongs to a kid named Eli Russell. He was the same kid previously abducted last episode.|
|Hal and Lourdes express their concerns to Mike. However, he has a long history with Clayton since the beginning of the alien invasion. Mike claims that his trustworthy comrade would never put them in harm’s way.|
|Nonetheless, Mike confronts Clayton and finds out the truth about the real operations here. Clayton and the other survivors have negotiated a deal with the skitters. In exchange for their adult lives, they’re willing to sacrifice the children’s souls to the alien creatures. Every now and then, they have to meet a certain “quota” in order to stay alive.|
|And then Clayton is like, “Instead of shooting you on the spot, I’m going to prolong the drama by letting you go, give you ample time to inform the others, and allow the group of children to make a successful escape despite my security precautions around the premises.”|
|So all the kids GTFO away from Neverland Ranch as fast as they could!!!|
|This next scene is hilarious because everyone is trying to run away. But then, the whole group comes to a FULL STOP since Hal needs to go talk with Tessa and get some ~*closure*~. Literally, every single person in the room stops moving, and wasting valuable time in the process, just so they could watch Hal and Tessa have a pointless conversation with each other.|
|Anyway, Tessa believes that she and Hal can have a *future* together in the child bartering business. He responds with BITCH JOO CRAZY, so Tessa immediately alerts everyone about the late night escape!|
|Since Rick is a total asshole of a kid, he decides this is the right time to take a LEISURELY STROLL, while the group is being chased down by the bad guys with guns!!! Rick is moving so slowly that his father Mike has to stay behind to protect his son.|
|In order to buy some time for Rick to make his leisurely escape, Mike goes on a suicide mission to stall the baddies. He says one last farewell to his son before they part ways.|
|Since it wouldn’t be an episode of Falling Skies without some black guy getting killed, Mike is easily outnumbered and eventually gets gunned down by Clayton.|
|We hear a loud hollowing gunshot that signifies Mike’s death…|
|…and Rick barely reacts to his own father’s death! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!!|
|I must say, it’s a nice change of pace to see the kids act proactively and fend for themselves, instead of relying on the adults for protection. This episode is basically a rehash of the OMFG THE CHILLRUN ARE IN PERIL plotline throughout the past six episodes, but at least it’s a refreshing approach to the same old story.|
|After walking aimlessly for hours, the youths decide to take shelter in an abandoned house for a little rest and recreation.|
|Lourdes sees a piano in the house and thought to herself, LET ME MAKE A SHITLOAD OF NOISE SO WE CAN DRAW ATTENTION TO OUR WHEREABOUTS. WHAT A GREAT IDEA!|
|While Lourdes is hammering away on the piano, Hal’s ADD kicks in and he starts picking up random shit around the house for no reason at all.|
|I was waiting for an explanation to give insights into his bizarre actions. Maybe he’s trying to find edible food in the house? Or perhaps he’s reminiscing the good old days before the alien invasion?|
|But nope, Hal is just acting randomly for the fun of it, and the show made no attempts to explain why he’s picking up these inconsequential items around the kitchen. What a strange kid. *lol*|
|Meanwhile, Ben is going through a personal ~*dilemma*~. As the spikes on his back demonstrate, he’s not the same kid as he was before. The harnesses have done something to alter his mindset. However, while Rick seems to have immersed an alien mentality, Ben struggles between his human side and his skitter side. Who is he ultimately loyal to?|
|Ben is a smart kid though, and he doesn’t want to stay at the house like a sitting duck. While the others are resting, he volunteers to continue the journey outside, so that they’ll find help much sooner. Hal is like, “Well that’s more productive than Lourdes playing the piano or me picking up random objects on the table, so off you go Ben!”|
|Tom knows something has gone wrong because he lost contact with Clayton’s group, and no skitters have attacked the resistance yet. So, he and Glorified Extra #2 cruise around on their motorcycles to find some answers!|
|Tom and Ben eventually run into each other. Ben warns his father about all the DANJA going on at Neverland Ranch, and how Clayton is actually a villain in disguise. Now the show reverts back to its favourite trope, and OMFG WE MUST SAVE THE CHILDREN AGAIN!|
|Being the oldest in the group, Hal and Lourdes act as the parental figures to the other younger children.
Lourdes: Y’know, Hal, maybe when this is all over, we could have family night in the future and play board games with our own children? *hint hint* Y’know, children that we can reproduce together between you and me and God? *hint hint* Not that I’d advocate for sex before marriage, heaven forbid, but I believe it’s our heavenly duty to repopulate the earth after a catastrophe, and there just happens to be an empty bedroom upstairs…
|Unsurprisingly, the baddies are able to catch up and locate the children’s whereabouts. There’s a whole army of evil bastards outside the house, and each bad guy is equipped with a big scary machine gun.|
|Hal: We know about your deal! You need us alive!
Clayton: Yeah, there’s a term in war. Acceptable losses. One of your friends get hurt or killed, I can live with that. Can you?
|During the time of crisis, the children find a surprising ally on their side. Pope comes out of hiding and warns Hal not to engage in combat, because their group is severely outnumbered and overpowered.|
|Tom stumbles his way into the middle of the gunfight, but instead of just going in guns blazing, he has a different tactic to deal with the bad guys…|
|WTF HE SURRENDERS!?!?!?|
|Under Tom’s orders, Hal and the other kids also exit the house against their will.|
|Hal is angry that his father would give up the children to the bad guys without a fight. However, Tom believes surrendering is the only way they could minimize the risk of danger and ensure everyone here stays alive. Meanwhile, Matt is looking up at them and wondering, “Why do you guys have your hands up like you’re in the middle of an unfinished high-five?”|
|After such a gallant escape from the ranch last night, the kids are back exactly where they first started…|
|Except the circumstances have changed, because Tom came with some back-up! Captain Weaver and his soldiers begin to shoot every motherfucking bad guy in sight!!!|
|Well, not really. They kept most of these evil child bartering bastards alive, but Clayton tries to make a run for it and gets killed by karma.|
|Everyone starts celebrating because they’re safe, and Ben is such a heroic stud for running out to get help, and all is good around the neighbourhood again.
That is, of course, unless you’re poor forgotten Eli Russell, who now joins Karen in the “I got abducted but no1curr” plot territory. D:
|The pregnant chick, Sarah, gave birth to a baby daughter in this episode. The show made a lot of fuss about there being complications, and how Captain Weaver must step in to save the day. But after going through all that shit, they don’t even show the birth on screen! It’s like the showrunners suddenly realized they didn’t have enough time for the episode, so they just showed the bitch with a burlap sack in the next scene! WTF?
So yeah, I’m not giving this terrible subplot any more undeserving attention, other than one short footnote. Blah.
|Guess Pope has come full circle and ended up where he first started. The outlaw rebel is back on kitchen duty again.|
|At the funeral, Maggie uses this opportunity *not* to comfort the boy who just lost his father, but to get some cougar action on young Hal!|
|In this camera shot, we see Hal and Maggie holding hands at the funeral. But let’s not kid ourselves. The real focus here is obviously on Hal’s crotch, as it hypnotizes you into falling madly in love with him.|
|After her piano recital earlier in the episode, Lourdes continues her American Idol audition tape with a song (but unfortunately no dance).|
|We end the episode with a daunting conversation between Rick and Ben.
Rick: I don’t understand how people could kill each other.
|Rick: *sharp head turn* You should understand that!!!