Noooo, just kidding. We got a stinking filler episode and absolutely nothing has been happening so far. This might be the slowest and least interesting start to a PLL season ever. I don’t get it, are they saving all the big juicy storylines for the last ten minutes in the series finale??? With the show ending in a couple of weeks, you’d think they might kick the story into high gear instead of focusing on Aria’s inane bridal drama or Hanna’s flop of a fashion career. Season 7B almost feels like I’m watching the TLC channel with way too much time dedicated to weddings, fashion & unwed mothers.
It’s the PLL midseason premiere with some delightfully random filler! Let’s watch Aria plan her royal wedding, Mona pulls a coup and overtakes Hanna’s business, Alison and Paige have a raging feud, while Spencer sinks her claws into Toby the grieving widower.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like Spencer will be joining us for the final stretch of episodes, because this bitch is gonna be dead. There’s no way she’d survive the fatal gunshot wound from the midseason finale, right? Even if her major organs stayed intact, she must’ve slowly bled to death by now. Hey ambulance driver, turn around because we aren’t going to the hospital anymore. Let’s just save ourselves the extra trip and go directly to the morgue.
Are you ready to express your moral outrage against Ezria’s engagement? Let’s take our protests to the streets! This PLL recap also features: Alison is scammed out of her millionaire fortune, Emily flunks out of college yet again, and Jenna recruits a new lapdog!
As horrified as I am about a high school teacher marrying his student (like seriously, WHAT THE FUCK), I can’t say I’m surprised we’ve reached this point. Ezria’s relationship is like a deadly meteorite that scientists have foreseen hitting the earth seven years ago, yet nothing could stop its path of destruction despite many attempts to deter its course. There’s no use denying the inevitable outcome anymore with doomsday fast approaching us. Ezra and Aria will marry each other before the series finale and then we’ll all be dead. THE END.
It’s an epic episode of Pretty Little Liars featuring a tutorial on how to get away with (first-degree) murder. We also get sappy love triangle drama, steamy elevator sex, and most importantly Queen Jenna’s magnificent return from the underworld!
It’s a game changing episode of Shadowhunters as characters fall left and right after Valentine infiltrated the institute and turned the shadowhunters against one another. You’re dead! You’re dead too! Oops I didn’t mean to kill you, but you’re dead anyway! WHO SHALL SURVIVE THE SHADOWHUNTAH MASSACRE???
Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that the rules on incest aren’t clear enough, so we need to establish some boundaries. Jace, you cannot, cannot, CANNOT have romantic feelings for your biological sister. Once the two of you came out of the same vagina, it’s an automatic red light signal for life. That means no physical intimacy. No kissing. No touching. No longing gazes. No sexual urges. No dirty thoughts. And absolutely NO BONERS.
This Shadowhunters episode introduces Maia, the new werewolf on the block! She seems like a cool chick, but she’ll turn into a beastly bloodthirsty badass killer if you cross her! Also, this episode has lots of gay kisses, gay weddings & gay parabatai bonding.
Just think, we could’ve enjoyed an entire episode of shirtless Alec lying in bed with various close-up shots of his hairy chest. Alas, some bitch decided to be extra and covered him up: “oh golly gee, it’s getting chilly in here with the air conditioning, better put on a shirt!” as a million Shadowhunters fans scream with anguish. WHY! NOOO!! STOP!!! If only I was on set that day, I would’ve tackled the wardrobe manager to the ground and wrestled the bitch until I got hold of that goddamn shirt!